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Serendipity and sorting relationships, any advice?

BobPar posted 1/5/2021 14:06 PM

I'm not sure how much of a lead up to write...

I've been on a few dates with one woman and she is very nice. Pretty, kind, elegant. I'm curious about her but I'm not sure.

Another was a co-worker that is now working somewhere else and all other coworkers are saying we should date. We worked together for 4.5yrs during a lot of my XWW affairs and my dealing with it. We had great banter, she's pretty, and we know each other really well. But she has a cat (I'm allergic) and a young son. I'm curious but not sure. My daughter said I should date this woman and my XWW had believed I was dating her early in our separation and the XWW said she approved because she'd be nice to our kids (I totally didn't because of work place rules). My kids are late teens. We recently went for a walk and text here and there throughout the week.

What does a normal connection look like? What does it not look like? None of these are that.

Also, I sent an archeological link to a woman who I had dated last summer. Last summer, she was going through a stressful time with selling a house, getting her resistant son to move out, and she had just gotten out of a year long relationship and there were attachments she hadn't worked through. We parted amicably but sadly for me.
She responded to my link, where I thought I would just leave it as an "enjoy, from a fellow nerd", and we ended up texting for an hour. At that point, she said she was tired and I wasn't sure to read it as her long day of work or announcing an end to the conversation. I asked if I should let her go? Usually at the time we were talking she'd be getting ready for bed but we texted another hour and I expected her to say "yes". We continued to text for another hour.
I feel we connect well and it feels like there may be some interest on her part. Hard to know for sure. Do I leave it for her to text? Or do I follow up later this week?

HalfTime2017 posted 1/5/2021 15:58 PM

BobPar, don't overthink this shit man. You've got 3 women that are potentials. That sounds like a good thing to me.

Try them out, its okay. You are not married of tied down. Its dating. That is my advice. Date them, and you will see which one is the best fit. On the one from last year, just send her a text like this:

"Hey ABC chick, I hope you enjoyed that nerd article I sent you. Enjoyed talking to you"

See if she responds and how. If shes responding, and not just about the archeology, send a flirty text. Something like, "you're such a cute nerd" or "there aint many pretty ladies like you that enjoy archeology" and see how she responds. If she responds positively, than you can ask her out again, if not then focus on the other two.

Good luck brotha

Tallgirl posted 1/5/2021 21:00 PM

Follow up with her. Donít over think it.

Karmafan posted 1/6/2021 12:50 PM

Re. the co-worker, Iíd be very careful. You are good friends, understand each other, have banter, she has got your daughterís seal of approval, however, if you donít have any romantic feelings for her, I would leave that well alone. It would be such a shame to lose a nice friendship over a half-baked attempt at romance.....

The other two...hell yes. What have you got to lose? You are both adults and you know the score.

[This message edited by Karmafan at 12:51 PM, January 6th (Wednesday)]

BobPar posted 1/6/2021 17:35 PM

Thanks HalfTime2017, Tallgirl and Karmafan.

I think I will touch base again later this month and keep it on a friend level until I get a better gauge on things.

Karmafan, I agree with your opinion about the risk of messing up a friendship.

Thank you for your thoughts.

twicefooled posted 1/9/2021 10:31 AM

Sounds like a great way to start 2021!

I posted last summer about my adventures with multi-dating. I was upfront with all of them (plus it's covid season so for me it made it super easy to keep things really casual on dates - they were all outdoors, no kissing or holding hands or warding off unwanted advances)

I'm now seeing the gentleman that rose above all others. I wasn't physically attracted to him at first, but we have the same soul/sense of humour/parenting styles/goals for the future/nerdy interests AND he makes me feel safe. I absolutely adore him and I bet that if I didn't keep dating until I felt he was "the one" then I would have let him pass me by.

Have fun :)

BobPar posted 1/11/2021 13:40 PM

I bet that if I didn't keep dating until I felt he was "the one" then I would have let him pass me by.

Thanks twicefooled, this type of thought keeps going through my mind.

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