Dday was 5 months ago, WH left the kids and I for OW and is still with her. Kids and I are moving across the world (to the US) in a month! I have a job lined up, our support agreement postnup is begin reviewed by our lawyers now.
Basically, we are staying married until I want to remarry (if I do...) and we are buying a house together in the USA. I am satisfied with the support agreement. I am not set for life or anything- I will have to work. But the kids and I will have a good quality of life AND I get to take the kids to the US to my family and friends. I already have a well paying job lined up and a solid plan for buying the house in early 2023.
I regretted marrying WH for a few years now because he is a negligent selfish party boy trust fund baby. I was SOOO in love with him but he just abandoned me after we had kids. At first after DDay I was devastated because my dream of things getting better as the kids got older definitely died. But then accepted that I was super unhappy with the reality of the situation, and in a lot of ways my life is going to get so much better.
I think because I was unhappy with him and fantasied a lot about moving back to the USA with the kids, this is all so much easier to take. I am not really angry at WH. And... we we started sleeping together again, about once a week. At first it was because I was happy and didn't care and it was a nice FU to the OW. Like he's treating badly already when they are 6 months in. It makes me feel like she is NOT better than me. Not only is he still sleeping with me- I am still his wife with no plans to change that, I will always be the mother of his kids, and if she is happy being his girlfriend for a few years until he leaves her for someone else- fine. Enjoy!
It helps that there is a firm end date too. After we leave we will not see each other until he picks up the kids for christmas. And I am going to be in a completely different world.
BUT UGH now I am doing it because I love and miss him. Even though I would rather die than keep living here. So we are 10000000000% separating... but I am dreaming about him every night. And in the dreams we are still together and I find out about the affair and he chooses us. Really messes with my head. So I have to counter balance this against the ego-boost/revenge I get from sleeping with him... I think I will probably keep doing it because it's just another month and I feel like it keeps things positive between us. Like it feels like we are still on the same team with giving a good life to the kids (which is pretty much exclusively my life, as they will only see him for a few weeks a year).
I just want OW to suffer as much as I have. I know I should be mad at WH instead of her... but.... yea.
[This message edited by robinbird12 at 9:44 AM, Tuesday, June 14th]
Betrayed Wife, 39
2 preschool age children
Year long affair, he left me for the OW in Feb 2022
Staying (open) married but physically separated by an ocean.