I need to vent. I need support and advice if you have it.
My divorce was signed by a judge on July 22nd.
We had an easy, agreed divorce. He agreed to standard visitation, and standard child support based on what Texas calculates based on his income and the number of kids.
After the divorce was final, like literally 6 days later, he decided he doesn't like paying this amount of child support. It's a high amount; 40% of net because he is paying on FIVE kids. He has mentioned a few times that he is going to "file for 50/50 so that he won't have to pay child support".
Good grief.
There are many reasons why this would be very difficult to make possible. First of all, I don't know who he thinks would be watching the kids while it's his time. 50/50, means 50/50. Not 50/50 with a free babysitter. Right now, I do nearly everything for the kids. School, doctors, clothes shopping, rides to and from school, everything. When he has them on his weekends, he will give the older one rides to work and whatnot. He even took them to get haircuts on his weekend and I INSISTED that I will pay him back when his support payments start coming through. He's already behind $1400 and his first payment was finally taken out of his check this week. He pays child support, so I expect to pay for haircuts. That's fair I think. I also insisted on paying for half of his medical support. The kids are on state health insurance so it doesn't cost me anything.
If I thought he was a great dad, I would say fine, whatever. They are his kids too obviously.
However.
He lives in an rv. 5 kids in an rv is not .... their favorite. They are already complaining about how small it is and he has only been in it for 2 months. Heck, HE complains about how small it is and how he is ready for them to go home at the end of his weekends.
He regularly has me get our 3 year old at night on his weekends because he can't handle her fussiness. I have this documented. The last time he asked me to come get her she told me "Daddy yelled at me and threw my tablet." She just turned 3 last month.
And finally what drives me up a wall is every time he brings up 50/50, it's because he doesn't want to pay child support. He NEVER says "I miss the kids." "I can't stand being away from the kids." "Not being with the kids is killing me." None of that.
And one more point, there is a huge difference between our incomes. He is a salary employee. I am a self employed work at home mom. I make about $20k while he makes $75k. Our incomes after child support are almost even. But I pay for everything for the kids and do almost everything with/for them. Even if we DID have 50/50, he would still pay a good chunk in child support.
For example, this week our oldest son started in a new school. I was the one who went to the school and helped him get his schedule set. When I found out they weren't awarding him enough credits from his last school, I was the one who spent hours emailing, calling, and researching to get him the additional 3 credits awarded to him that the school MISSED. I did that. And took time that I could have been working to do it. I took the day off work on Monday to take him to his orthodontist appointment. (Before you come at me, it's over an hour drive away, and I did still work an evening shift that night.) I could go on and on.
I honestly don't know what he's thinking. He doesn't work in the same town in which we live. He would not be able to get the kids to school on time and make it to work on time. They would have to ride the bus which in itself isn't a huge deal, but our youngest would have to go to daycare when he had her. Hey, genius, do you think that's free? Because if my child support is less or goes away then I have to work more, which is fine but that means I'm no longer available to care for her on his days. Plus, when our youngest starts Pre-K next year, she can't ride the bus. She would be too young. Also too young to stay at home alone with her older brothers. So he would have to pay for the special bus to take her to daycare after school and don't ask me how she would even get there in the mornings.
He seriously doesn't think anything through. He has less money than he used to so, wah wah wah. Our monthly bills are pretty much the same, and incomes after child support is paid/received except I pay a lot more in food, I buy clothes and entertainment for the kids, I take them everywhere and do more with the same amount of *&^%&^*^&*&^ money but he is the victim here for sure. I paid for the summer pool pass FOR ALL OF US this summer, INCLUDING HIS SUMMER PASS.
It's not about the money. I mean, a *little bit* but I am not afraid to work and I would get by even if I wasn't getting any child support. However, I don't think that 50/50 custody is in the best interest of the kids, especially since he only wants them because of the child support issue. I am so frustrated.