This must have been a horrible weekend for you, but well done for taking a firm stand to regain control of your life from someone who felt entitled to derail not only your life, but also the lives of your children.
Well done also for going and talking to her parents. Yes, people will always say that blood is thicker than water, and a family will always support a wayward spouse if they are related to them, but it sounds like your in-laws have a good sense of what is right.
Your father-in-law's statement indicates that he has his head screwed on properly, and that he is not going to support wrong-doing. However, do not count on that; informing the in-laws was a necessary stage in your journey out of infidelity, and it has been done.
How your in-laws relate to your wife long-term is basically irrelevant. In the short-term, it sounds like your wife is not going to find much approval from her parents, and that will help her to withdraw her head from her behind.
The wife to say she was blind sided by my demands would not do it justice. She continued to try to deflect & negotiate on the timeline & texts demands. I told her you don't understand it is either this are all conversations are finished you have no control of this.
Remember this: your steadfastness and refusal to negotiate is the best guarantee of either saving he marriage, or ensuring that you are not sold a tanker full of snake oil as your wife tries to preserve and continue her affair.
It sounds like your wife thought she had the freedom to wistfully ponder whether or not she felt a 'spark', and who she felt it for, but your firm and decisive action has proven to her that if she snoozes, she loses.
And that 'spark' thing? I think it is possible that you have been such a good and thoughtful husband, father, provider, etc, throughout the relationship that your wife has come to take you for granted. As if all the good things you have done for her are not special, but simply what she is entitled to. And that complacent entitlement has led her 'spark' to dim.
A by-product of you standing up for yourself and taking no crap is that you are going to change your wife's lazy perceptions of you.
Whatever happens, she is going to know you are not someone to mess with, or who is going to just roll over and play dead. And when she reappraises you, she is not going to be taking anything for granted, which increases the value of your stock if the marriage is going to continue.
Whatever sloppy assumptions led her to think that having a husband with all the qualities she described to her sister was not good enough for a precious princess like her are going to be turned on their head when she starts running to try and prove that she is good enough for you to consider keeping her in your life.
This is not about punishing her; it is about regaining control of your life and destiny. And ensuring that if you do continue in the marriage, there will be no more assumptions on your wife's part that she can do whatever she likes or treat you in a high-handed manner and get away with it unchallenged.
And in case anyone thinks this is some kind of 'red pill' sermon about keeping the little woman in order, I wholeheartedly recommend women with unfaithful husbands or boyfriends taking a similar 'no nonsense' 'who do you think you are dealing with?' approach to the men in their lives.
CM70, remove the guarantees that have allowed your wife to develop a sense that she is a permanent fixture, regardless of what she does. Replace it with the message that you will be with her as long as you want to be, and as long as she does not abuse you.
Personally, I would let her know that she can move out whenever she likes, because you know and we know that she has (and never had) any intention of going anywhere else.
She is nothing more than a complacent, selfish cake-eater who thought she could have a great husband as the solid foundation of her life, and some piece of Sh*t she barely knows as her fantasy man. Sparky. A guy who had to do little more than talk a load of BS to become Superman in her deluded perception.
And you know what? Do you think that Sparky would be celebrating if your wife dumped you and the kids to move in with him, and let him support her in the same way that you support her? The wheels would fall off that wagon so fast it would make your head spin.
And then your wife would be back on your doorstep, pleading to be let back in because she had reconsidered things and decided that in actual fact she loved you all the time, and the whole thing had been one big mistake and clerical error and can't we just let bygones be bygones?
The truth of this painful situation is that you hold all of the cards, and your actions over the weekend have started to make it clear to your wife that you are reclaiming control of your destiny. She is probably only now realizing how thin the ice under feet is.
If you really want to test her, offer to help her pack her things and then drive her and all her junk over to Sparky's house. See how enthusiastic she is about that.