Newest Member: Serenity7

Divorce/Separation :
Feeling sad tonight

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 csaiht (original poster Member #77335) posted at 4:58 AM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

It's been a week and a half since my xWH moved out. Because of family-of-origin issues, I no longer talk to any of my family, and my WH was the last person in my life who I've known for a long time. We met as teenagers. He knows everything about my life, my family, etc. We share so many memories together. I've known him for more of my life than I haven't known him.
I have nobody who knows anything about me anymore. I'm just feeling really sad about this realization and need to get it out.

I know it will get better eventually and that I'm better off, so I'm not looking for anyone to tell me that. I just need to sit with my grief right now with others who understand. Thanks for listening.

Me: BW Him: xWH
both in late 30s
Together 19 years, married 12
young kids
Dday 1 - Feb 2020 PA
False R for 8 months
Dday 2 - Oct 2020 Discovered a 9 year long PA/EA & other EAs
Separated - Aug 2021

posts: 66   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2021
id 8686179
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 5:56 AM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

You’ve been heard. Sorry you are hurting tonight. (((Hugs)))

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8686182
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HalfTime2017 ( Member #64366) posted at 9:03 PM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

Csaiht- Have you looked into local divorce help groups? Many churches offer this. This might be a safe space for you to connect with people locally who are going through you are experiencing.

posts: 1144   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Cali
id 8686291
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 csaiht (original poster Member #77335) posted at 4:33 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

Thanks to you both.

I have not looked into local divorce groups, but I keep meaning to do that. It's extra hard trying to build a new life & connect with people in the middle of a pandemic.

Me: BW Him: xWH
both in late 30s
Together 19 years, married 12
young kids
Dday 1 - Feb 2020 PA
False R for 8 months
Dday 2 - Oct 2020 Discovered a 9 year long PA/EA & other EAs
Separated - Aug 2021

posts: 66   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2021
id 8686371
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Elbell ( Member #25814) posted at 5:25 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

I very much feel this. My husband moved out (for the 2nd time) right before our 30 year anniversary. I've known him longer than anyone. He was my best friend (so I thought), it's really hard to trunkate my realization to match his. I feel lonely and desolate, and yet not remotely willing to have him back. All I can say is that I understand your pain, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

posts: 807   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2009
id 8686373
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Elbell ( Member #25814) posted at 5:26 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

I very much feel this. My husband moved out (for the 2nd time) right before our 30 year anniversary. I've known him longer than anyone. He was my best friend (so I thought), it's really hard to trunkate my realization to match his. I feel lonely and desolate, and yet not remotely willing to have him back. All I can say is that I understand your pain, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

posts: 807   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2009
id 8686374
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Elbell ( Member #25814) posted at 5:30 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

Sorry, someone tell me how to undo a post so that it doesn't happen twice?

posts: 807   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2009
id 8686375
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GShale ( Member #78790) posted at 7:59 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

I am so sorry you are going through this. Hugs

My husband walked out on our family, after I caught him messaging the OW, on 11 Aug, exactly one month before our 17th Wedding Anniversary.

He too was my best friend and it breaks my heart he now thinks our marriage was a mistake because the OW says so.

She is going through her second divorce and apparently he thinks she gives sound advise.

posts: 51   ·   registered: May. 13th, 2021
id 8686384
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TruthIsPower ( Member #75776) posted at 7:22 PM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

csaiht, pls chk your PM

"Stop giving people the reasons to love you. Not all will see the beauty of your soul. Those who know, those who know who you are, will love you with something fierce and never let you go. Those are the ones worth holding out for."

posts: 95   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2020   ·   location: US
id 8686483
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