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Creating new memories

Phoenix1 posted 12/13/2020 20:42 PM

* Posting as a member*

I've posted often over the years about how important creating new memories has been for me. This has usually involved traveling to previously tainted locations to create a new, happy memory in order to reclaim that particular trip and/or location.

However, I was recently presented with one such opportunity and I had to put my foot down with an absolute no. Allow me to explain.

My oldest DD's BFF is currently visiting from our old state. I've known her since the girls went to preschool together. As is typical, I demanded that I get to visit with her at least once while she is here. So, we planned to meet up for dinner.

To fill in more background, BFF's mother was one of Xhole's OW. They hooked up and started their sordid A while planning a joint Sweet 16 birthday pool party for the girls. I had moved to our new state (job opportunity suddenly came up), and Xhole stayed behind with the kids so they could finish the school year and DD could have her birthday party. Alas, when the cat's away, the dirty, immoral mouse will play.

Fast forward to our dinner. We started talking about both of them turning 30 next year (and how old they were making me feel), and DD had this brilliant idea to have a "do-over" of their Sweet 16 party, since the memories are tainted with the A (which they both fully know about, hence the tainted memories for them). BFF jumped on board and thought it was a great idea to reclaim the memory. I was about to jump in with encouragement, until she said it.

Keep in mind we talk very openly, and joke about everything (including the A) so this was intended purely as a joke.

BFF said that since this party would be all about a "do-over," this time instead of her mother and DD's father hooking up, it should be me and BFF's father hooking up to even the score, and she would call her dad (he's divorced, too) and get him on board!

Oh, the two of them cackled and howled at their cleverness! I told them (all part of the good humor) if they didn't stop I was going to reach over the table and swat them upside their heads.

Then I had to lay down boundaries and told them that I would do just about anything for either, but banging her father for the sake of recreating memories was not an option.

Seriously, it was funnier than hell and the three of us were dying from laughter.

But that's when I learned there were limits to what I will do to reclaim memories. Kids...

thebighurt posted 12/13/2020 21:47 PM

It's great that you call talk so openly with them, Phoenix1. Leave it to kids to come up with that plan. Ok, so did a party happen to reclaim the event? One other than as they planned it, that is.

My DS and W brought up a situation from my past with xpos several years ago in response to something I had told them. I held my breath a second because I had not been able to mention many subjects or situations to my kids due to the actions of xpos. (Many things he spoiled are still taboo to all of them.) But they both laughed loudly and looked at me. That told me that at least that topic was no longer forbidden, but was really now okay to talk and even laugh about and I joined them laughing heartily and appreciated them for that moment.

WhoTheBleep posted 12/14/2020 07:35 AM

Well now hold on a minute, Phoenix. This man is single. I'm guessing you are still single as well. Let's think about this. Placing revenge aside, as I know that's not how you roll, is this man cute?

newlife03 posted 12/15/2020 10:48 AM

Placing revenge aside, as I know that's not how you roll, is this man cute?

I was wondering that too...if it's not revenge and he's worth pursuing, why not? Unless you think being with him will always be a reminder of your past, then it won't work. Unless you can put all that aside and have a little fun!

Phoenix1 posted 12/15/2020 13:28 PM

Well, for starters, he's thousands of miles away!! Additionally, mice guy but totally not my type. 😊

BrokenheartedUK posted 12/16/2020 17:13 PM

That's hilarious. My kids and I are exactly the same about being open and the dark humor that follows.

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