I spent my day thinking about you and the horrible treatment an affair has on the spouse, you have endured abuse. It is abuse. YOU suffered abuse at the hand of your husband.
I posted harshly about having your husband get a vasectomy without asking your motives. Because of my many experiences I judged that you maybe doing it to continue the revenge and consequence you feel your husband should face.
RA and revenge in general need a lot of consideration. What is fair justice for his abuse, kill him, cane him, D him, just some cheap forgiveness? You decided to humiliate him, that maybe fair justice. But in the long run when has justice been served? When will you have extracted enough justice for his abuse? NEVER is true.
Then how do you move forward to some form of forgiveness. Now both of you have cheated you both must find the scales are as even as they ever can be and move to R or D. Get out of infidelity.
Please find love and stop the circle of abuse your marriage is suffering from. Stop any WW thinking you still have, expect your H to stop his WW thinking he still has.
The dark thoughts of revenge I have had are so troubling to me because I have lived a life with a credo "Revenge is Gods", so I do think I understand your need for revenge or some justice. But at what point does it stop? I have cancer (short jailtime) so my darkness has gone so far as to add a couple holes in AP. Thoughts no one would think I could ever have. No worries I have children and grandchildren I want to continue seeing.
Please think about stopping your affair and any of the good thoughts you have from it. Think about how you move on to a great life full of love not hate.
I hope others on your thread can keep your feet to the fire, with love and respect I failed at with my earlier posts.
[This message edited by Organic2003 at 3:33 AM, Saturday, November 13th]