Good morning ladies! Skeeter, tell us about the camping!
This morning the sun came streaming in through the glass door to my sunporch, cheering me up..making me want to get something done! But as soon as my feet hit the hardwood floor, what that sunshine highlighted is...greyish dog paw prints all over the hardwood floor, from here down the hall to the kitchen. So typical. Soon as I've cleaned the house, the dogs will be let loose by You-Know-Who, right after he has watched one of them run off leash and chase a deer into the next cornfield, say. All the fields around here are former orchard land, so the dirt has chemicals in it - like arsenic and lead...last night, he reported it was the 7 year old German Shepherd girl who ran off while he was walking them. The old dog used to do it sometimes, too, but nowadays, he knows he can't catch a deer and is too creaky to gallop away like that. (These kind of badly-trained working breeds tune out "Come Here" when they are in hot pursuit! We have done 2 courses of obedience training with her, but no reward we can offer competes with this kind of chase "fun!")
What has always annoyed me about this, is how this adult teenage man-child knows very well that the dogs he walked will have mud on their feet, yet it totally doesn't bother him that they are coming back into a clean house. He doesn't make the simplest connection between their actions and the consequences within a home that he "lives" in. Worse, the cleaner I keep the house, the more it seems he allows this sort of dog rampage through my house. (Maybe it happens a lot of other times too, but I just turn my eyes away, in defeat.)
Another example of what feels like Passive Aggression, but is probably freakin' cluelessness, is how he save his newspapers in the top bin of a stack of wrought iron bins I gave him for next to his easy chair, to contain his magazine and newspaper mess. (He used to dump them on the floor!) As he can't part with his car magazines and might want to re-read an article in the newspaper, he says, he lets all 3 bins fill up to overflowing. The kitchen is a commercial one, with stainless 3 compartment sink and drainboards (counters) and a 42 gallon commercial kitchen trash can sits under one of the sink drainboards. It never fails that as soon as I pull out the full trash can (he never notices when it's filling up) and change out the $ .50 a piece plastic can liner, I come back from taking the trash to the truck to haul to the dump site, and see that he has just decided to "have a clean out," too. I find a couple weeks worth of newspapers in the new, empty kitchen trash can...filling it almost a third of the way full, again. If he didn't notice the full trash can, how is it that he noticed the empty one and that told him to fill it? What is going on in that brain of his....
(Freud had a theory....it was called Anal Explosive, versus Anal Retentive temperament. Where Anal Retentives hoard, the Anal Explosive temperament will make messes! Supposedly Freud thought it develops from a baby who was excessively rewarded for his messy diaper with attention from Mummy. Or maybe it was the only attention the baby got.) So applying learning theory to Freud's theory, we can say that:
More poop > more attention > better consequences for baby!
Also from learning theory:
I clean the house > SAWH drags something into the house or dumps his stuff anywhere > I feel like cleaning always leads to more mess > I eventually stop cleaning!
Soon as he walks back in my house from making the big bucks, Mr. Dog-Walker will be handed a damp mop, since the ghostly dog paw prints already dried and wouldn't vacuum up. Besides, the dirt is contaminated so it shouldn't be disturbed by a vacuum, I was told by an environmental consultant when we bought this farm. Dogs will be dogs, I realize. But why doesn't he think to just quick-leash them at the kitchen door, where we have mats for that purpose and we have a 4 foot leash tied to the wall, then use the old bath towels hanging right there on a quilt rack, just for such doggy messes as he has to know will happen? Especially when it has rained and there's mud everywhere they walk. I think he just doesn't give a s###. This is what IHS still involves...which makes me think real hard so often about changing my life! (If he were at least a civilized house guest, it would make this much more tolerable.)
Thanks for "listening" to me, I know you will understand.
P.S. As I finished this, he came back from a customer's with a breakfast taco for each of us...that customer owns a nearby butcher shop, food production and distribution warehouse, and once again, I'm humbled by He Who Brings Home The Bacon - literally, in this instance! Still, I casually told him he had a little job to do, and pointed at the floor. Well, he damp mopped the paw prints while I chowed down on the tasty taco. Why do I feel that little twinge of guilt, ladies?
So I think I'll walk down to my barn and try to help get "his" shop space decluttered! It's my space, it needs to meet some safety standards, and the big reason is that next week, his former boss will be driving 100 miles out here, bringing a transmission out of a multi-million-dollar collector car for him to rebuild, 5 years after he was laid off from his well-paid job down in the city. So it's a great potential future business arrangement for him, and I know a business' first impressions are so important. Despite his great mechanical talents they are counting on, they don't know how terribly cluttered he keeps his workspace, it's just like he lives. Hey, at least he's consistent...
So me cleaning "his" shop now, after this vent, perhaps looks co-Dependent to you all. Ok,guilty! But I tell myself it's more like a symbiotic relationship...he operates his business here, he gets $, he buys me breakfast....right? Or how else to deal.....?
[This message edited by Superesse at 10:15 AM, October 21st (Wednesday)]