Can we just talk about Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani for a moment?
Blake and his new wife Gwen have been all over the news as of late. Everyone is excited to hear about their "super secret" wedding, how many dresses Gwen had, how Blake built a tiny chapel just so he could marry her there, the ring, the guests, the ranch...
But what people don't seem to be discussing is that Gwen probably has only a few years (if history is to be our guide) before Blake meets yet another platinum blonde and cheats on her as well. Most people seem to know how the couple met, but it seems like very few people care one way or the other, and their opinions of Blake and how often he cheats, seem untarnished despite his actions. Blake's track record goes like this:
* Married Kaynette Williams 2003
* Cheated on Kaynette with Miranda while working with Miranda
* Divorced Kaynette 2006
* Married Miranda Lambert 2011
* Cheated on Miranda with Gwen while working with Gwen
* Divorced Miranda 2015
* Married Gwen Stefani 2021
Look, I honestly don't give a darn about Blake Shelton one way or the other, I'm not a fan of his, and I'm not the type to follow Hollywood relationships and gossip, however since this has been in the news lately, I thought it might be a good topic to bring up for general discussion.
All of us know the media is obsessed with infidelity. You can't watch a drama, a soap or even a comedy without the storyline heading in that direction at some point. In fact, shortly after D-day, my wife and I were watching Chopped on the Food Network and one of the chefs started talking about how they just cheated on their spouse... it's a cooking show for goodness sake!
I'm not about to suggest that social media "caused" anyone to cheat, but I do think it has an influence on how we (as a society) view infidelity as a whole, how we respond to it, and what our expectations are. I believe that many active WS's subconsciously feel that what they are doing just "isn't that big of a deal", and one of the reasons they often feel that way, is because that seems to be society's view of cheating. No one blinks an eye when people get divorced anymore, now we don't blink for infidelity either.
What is frustrating is that most of this media exposure paints infidelity in a very, very, trivial manner. Often the issue is merely glossed over and forgotten within moments. In almost all cases, the amount of damage done seems minimized and trivialized, and then fixed with a simple "I'm sorry, I fucked up, forgive me?" at which point the entire incident is forgotten and never mentioned again. Or people simply divorce and move on, as seemingly easily as changing an outfit.
I realize that we probably can't change the media. Sure, we can choose to not watch those shows, but let's face it, the reason it is one of the most common scenarios on TV is that it sells, and as long as it sells, they will keep portraying it at every chance they get.
So what does that leave us with?
Well, we can be influencers too.
When the topic comes up and others are around, we can add a point of view to the conversation. We can point out how devastating this is in real life. We can talk about how it affects the kids long term, and can damage their ability to have a healthy relationship themselves. We can share how unrealistic it is to think that this is something minor, or something that "a good cry, followed by dinner and flowers then make-up sex" is going to fix. We can point out how it robs the other spouse of their choice, and how it destroys our own dignity. We can be anything other than silent.
I'm just curious how others feel about this? Have you ever had a chance to say something to another person before they did something they will regret? Do you think there is more we can do together to get the message out to others before they go down the road we did? Can we paint infidelity with a brush that exposes what it really is? Not a TV plotline, but more like an emotional bomb going off?
How can we be part of a greater solution?