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Divorce/Separation :
Filing tomorrow - so... how do I tell my spouse?

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rambler ( member #43747) posted at 4:57 AM on Friday, March 4th, 2022

Sorry this is what it came to. You will survive and live well. Best wishes to you.

making it through

posts: 1322   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2014   ·   location: Chicago
id 8721030
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smolderingdark ( member #64064) posted at 7:39 PM on Friday, March 18th, 2022

So we're going to stay friends, and I'm sure you're right that maybe she's not going to be able to stay friends if that's who she really is. She's getting help. But I know, in the back of her mind, she knows she threw away the best person there ever could have been for her.

She is not your friend.

In the back of her mind the only thing she knows is that she underestimated you and overestimated her control over you. Nothing more. If she ever was capable of recognizing your value and appreciating you she would never have betrayed you.

She regrets being caught. She regrets that she has lost control over you and the narrative.

Entertain her as your friend at your own risk. She will still look for ways to hurt you and assert control over your life. If you give her the opportunity she will do her best to not only sabotage your efforts to heal and move on, but she will attempt to tank any romantic relationships you may enjoy going forward.

[This message edited by smolderingdark at 7:39 PM, Friday, March 18th]

posts: 167   ·   registered: Jun. 7th, 2018
id 8724146
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 lumpygravy (original poster member #11877) posted at 4:37 AM on Sunday, March 27th, 2022

She is not your friend.

In the back of her mind the only thing she knows is that she underestimated you and overestimated her control over you. Nothing more. If she ever was capable of recognizing your value and appreciating you she would never have betrayed you.

She regrets being caught. She regrets that she has lost control over you and the narrative.

I literally have no idea where her mind is. I think it's just likely she's just has a disconnect. We're still friendly towards each other, but I am frustrating the hell out of her with boundaries.

BS: Me WS: Her M: 26 Years
Daughter: 24 DDays: 1996, 8/2006, 5/2016
1st: Online, 2nd: EA/PA, 3rd: She got shot down
Divorced 3/22

posts: 133   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2006
id 8726154
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 lumpygravy (original poster member #11877) posted at 4:48 AM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

She is not your friend.

In the back of her mind the only thing she knows is that she underestimated you and overestimated her control over you. Nothing more. If she ever was capable of recognizing your value and appreciating you she would never have betrayed you.

She regrets being caught. She regrets that she has lost control over you and the narrative.

Entertain her as your friend at your own risk. She will still look for ways to hurt you and assert control over your life. If you give her the opportunity she will do her best to not only sabotage your efforts to heal and move on, but she will attempt to tank any romantic relationships you may enjoy going forward.

Wellllllll this is kinda coming true.

BS: Me WS: Her M: 26 Years
Daughter: 24 DDays: 1996, 8/2006, 5/2016
1st: Online, 2nd: EA/PA, 3rd: She got shot down
Divorced 3/22

posts: 133   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2006
id 8733640
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 4:40 PM on Friday, May 6th, 2022

Wellllllll this is kinda coming true.

What's going on?

Me-56 FWH-58 Married 38 years 9/2/2021 grown daughters-38&34 12yo GS,9yo GD & 7yo.GD (DD38) and 10yo GD & 5yo GD(DD34). D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8834   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8733969
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