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Quick update.... and thanks to everyone here....

FlipFlopFlamingo posted 9/16/2020 09:38 AM

I have posted here a few times over the past year and have really gained a lot of insight and am extremely appreciative of the wisdom here.

Shortly after the finalization of my divorce early this year, I met a woman that was seemingly perfect for me. I was only looking to date casually and was not looking for any long-term commitment, but she was definitely stuck in my head. Due to the end of my marriage and my lack of trust in myself, I have navigated everything as cautiously as possible. I got a lot of good advice on here about rebound relationships, red and yellow flags to be on the lookout for, and realistic expectations as to whether our lives, values, and morals were really as strongly aligned as it seems.

Well.... it turns out that she really is great. We have been seeing each other exclusively for almost 6 months now and we are starting to talk about introducing her to my kids. I am still very protective of them and she understands and supports my decision to be slow and methodical with regard to their involvement in our relationship. I am continuing therapy, work is going well, and I am seeing the potential to be happy in developing this relationship further.

My guard rails remain up somewhat. I am not moving quickly towards marriage, cohabitation, or anything like that. But I am getting more comfortable with the idea that I could be in the beginning stages of a loving, long-term, relationship that brings a lot of fun, excitement, trust, and positivity to my life that I have been missing for a very long time (even longer than I realized before the shit storm hit my life last year).

Anyway... not really sure what the point of this post is other than to say thank you to everyone that takes the time to talk to strangers on this site and provide your insight and advice. I also want to encourage others to really know that the dark periods pass. I still have some days that aren't great. But I never would have thought, at this time last year, that I would be so positive, that my kids would be doing so well, and that I would be looking towards such a bright future.

Thanks and blessings to everyone, and keep moving forward.....

HalfTime2017 posted 9/16/2020 11:17 AM

Good for you FFF. That was pretty quick that you found new love. With the kids, I waited for just over a yr to introduce them to my GF. I would suggest that if you are going to introduce them, to slowly discuss the idea with them first. Talk them thru it for a few weeks. With kids, it will peek their interest and before you know it, they can't wait to meet this new person. Its always best to take things slow at this time.

Good luck to you

FlipFlopFlamingo posted 9/16/2020 13:08 PM

Thanks... and I agree completely. It was much quicker than I expected (or really wanted, to be honest). Early in this relationship I was having drinks with my dad and discussing things. He told me that I shouldn't pass up on a good thing just because it didn't fit my timeline. I have always had a plan, and we see just how that worked out.

I am not going to introduce her to my kids quickly in any way (that is what my XWW did with her super quick relationship). My plan is to get myself ready for it, talk to my kids about her and let them get accustomed to the idea, and allow them to determine the path that her integration into our family unit will ultimately take. Even if she meets them, I am intent on taking things slow and making sure that they are my first priority (as they always will be).

I have noticed a lot of very positive posts on this site recently. I find it interesting that during this pandemic and slowdown, a lot of people are really finding an opportunity to work on themselves and focus on their relationships and personal development if they want to. Many of my acquaintances that are not putting in the work and are not in a positive personal place are really struggling. On the other hand, a lot of people with their priorities in order and a focus on getting themselves in order are thriving and are happy on a personal level to an extent that they didn't think was possible.

NeverTwice posted 9/16/2020 13:16 PM

I am SO glad to hear you have met someone who seems truly special! That is so awesome!

Really wishing you the very best in your new journey!

BearlyBreathing posted 9/16/2020 21:03 PM

Great update! Sending best wishes to you, FFF!

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