SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

In this thread, let's share about our experiences with gossiping people.

For me it's a long story please follow along intently.

First, I will share about my own participation in the vicious gossip about someone else's A prior to me becoming a BS myself. Of course, I horribly ashamed of this.

I was very sheltered person growing up. I was lucky enough to not have known anyone who was cheated on. So, I was as a clueless non BS as they came. I was lucky enough not to know of someone's else A until I was in my early 20's.

I was working for a large company then when I first had any encounter with someone else's A.

The BW , WH and OW all worked for the same company.

When the A came out , the BW wife slapped the WH at work.

The cops were called and took the BW to jail.

Then, the gossip at work exploded.

Everyone wanted to the juiciest details and I was one of those people. Sadly.

Now, I share about my own experiences with being the center of what people were gossiping about when my ex H's A came out.

Here are the details I will have to share so you guys can understand my story more.

My ex H had a same sex A with a coworker OM. My ex H was OM's direct supervisor. My ex H and OM worked for a big company at the time.

My ex H was the last person on earth anyone would suspect as being bisexual.

My ex H was Mr. Popular and a "man's man". A true " Alpha male" in all his social circles.

I found out about the A in June 2014 because ex H and OM were having a chat on MSN messenger. OM and my ex reminisced about the A on the chat. Then, they ended up having cyber sex.

So, from the chat I was able to get approximate timelines and details about 80% of the A that went on for years.

So, when I found out about the A, I outed my ex H and OM to their supervisors and I got them both fired.

So of course the gossip exploded. Everyone wanted the juiciest details.

My immediate reaction was to tell everyone all the juicy details that I knew to get revenge on my ex H for cheating on me.

For the first two weeks after D-Day , I foolishly sang like a canary.

Gossip about the ex H affair with OM ravaged like wildfire and I , sadly, was fanning the flames with all the correct details.

After the first two weeks of leaking the details of the A, I finally came to my senses and kept my mouth shut about the A.

By that time, it was too late.

Everyone who ever wanted to know about the A heard directly from the source herself, me.

To this day, I'm super embarassed that everyone knows all the details of the A courtesy of me.

I am typically not much of a gossip, and am generally the last person to know. Often clueless. I just found out that a girl from work had an A with my boss from 10years ago. I was floored. I will never speak of it. She has dealt with a lot, but it makes me feel sad. They both were young with babies.

As far as my situation, I said nothing for 2 years, only when We decided there was no reconciling, I told people when they asked about xh. And that was pretty limited. Some people still don’t know. Some I tell why, others I don’t. I don’t want to show too many people my pain. I am honest if they ask. Only a few know about her being a prostitute. I don’t want my kids to find out, and he still needs his family. But if he gets back with her, no more holding back. This is a promise I made to him.

My ex did feel it necessary to get to people before I did. An idiot but I I don’t care. I hate being the topic of gossip.

Before I became a BS, I worked with a guy who’s wife had an affair with her Doctor. He triggered often and would go on rants. At the time, I thought it was pathetic. Everyone grew very tired of hearing "The Story" over and over again. Many people said, "No wonder she cheated on him…he’s annoying" or they said, "That dude needs to get a life…move on all ready". One day, I couldn’t take it anymore and I gave him the, "Hey, you need to keep that shit to yourself…perhaps you shouldn’t talk about it so much" speech.

Well, Karma has struck and now I’m "That Guy". If the post-A Realityblows was there, at that time, I would have totally understood and really helped that poor guy, and even helped each other.

That’s why I hang out here now. I’m paying it back and paying a penance.

My so called "gossip" will be a bit different from pretty much everyone else's.

Why? I'm 22 years old, never been cheated on, but this "gossip" is about my mom, who cheated on my dad, many times.

This "gossip" isn't really gossip at all as it isn't hearsay. I was there, I lived it, heard it, saw it etc.

For instance, one weekend a long time ago, my mother took my 2 brothers and me almost 200 miles away, out of state to spend the weekend with her lover.

I was only 6 years old when that happened. I remember it still, mostly for the fact that I lost my first ever tooth at that man's house. I wanted to talk to my dad so I had my mom call him and I excitedly told my dad about losing my first tooth. I put it under my pillow that night for the tooth fairy of course.

A few months earlier, before we moved to another state, my dad moved ahead of us as he got a new job in the next state over. We, my mom, my 2 brothers and myself, were going to join him about 5 weeks later and we did.

While my dad was in that state working, my mom had this man come over to our house and then we all went out to dinner. Again, I was 6 years old when that happened.

My mom went off on many "girl's weekends", except no other women were there of course, just that man. My dad had us so many weekends while that was happening.

At night, we wanted to talk to our mom, say goodnight to her, but she wouldn't answer her cellphone. Come to find out, much later on, my dad went off on my mom for that and she cried when finding out we wanted to talk to her before going to bed but she wasn't answer my dad's calls.

During my parent's divorce, after my dad moved out, there were two different times when my mom took belongings of my father's over to his new place and just left them outside in the grass for anyone to take as he was still at work.

I remember this for several reasons, besides the fact I was there both times.

My mom had a Honda Odyssey minivan and she took out the rear seats, all of them, to load things up in her van. Both my younger brother and me didn't even have a seat to sit in let alone a seatbelt when we rode from our place over to my dad's new place to drop his things off for him.

I have much more, but that's enough "gossip" for now.

My mother still can't understand why I don't want anything to do with her. I'm out of college now and I've not been with her on major holidays (Thanksgiving, Easter, Xmas) as I go to my dad's for them.

When my mom got married for the 3rd time, in 2019, I didn't go to her wedding either. She was upset with me about that, she still is too. I feel like I'm the parent and she's the child.

She. Just. Does. Not. Get. It.

And she never will either.

I was 20 and my BF if 18 months cheated on me with another girl. Typical smalll town drama crap.

So this girl stole my BF. Whatever. I did nothing.

However she always felt threatened by me. I guess she wasn’t sure the relationship was going well. I never did anything to retaliate. I just moved on.

A few months after the break up I went in a family vacation to Florida. Gone for a week.

I come home to learn that the jealous GF of my XBF spread a rumor I was gone from town b/c I had an abortion. My XBF did nothing to stop the rumor b/c I wasn’t pregnant b/c we never had sex. He just let it ride.

There was nothing I could do. I don’t know if people believed it. But I just had to suck it up.

All my "friends" dropped me to remain friends with the XBF. Except for one girl. She remained my friend.

Rumors are nasty.

1st Wife.

Small towns can be heartless.

My own aunt told everyone I had an abortion when I was 22. That made for fun family drama. I was only told many years later, my aunt did not escape the wrath of my mom. I almost felt sorry for my aunt. Man wish I had been a fly on the wall.

Lol

Our neighbor/"friend" was a hairdresser and ended up telling one of my W's good friends about the A. My W's friend immediately let her know that our neighbor was spreading the news to everyone.