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So how do I start dipping my toes in the dating pool?

I am feeling that I am ready but COVID has been a handy excuse.

OLD is the norm , but I am at a huge disadvantage since I am literally the least photogenic person alive. I’m okay in person, but in photos I am a troll. (Even dear friends confirm this) I think I have so much to offer now, but how to relay my awesomeness?

Do I just need to jump on and keep a thick skin?

Signed,

Terrified troll

Find some meetup groups or sign up for some classes. That's what I'm planning on doing.

I have zero desire to OLD cus that's how I wound up with xwh, so kinda turned me right off that idea.

I go out and do things I like and talk to people. I usually end up meeting a few new people every time I go out and as a minimum strengthen the bond with my existing friends. My ex expected me to always be home with her so other than family and people I worked with I did not have many chances to interact with people when I was married.

I have zero desire to OLD cus that's how I wound up with xwh, so kinda turned me right off that idea.

Same. I would never say never but I really will be avoiding that as long as I can, once I am ready to date. Although to be fair that was nearly a decade ago so maybe it is a little better now.

I am at a huge disadvantage since I am literally the least photogenic person alive.

I am also VERY non-photogenic! Are you taking selfies? I think those look the least flattering for me! If you have someone you are comfortable with taking your picture, just have someone take a ton from different angles and see if you find some that look like you look in person.

I do like the other people's ideas of doing meetup groups, too!

I like meeting people. I didn't know I liked meeting people until I became separated and then divorced. I had spent the majority of my life isolating with my ex and our 3 sons. I've had decent luck with just meeting people and with OLD.

The first lady I dated I actually met on a group bike ride. We chatted while riding along after getting separated from the big group. We met the next day for another bike ride and then started meeting for walks and more bike rides and had a few dinners. She had been divorced for about 8 years and I was very straightforward that I was just separated. We stayed in the friend zone for about 5 months and seemed to spend a lot of time together. When my divorce became final, we both started moving toward a deeper relationship and had a great deal of fun with ski weekends, snowshoeing, wine tastings, hot springs soaking and other fun stuff. In the end, however, the difference in the stages of life we were both in were too much to overcome and we parted.

Later I dated a lady I had first connected with via OLD. We enjoyed bike rides, hikes, dinners and walks. However, also in the end, differences in lifestyles brought that to a close after about 3 months.

No regrets with either.

I dipped my feet back into the OLD world and have been very honest about the fact that I'm not sure I'm ready for more than casual dating and friendship. I've had some very fun "coffee dates", hikes, walks and some no strings attached intimacy. This weekend I'm meeting a new friend that just about killed me on a difficult hike in the mountains last weekend for an overnight camping trip and drive back into my town for a concert then back to the campground for the evening then a hike or kayak around a mountain lake on the next day.

I have another friend who I know from the gym. We've been chatting and talking on and off for a few months. We've become good friends. she's about to become an empty nester just like I soon will be. So we have that in common, even if a father's perspective is different than a mother's perspective.

I guess what it came down to for me was to be brave enough to start talking to people. There are other people like us out there. I was looking for friends and had a couple of nice and fun romances.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 3:36 AM, Wednesday, August 11th]