Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

Divorce/Separation :
Never ending bullshit with scumbag of a xw


 somejaykid (original poster member #68835) posted at 5:40 AM on Thursday, August 26th, 2021

mad Alright time to vent one more time here again, went to court yesterday because of the x not paying the car payment thus ruining my credit score. it took numerous times for me and my lawyer to get her to show up on court and yesterday she finally showed up. the judge ask her why she didn't pay the car payment on time and she explained that she is sick, going to dialysis and lost her job, got PREGNANT with her hobo boyfriend. I wasn't expecting the judge with be on her side on this one. boy was I fucking pissed at the judge in short story the judge gave her a slap in the wrist and that was it. she ruined my credit score and I can't even get my money back from my lawyer because she doesn't have a job to pay me for my lawyer. what kind of fucking bullshit is this court system if I reverse the role I sure hell be in jail right now if I did this to her. motherfucker I am so fucking pissed. why would you bring a child in this world if you are sick and financially can't afford it. not fucking fair for me and my kid's. I talked to my son and he said he doesn't like going to his mom because he said that both of them are being mean to him he told me he rather stay with his grandparents than her. how fucking sad that your own children doesn't want to see you. does anybody have the same situation I have? how did you guys get through this situation. I'm having a melt down because of this I try to be positive but every time I talk/deal with this piece of shit I get so mad still. I still can't believe she brought a child in this world knowing damn well you are not capable of being a good parent.

posts: 95   ·   registered: Nov. 13th, 2018
id 8685529

Unrealized ( member #77151) posted at 12:10 PM on Thursday, August 26th, 2021

I hear you. That is really frustrating and sad for your kids. I guess the only way forward is to do the best for the kids. She has proven to them that she is a shitty parent. Stay strong

posts: 60   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2021
id 8685538

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:55 PM on Thursday, August 26th, 2021

Ugh. You’ve been heard. Glad you are getting away from her.

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4214   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8685547

grubs ( member #77165) posted at 3:06 PM on Thursday, August 26th, 2021

Unfortunately many make the mistake of thinking that lenders care what the divorce decree says. Your name is on the loan and the lender wants their money. They are obviously not getting it from her so you are next up. You are liable for paying them. Eventually they will repo the car, auction it off, and send the remaining balance to collections. I'd try to force it's sale or return to cut your loses. If you want to minimize the damage to your credit you should pay off any remaining balance. Then sue, hopefully in small claims court, your ex for it. You probably won't have much better luck than the auto finance but that's your best bet. My wife learned this the hard way when her ex's finances crumbled in the years after the divorce. We ended up paying his bills for a while to keep her credit clean until he was able to bounce back and pay off everything with her name on it.

[This message edited by grubs at 3:06 PM, Thursday, August 26th]

posts: 748   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8685559

 somejaykid (original poster member #68835) posted at 3:18 PM on Thursday, August 26th, 2021

that's the shitty part, her car got repo but low and behold she paid the late fee's and got her car back then a couple months afterward she's back not paying the car. I told her that her hobo boyfriend need to step up and help her pay the car but nope she didn't listen she ruined her credit score and I was the collateral damage in the process. aarrrggghhhhhhh such bullshit mad .

posts: 95   ·   registered: Nov. 13th, 2018
id 8685562

grubs ( member #77165) posted at 5:58 PM on Thursday, August 26th, 2021

that's the shitty part, her car got repo but low and behold she paid the late fee's and got her car back then a couple months afterward she's back not paying the car.

Ugg. I see you are the co-signer not a co-borrower. You are kind of screwed. Since you have no ownership rights to the car you can't force it to be sold or returned. Co-signing is never a good idea for this reason. I actually did worse. My ex's name was on the deed to the house but not the mortgage since her credit was abysmal. The worst case is your ex or hobo ap totals it without insurance. Since your ex is pretty much judgement proof right now the bank is going to end up coming after you for the balance owed once the car or what is left of it is reclaimed and sold. The next time bank calls you I would mention she is your ex and is unemployed. Maybe that will speed things along. Don't offer to pay anything until the car is repo'd and sold. At least then you will know how much the final bill is going to be. The bank can and will get a judgement against you at that point. You need to plan accordingly. You of course can and should try and recoup this loss from your ex per the divorce decree, but the whole judgement proof part isn't likely to change. You'll be just another creditor trying to get money from someone who doesn't have any.
PS. anybody that is prefinal on the divorce should endeavor to insure that any refinancing is complete pre-finalization. Pre-decree you can at least hold their feet to the fire a bit more.

[This message edited by grubs at 6:01 PM, Thursday, August 26th]

posts: 748   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8685589

Bigger ( Guide #8354) posted at 5:12 PM on Friday, August 27th, 2021

Could you elaborate on how your divorce was done?
This site is all about learning – and sad fact is we learn most for our or other peoples mistakes.
What I’m wondering is how/why a loan was left hanging out there without being dealt with, why it was left unaltered despite you being a cosigner.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 9858   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8685852

grubs ( member #77165) posted at 6:16 PM on Friday, August 27th, 2021

I don't think it's uncommon for the divorce to leave refinancing things to be done after. Generally, at least in my state, the judge just wants to know if both parties agree with the separation agreement. Doing some of it before can be more troublesome. I had to have my ex with me to sign off on the home refinance along with the quit claim deed. I don't think it's smart though, because enforcement after the fact is hard as somejaykid has found out. Truthfully, I doubt his ex could have refinanced it. There's a reason he had to co-sign it originally, and there was no way the bank was removing him from the loan. If this had be required prior to the divorce, the agreement could have been rewritten to enforce the vehicle's sale instead.

My wife had her share of similar issues with her ex. They split the debt, mid five figures, evenly. He kept and refinanced the house. She finished paying off her share right after we were married. His business was very weather related and he didn't have the discipline to put money aside to get him through Jan-March when accounts payables dried up. We spent the first few years of our marriage floating him the minimums just so her credit wouldn't get dinged. Part of his debt was the loan on her car with the stipulation that it be signed over to her when the lien was satisfied. She didn't find out that he had let the insurance lapse until the day her son slide off the road on ice straight into a tree totaling it. Going through that with her is one of the reasons, I always strongly recommend full refinancing of anything shared prior to the divorce.

[This message edited by grubs at 6:17 PM, Friday, August 27th]

posts: 748   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8685864

jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 3:19 PM on Sunday, August 29th, 2021

I still can't believe she brought a child in this world knowing damn well you are not capable of being a good parent.

Yup. I would bet that if you drew a graph of irresponsibility vs. pregnancy, the plotted line shoots off into infinity. rolleyes

Fiscal/emotional responsibility? Never even a factor.

2 boys
Married 28yrs.(together over 30yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day(s): Enough
Accepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14

posts: 3820   ·   registered: Feb. 21st, 2010   ·   location: northeast
id 8686092

keptmyword ( member #35526) posted at 1:22 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

what kind of fucking bullshit is this court system

I hear you and agree.

The family court system is atrocious.

I believe it’s just a case churning revenue scheme structured by attorneys and former-attorney-turned-politicians with the goal of making large salaries based on billable attorney fees, mediation fees, and court system fees.

My XWW, out of the blue, betrayed, backstabbed, lied and deceived me and our children - and I was forced to pay her attorney fees so that I could divorce her.

She, literally, did not have to pay a penny for the divorce - and she gets what is laughingly called "child support."

I am forced to work to earn money to give it to someone else who is equally educated as me and has the children around as much as me.

And, there is absolutely zero accountability for how she spends "child support" money.

I could have video of her taking "child support" money to a drug dealer and buying a big bag of cocaine every month with it and the family court would not give a shit.

I know for fact that my XWW does not spend the "child support" money on my children.

The money I am forced to earn and give to her goes toward supporting her all-important social life with what she attempts to call "friends."

She’s been sued by several banks for taking out credit lines, maxing out the credit, and not paying back a penny of it - and I am forced to give this person money under the deception that it is to be spent on the children.

It’s simply court-ordered extortion.

At the same time, she is supposed to pay 25% of all out-of-pocket health insurance costs - and she has not paid a penny of any of it in the well over eight years since the divorce was finalized.

We’re talking to the tune of several thousand dollars worth.

If I were to attempt to take her to court to recover it all, it would end up costing me more in attorney and court fees alone.

And all the while, I have to deal with her fucking phony contemptuous attitude towards me.

Believe me, I understand where you’re coming from.

It has nothing to do with you.

Filed for and proceeded with divorce.

posts: 1134   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2012
id 8686341

 somejaykid (original poster member #68835) posted at 3:11 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

sorry for the late response guys, yeah still mad at the situation I am in. hopefully she transfer the title on her own name now, i don't want no more ticket's in the mail and affecting my score all over again

posts: 95   ·   registered: Nov. 13th, 2018
id 8686603
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