I think my biggest healing will come when I can forgive myself for ignoring the warning signs and also accept that my DWH had pretty serious mental issues.
This ^^^... Forgiving yourself... You can't physically relive the past again and correct/re-do. Though, your mind is still there bringing past to the present re those events, but still, nothing can be done to fix them. What was, was. Questions are: what lessons did we learn? Who are we today after going thru this experience?
As for mental issues, infidelity is an addiction and also shows an inability to Love (in many cases, not all, though). Rarely any addiction is enacted on its own, usually, there are at least 2 addictions. Add the character traits and morals, and this mixture can explode at any time.
However, we, as their spouses can NOT change them. I no longer believe in excuses for FOO issues(we had a discussion about this issue just yesterday). There is a free will and Healthy ADULTS should be able to make proper choices, make decisions, etc. FOO excuse leaves them in the childhood state of mind inside the adult body.
PurpleRiegn, absolutely, YOU didn't fail!
Healing to you, PurpleReign!
[This message edited by TruthIsPower at 4:19 PM, Wednesday, November 24th]
"Stop giving people the reasons to love you. Not all will see the beauty of your soul. Those who know, those who know who you are, will love you with something fierce and never let you go. Those are the ones worth holding out for."