You are in a cage and it is very dangerous, so you tell yourself to be happy with what you have. I understand that. It's a coping mechanism.
1) First of all, I commend you for having a moral compass and wanting the other woman and the child cared for.
2) Next, I am relived you have a profession and I encourage you to keep up your skills. Not to be harsh, but there is a likelihood that your husband will divorce you when you hit middle age and replace you with a younger model. You will need to know how to provide for yourself then.
3) For that same reason, I encourage you to continue trying to learn skills. Take an online finance course and learn how to handle the finances of a house. Learn about the business side of a medical practice. Learn how to drive, even if you agree only to drive for fun around your property and have an 'escort' with you. Learn to ride a bike, swim, ride a horse. Learn how to cook.
4) You should have privacy at your office and a private phone for talking to patients. You can use that to have virtual therapy sessions with a counselor. If you husband has those phones bugged, and takes issue with it, tell him it is for a legitimate reason, because it is. You need to process your betrayal.
5) See if you can try to make some of your own friends. Even people you say hello to at a gym or country club.
6) You have been taught that you are nothing more that a sex object. That's why you think dressing sexy or having strangers flirt with you is a positive thing. You are more than that. Getting through medical school isn't easy. Lots of people don't get accepted, and lots drop out. Know that you are a brain and a heart and a soul as well as a body.
7) Try to do one small thing for yourself every day, whether it's an activity you want to do, or a food you want to eat, or a book you want to read. Try to reclaim little pieces of yourself. Think about what made you happy as a little girl.
8) Don't trust your husband. Not one little bit. His having sex with other women, while traumatic, is only the tip of the iceberg. He is dangerous. He is a sociopath. He likes power. He will tell you whatever he needs to in order to keep you in line. Play along with it. But don't be naive and never forget what he's capable of. Just think of what he said about his own flesh and blood.
9) Try to formulate an escape plan. You don't need to act on it, but there is safety in having it.
[This message edited by BlackRaven at 6:38 AM, Friday, May 27th]