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Zugzwang

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DaddyDom posted 12/15/2020 17:56 PM

Just curious if anyone has heard from him? His inbox is full. If anyone happens to keep in touch with him, please just tell him I was asking about him, and really appreciate all he did to help me. Zug is a very straight shooter. He never told me what I wanted to hear, only what I needed to understand. I could have built a house from all the 2x4's he threw at me, and I am grateful for every single one of them. I hope he and his wife continue to do well.

Thanks

HellFire posted 12/15/2020 18:01 PM

It has been several months since he messaged me, and even longer since he posted.

I hope he is well,and just taking a break. SI needs people like him. He had no problem being blunt, and telling people the truth, whether they liked it or not.

[This message edited by HellFire at 6:01 PM, December 15th (Tuesday)]

DaddyDom posted 12/15/2020 18:44 PM

Thank you Hellfire. :)

gmc94 posted 12/15/2020 18:51 PM

thanks for posting this DD. MANY times this year I've thought about him and posting if he's OK, and then see he's logged in relatively recently (I don't think it was ever more than a couple of weeks) and leave it go. But today I see it's been more than a month :(

I truly hope he's OK, seeing this stuff can feel icky "normal" times.... in a pandemic when the death (vs infection) is infiltrating all aspects of our lives (or at least mine), it can send my head into worry.

DaddyDom posted 12/15/2020 19:14 PM

Thanks GMC. Yes, I agree, it's scary these days. And we need older, experienced WS's to help guide the newer folks. It's never easy to do. Zug was good at it though, in my opinion anyway.

Hopefully he is just happy and living his life with his wife, God bless. The ultimate goal of SI is to no longer need SI. :)

landclark posted 12/15/2020 19:40 PM

I was just thinking about him the other day. The last time he posted was to my WH. I hope hes ok. I really appreciate his insight.

foreverlabeled posted 12/16/2020 10:10 AM

Count me in on thinking about Zug as of late.

Hoping the best. And he is certainly missed!

Wool94 posted 12/16/2020 13:08 PM

Yep. I loved messaging him and getting his perspective on things. Count me in as praying he's doing well.

hopefull77 posted 12/18/2020 06:52 AM

His wife was also a member ...I can't remember her username...

jb3199 posted 12/18/2020 07:16 AM

hopefulmother

DaddyDom posted 12/18/2020 07:35 AM

That's right, thank you. I reached out to her via PM since her inbox isn't full.

gmc94 posted 1/7/2021 16:39 PM

Was thinking about Zug today .... he's not been on since Nov.

DD- I assume you got no reply to our reach out to his BW?


Wherever you are Zugzwang, I hope you are well and thriving.

DaddyDom posted 1/8/2021 08:52 AM

Hi GMC, yes that's correct, I wrote to his BW but did not hear from her either. That's okay, I'm sure they are living their lives. I just wish them well.

SadieMae posted 1/8/2021 09:29 AM

I hope they are doing well, too.

I miss his voice on this site.

hikingout posted 2/9/2021 15:06 PM

I am bumping this in case he just wasn't reading over the holidays. Zug, if you are reading - check in!

gmc94 posted 4/14/2021 14:54 PM

Was just looking at an older thread and saw a post by Zug.

Wherever you are, I miss your insight here on SI and pray that you are alive and well and happy.

Godspeed to you, Zug.

HellFire posted 4/14/2021 15:05 PM

I'm honestly worried.

I hope you are doing well, my friend. You are missed!

gmc94 posted 4/14/2021 15:38 PM

I have been worried about him too, Hellfire.

Zugzwang posted 4/16/2021 11:21 AM

Guys, so sorry.

I did just get busy. With Covid and running a store. Kids being home schooled. Computer being used most of the time between my wife and two kids. My own usage of it and phone for everything that had to be virtual or zoom. The last thing I wanted was more digital time spent.

Things have been great. Just busy. Covid kept us all busy. We had a lot of deaths in the family. My mom died late summer of kidney failure due to her Lupus. My wife's stepfather and father both fighting the same cancer. Her stepfather of 35+ years died several weeks ago. Good guy, hit the family hard. As anyone knows death goes beyond the funeral. Throw Covid restrictions in the mix and it is time consuming. It takes up time dealing with financials and homes being cleared out. We also lost several Uncle's and an Aunt. Hearth problems and Covid related. Last living grandfather on her stepfather's side due to Covid a week before her stepdad died. Just crazy stuff.

A lot going on and I just wanted to throw what spear time I had with my family. Covid and deaths, took up the time I would have had here to post.

When I last posted there was a bigger shift to new waywards needing more compassion and empathy..nothing wrong with that.. just less straight forward accountability (my approach). So, I began to post less and let the ones with softer approaches do their thing. I began to think it was a more generational thing. To tell you truth it just got too victimhood feeling and less accountability for me.

Getting to why I logged on today. My sister-in-law just found out the day before Easter her BF of three years was cheating on her. Blew us out of the water. I have been spending the last week helping my wife to support her in recovery. Assuring her nothing is her fault and helping her to understand who and what waywards are. We directed her here, not sure if she shows up or not. Her ex decided to stay with his AP and she is throwing it in her face. It is ugly. Turns out he had taken the AP on a vacation to Mexico my sister-in-law couldn't get time off for because she had no days off (took other vacations with him and has had false quarantine due to him and subsequently a few months later got Covid). Since, she couldn't go..he took his AP. AP believes his lies that my sister-in-law was an ex he is just being nice to (even in the face of pictures) even with the fact that the AP hasn't met his friends or family since they have been together. Made me think how many APs fool themselves into believing they aren't an "other" when they are isolated from their APs life. AP broke the news to my sister-in-law via FBM the day before Easter. Classy. Sister-in-law was to have Easter dinner with his family. sister-in-law did break it off with her BF, even when he was trying to cover his tracks and gaslight her. Good for her.

Thanks for the concern and well wishes. My family is great. Relationship is stronger than it has ever been. We just put in a projector movie system in the basement to add some more family time. Godzilla looked great there. Not sure if we will ever go back to a theater again. Took a lot of time outside and grilling over the summer. Hiking, parks, and probably everything most of you did too over the summer. It felt good to just get off the grid if I didn't have to be on for work. Too much ugliness with Covid, Humanity movements, and politics. Decided to just look inward to my family. I am sure with the crew left here, SI had some good support from you.

Zugzwang posted 4/16/2021 11:25 AM

Wife is Hopefulmother. Not sure if she has logged on at all. She is a teacher if you remember. Spending any time on social media wasn't happening with her. You can imagine how hard teaching got over the spring and school year. She isn't tech savy and hates computers/zoom and the whole gambit. She does mentor other couples though and passes her knowledge and experience forward. I think the only times she might have reached out is if I had a wayward message me to have her reach out to their BS or a BS asked for her specifically.

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