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Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 3:31 PM on Friday, November 26th, 2021
Not much to add but just want to point out. It's not simply your mothers dominance. She is an 'outward' person, no thought on how she affects those around her, especially family. Take it for what it's worth. Nothing.
Your father. Sounds like a good guy. What happens when you decide to divorce is those people you are close to that stay with abusive partners, feel like they are loosing a comrade. He is loosing relating to you on that level of life. It might be nice to get together with him and do some out of the box things. Create some shared memories based on father/son. There is plenty to relate to in life. He will not be a good person to discus the formalities and details of the divorce with. In a weird way, it will make him jealous, although he may not be aware of it. It crashes into his world view.
I wish you had their support, I am so sorry you have to do this in spite of them.
You are definitely leveling up a couple of notches of toughness! You are going to be so relieved when this is navigated. Also, you are free to offer her more up front in place of life-time alimony, making sure it is not alterable. Worth throwing in last minute, don't let that even get close to entering her head as something you care about. In fact, don't discuss ANYTHING about the split of assets or alimony. My lawyer warned me that when they get a number in their head, it is now their new starting point and really screws with coming to a fair split.
Take care.
lumpygravy (original poster member #11877) posted at 5:01 PM on Friday, November 26th, 2021
Thank you, Anna. That felt so good to read, I got very emotional. I can see myself going down to see my dad, having lunch, and just snooping around pawn shops for broken tools and complaining about the price. It's what he does, and I'd love to do that with him.
Looking forward seems just a bit brighter every day.
[This message edited by lumpygravy at 5:02 PM, Friday, November 26th]
BS: Me WS: Her M: 26 Years
Daughter: 24 DDays: 1996, 8/2006, 5/2016
1st: Online, 2nd: EA/PA, 3rd: She got shot down
Divorced 3/22
Repossessed ( member #79544) posted at 9:33 PM on Friday, November 26th, 2021
I can see myself going down to see my dad, having lunch, and just snooping around pawn shops for broken tools and complaining about the price. It's what he does, and I'd love to do that with him.
Made me smile. Sounds so good.
Here to keep myself mindful that I don't always see what actually is. I certainly didn't when I married her.
lumpygravy (original poster member #11877) posted at 2:21 AM on Saturday, December 4th, 2021
I've moved on to a divorce thread if anyone is interested.
https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/655144/filing-tomorrow-so-how-do-i-tell-my-spouse/
BS: Me WS: Her M: 26 Years
Daughter: 24 DDays: 1996, 8/2006, 5/2016
1st: Online, 2nd: EA/PA, 3rd: She got shot down
Divorced 3/22
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