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Newest Member: mindracing

New Beginnings :
New beginning on the other side of the world

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Hedwig (original poster member #74175) posted at 8:10 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

A little more than a month ago I moved from Europe to Mexico, to fulfill a lifelong dream of living and working abroad.
I am living that dream now.

It was something I couldn't do with EXWBF because he didn't want to. Not only was he afraid of flying, he also did not like going to 'exotic' or faraway places on holidays. When I told him once that I wanted to see the world, he said I could see it on tv. Asshole. Also, his job was very much tied to my homecountry, while my job is more of something I can do wherever.

As soon as I ended our relationship, I started making this plan and started saving money to be able to do this. I told myself I would give myself at least two years time to be single and heal, so that I can do all these wonderfull things by myself and enjoy them by myself. So far so good! I've been single for more than a year and intend to keep it that way. The plan is to live and work in Mexico for 6 months and then go traveling South-America and South-East Asia for another 6 months. I'm excited! I know I also still have a lot of trauma to unpack and I'm getting there.

Are there any other people who have been cheated on and have freed themselves to pursue a lifelong dream? I would love to hear your stories!

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 267   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8688086
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:06 AM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

I went to Southeast Asia for a month - was so great. Change in latitude, change in attitude.

Then I got my master’s degree, and about to start a new job that I would have been scared to try with him.

Our dreams are different, but heck yeah I am fulfilling them!

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4979   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8688116
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 Hedwig (original poster member #74175) posted at 2:21 AM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

Yes, BearlyBreathing, I love that you did that! That's exactly what I'm talking about! Good luck on the new job, I'm sure you'll be amazing!

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 267   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8688119
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 12:16 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

Hi Hedwig glad to see this fabulous update.

I didn’t travel and reconciled with my H but I can tell you I started a business I always wanted to try after his last affair. He never stopped me from doing it but I decided now was the time so I did.

Very successful (until the pandemic) but I can tell you that it was worth it.

I’m happy to see you are successful and living your dream!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12527   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8688134
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 7:51 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

How great! Please tell us more. I find this idea very intriguing.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 8688177
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 9:19 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

Oh, Hedwig, congratulations on finding your new beginning to be your life's dream!

I feel very fortunate to be able to say the same. xpos did enjoy traveling, but only to places of his choosing; where he wanted to do things or see people or both.

The very first post-DDay trip I planned had to be canceled because of a court date he forced. He won again! mad Since then, I have taken cruises (which he absolutely refused to consider) that are considered iconic but I did them because I wanted to learn things about those areas, not the reasons they are so popular, and found them spectacular - for my reasons. Two of them were with friends who helped make them special and one of those I had tried to talk him into for over a decade.

I have also, like you, spent time on "the other side of the world" - in both directions - and feel so fortunate to have been able to afford to do so and to have been invited several times to a very special far-away place. More than once I have stopped in my tracks, taking in an exceptional view, place or people, and just pinched myself to see if this was really my life! Once again, I have to say, check out my tag line!

Enjoy every minute of your New Beginning life done YOUR way, Hedwig!

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 4999   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8688185
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Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 2:11 PM on Monday, September 13th, 2021

Sounds so cool!

[This message edited by Anna123 at 2:13 PM, Monday, September 13th]

posts: 676   ·   registered: Jul. 1st, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8688261
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hopefullife ( member #71881) posted at 3:33 PM on Monday, September 20th, 2021

This sounds so exciting! I did my very first solo travel after we separated and it was amazing beyond words. I am hoping to relocate too, pursue old dreams. I hope I'd get as lucky~ cheers to fulfilling lifelong dreams!

10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids.
2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child.
Focusing on self.

posts: 402   ·   registered: Oct. 20th, 2019
id 8689366
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 Hedwig (original poster member #74175) posted at 7:41 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

@The1stWife: starting a new business is definitely the kind of thing I’m talking about. That’s amazing you did that. How is it going now, in this stage of the pandemic and all?


@Chrysalis123: what do you want to know?

I’m a video content creator and a teacher so I can tutor, make videos and create exam revision courses all online. All I need is a quiet place and my equipment. I have travelled solo before so I’m okay by myself but also know how to meet people. And I’ve learned enough Spanish in the time that I’ve been here to get around and have short conversations.

Of course there’s challenges too, like all life does. But at least I don’t have to compromise on whatever I want to do!


@thebighurt: thank you!

Oh, how the ‘his choosing’ resonates with me. at destinations he picked, he would wake up at the crack of down to make the most of it, at destinations I picked, he ‘wanted to take it slow, ease into the day’

Ah, those cruises sound amazing! I would love to do that one day too. What is a place you’d like to go back to someday?

More than once I have stopped in my tracks, taking in an exceptional view, place or people, and just pinched myself to see if this was really my life!

exactly this!


Thank you, @anna123!


@hopefullife: solo travel really is the best! I hope you get to fulfil your dream of relocating!

[This message edited by Hedwig at 7:41 PM, Wednesday, October 13th]

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 267   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8692983
Topic is Sleeping.
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