Newest Member: Qashess

New Beginnings :
New beginning on the other side of the world


 Hedwig (original poster member #74175) posted at 8:10 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

A little more than a month ago I moved from Europe to Mexico, to fulfill a lifelong dream of living and working abroad.
I am living that dream now.

It was something I couldn't do with EXWBF because he didn't want to. Not only was he afraid of flying, he also did not like going to 'exotic' or faraway places on holidays. When I told him once that I wanted to see the world, he said I could see it on tv. Asshole. Also, his job was very much tied to my homecountry, while my job is more of something I can do wherever.

As soon as I ended our relationship, I started making this plan and started saving money to be able to do this. I told myself I would give myself at least two years time to be single and heal, so that I can do all these wonderfull things by myself and enjoy them by myself. So far so good! I've been single for more than a year and intend to keep it that way. The plan is to live and work in Mexico for 6 months and then go traveling South-America and South-East Asia for another 6 months. I'm excited! I know I also still have a lot of trauma to unpack and I'm getting there.

Are there any other people who have been cheated on and have freed themselves to pursue a lifelong dream? I would love to hear your stories!

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 261   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8688086

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:06 AM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

I went to Southeast Asia for a month - was so great. Change in latitude, change in attitude.

Then I got my master’s degree, and about to start a new job that I would have been scared to try with him.

Our dreams are different, but heck yeah I am fulfilling them!

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4215   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8688116

 Hedwig (original poster member #74175) posted at 2:21 AM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

Yes, BearlyBreathing, I love that you did that! That's exactly what I'm talking about! Good luck on the new job, I'm sure you'll be amazing!

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 261   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8688119

The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 12:16 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

Hi Hedwig glad to see this fabulous update.

I didn’t travel and reconciled with my H but I can tell you I started a business I always wanted to try after his last affair. He never stopped me from doing it but I decided now was the time so I did.

Very successful (until the pandemic) but I can tell you that it was worth it.

I’m happy to see you are successful and living your dream!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10574   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8688134

Chrysalis123 ( Guide #27148) posted at 7:51 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

How great! Please tell us more. I find this idea very intriguing.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 8688177

thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 9:19 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

Oh, Hedwig, congratulations on finding your new beginning to be your life's dream!

I feel very fortunate to be able to say the same. xpos did enjoy traveling, but only to places of his choosing; where he wanted to do things or see people or both.

The very first post-DDay trip I planned had to be canceled because of a court date he forced. He won again! mad Since then, I have taken cruises (which he absolutely refused to consider) that are considered iconic but I did them because I wanted to learn things about those areas, not the reasons they are so popular, and found them spectacular - for my reasons. Two of them were with friends who helped make them special and one of those I had tried to talk him into for over a decade.

I have also, like you, spent time on "the other side of the world" - in both directions - and feel so fortunate to have been able to afford to do so and to have been invited several times to a very special far-away place. More than once I have stopped in my tracks, taking in an exceptional view, place or people, and just pinched myself to see if this was really my life! Once again, I have to say, check out my tag line!

Enjoy every minute of your New Beginning life done YOUR way, Hedwig!

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 4998   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8688185

Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 2:11 PM on Monday, September 13th, 2021

Sounds so cool!

[This message edited by Anna123 at 2:13 PM, Monday, September 13th]

posts: 624   ·   registered: Jul. 1st, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8688261

hopefullife ( member #71881) posted at 3:33 PM on Monday, September 20th, 2021

This sounds so exciting! I did my very first solo travel after we separated and it was amazing beyond words. I am hoping to relocate too, pursue old dreams. I hope I'd get as lucky~ cheers to fulfilling lifelong dreams!

10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids.
2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child.
Focusing on self.

posts: 401   ·   registered: Oct. 20th, 2019
id 8689366
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