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The closest I will ever have to an apology

HappyTree posted 8/20/2020 11:27 AM

So, I was on the phone with my narcissistic ex last week and he said to me "you are just mad about what happened 4 years ago." Now being on this board has taught me that when a narcissist puts you down, its how they feel about themselves. So by my ex saying that I'm just mad about 4 years ago, what he means is that he is mad about 4 years ago. He is learning that he mad a very bad choice.

My reaction was to start laughing at him. Like, I couldn't help myself but laugh. I'm now with a man who treats me well. He has his PhD, was a college professor at an ivy league before being a stay at home dad for a year. I've done so many things that my ex would never allowed me to do (traveled solo, fixed a vintage camper, gone to a crap ton of music festivals, learned how to fire hula hoop, tattoos, piercings). Yes, that situation sucked, but my life is drastically better now! And my ex still regrets his actions.

Like I said, this is the closest my ex will ever be to actually apologizing for what he did. Yet he doesn't even realize what he actually said to me! Life is so much more better now that I know how to interpret his words!

JanaGreen posted 8/20/2020 12:25 PM

It's crazy how consistently they project like that! I'm glad you are so much happier now!

phmh posted 8/20/2020 18:31 PM

So true. So crazy. Can you believe we put up with that for so many years? so happy your life is so much better now and you won't fall for his B.S.!

BearlyBreathing posted 8/20/2020 23:24 PM

Love this!

J707 posted 8/21/2020 09:01 AM

Interesting. Earlier this year I had to text my ex narc about financial payments she didn't make or was late on. She erupted about how it's been 3 years (it was really 2 years but her affair started 3 years ago but the affair never happened) and how I'm mad still and hold onto hatred and anger. Just a reflection of herself projecting onto me. They're like a brand new shiny car with no engine inside, useless and hollow.

LadyG posted 8/26/2020 03:10 AM

They're like a brand new shiny car with no engine inside, useless and hollow.
the Narc never fails to be predictable. My STBX fought me for custody of the Porsche so I offered him the car and my own, both which I paid for but he doesn’t Want them any more. He now wants a new model.

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