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Multi-dating

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JanaGreen posted 8/23/2020 21:02 PM

Aww twicefooled that sounds amazing! ❤❤

twicefooled posted 8/26/2020 10:09 AM

Date #3 has been set. Saturday we are going on a road trip (1hour) to go to a Drive In and watch a new and old movie. Then probably stop at the beach to use the telescope again (I'm in love with the sky) He is taking care of all the details, told me all I need to do is show up lol.

NeverTwice posted 8/26/2020 12:02 PM

Hi twicefooled,

Your second date sounded amazing! Please update us with how date #3 went! I am a bit of a space and astronomy nut myself - I am somewhat jealous!!!

Keep having fun and who knows? Maybe this guy is Mr. Right! And maybe this is just me - but humor and intelligence are very sexy and attractive. Maybe after a while you might find your physical attraction to him will grow.

And in my experience - intelligent men and women have been the best lovers. No exceptions to that now either - for me at least.

Is he into astrophotography? Maybe we could see some pictures of your amazing skies!

Warm wishes.

[This message edited by NeverTwice at 12:03 PM, August 26th (Wednesday)]

twicefooled posted 8/27/2020 08:26 AM

He is just getting into astrophotography but one of his friends is really good at it and he's been sharing some pics with me.

I love your tagline by the way - got to see them live just last year (when we could do concerts, really missing them right now) :)

He told me last night that he runs a meme group on facebook. I'm a huge meme and pun nerd. Made me like him even more :)

twicefooled posted 8/30/2020 14:04 PM

Date #3 AND #4 success :)

Date 3 was last night, we went to the drive in. He picked me up and had flowers for me. He bought at least 10 different snack and drink items for me to choose because he didn't know what I liked and he also baked chocolate chip cookies for us. He has a mini van and made up the back for us to cuddle up and watch the movie. We were so busy chatting through the second movie that we didn't even realize that everyone else had left lol.

Date 4 was today. He volunteers at the airport as part of a flight crew and there was an event today and he invited me for a "behind the scenes" and gave me a tour of the hangar. Got to stand on the back of the trailer as he moved planes around. The nicest part of this was meeting the rest of the crew (that he's been working with since 2015). They were all very welcoming and had awesome things to say about him (and they seemed the type to give each other a hard time so it felt even more genuine).

It's safe to say there is date 5 in the near future. :)

NeverTwice posted 8/30/2020 16:34 PM

Hi twicefooled,

I love your tagline by the way - got to see them live just last year (when we could do concerts, really missing them right now) :)

First - thank you and I miss concerts so much too :-( And this is really my retirement plan. My new GF does not yet know this - I am lucky enough to own a home right on the Pacific in Panama.

I was our dream (late husband and I) retirement home. And it makes me very sad I am not going to be growing old with him there. But I am going to take her there soon - in about 6 months or so - to see if we have a long term thing going strong.

Because - if she is the one I decide to commit to long term - I want to be out of the country before or shortly after the 2020 Federal election (no politics!!!!!) for reasons. But I am also guarding myself more than a little for the time being.

Now - this should be all about you - not me!!!

This is awesome!!!

It's safe to say there is date 5 in the near future. :)

So happy for you!!! May I ask if you are finding your physical attraction growing with him any? I know that you were somewhat concerned at first.

Has his sexy intelligence won you over yet?

twicefooled posted 8/30/2020 19:30 PM

Yes, his intelligence and nurturing personality has won me over. He was like this with everyone and hangs out with some really great people (a few of them I actually knew!)

He has a sexiness that transcends just physical attraction - it's a better physical connection, chemistry (which has been hard for me to find). I'm holding off on the physical stuff for now - we did kiss and it was terrific, but I still really appreciate it that he makes his interest known without pushing. It's nice.

NeverTwice posted 8/31/2020 14:18 PM

teicefooled,

What great news - and in this case? Saying I told you so makes me genuinely happy for both of you. And go at your speed - it sounds like he wants a relationship and friendship before sex and that speaks highly of his character IMHO.

Think you have a keeper??? Sounds promising!

twicefooled posted 8/31/2020 17:29 PM

He may be a keeper. But I've also thought that the last 3 relationships were (my marriage, my 14 month relationship and my 10 month).

I'm a big believer that it takes AT LEAST a year to get a real feel for someone. I want to see how they react to all of the holidays - they were really stressful with my ex, so if we can make it through all of that THEN I will start to think he's a keeper

But for now, he has all of my dating attention. I'm no longer talking to anyone else because I'm also of the mind that I am not interested in juggling multiple relationships. Multi-dating does not equal multi-relationshipping.

BobPar posted 9/1/2020 13:47 PM

Twicefooled, It is fun to listen to your adventures. Thanks for sharing.

NeverTwice posted 9/1/2020 14:45 PM

Hi twice!,

I'm a big believer that it takes AT LEAST a year to get a real feel for someone. I want to see how they react to all of the holidays - they were really stressful with my ex, so if we can make it through all of that THEN I will start to think he's a keeper

I think we must be related somehow I may never get married again but I will not rule it out. But I we were to contemplate marriage? Gotta live together for at least a year first as well.

And, frankly, you sound a LOT like me - we think a lot alike. And time? I have plenty...not going to rush into anything (except I rushed the sex - but that turned out to be the right move anyhow!). And it sounds like you are making some very wise choices.

Please keep us updated!

On my front we are still planning our southeast Asia trip. But we are planning a nice weekend away and are going to take a 4 day weekend. Then we are flying to San Francisco and have rooms at the Fairmont Heritage Place, Ghirardelli Square. Right across from the Ghirardelli chocolates factory!!!

Then a day in Napa Valley with too much wine on Friday, a day trip to Yosemite on Saturday, Chinatown and dim sum Sunday morning! Then pack it all up and head home Monday!

But I have to admit - I am jealous of your star gazing dates on the beach. Maybe we should stay a week and finish out the trip down on the Monterey peninsula. The sunsets at Carmel By The Sea beach are ultra beautiful - and romantic!

Glad things are going so well for you! Sounds like a great start! And another successful dating story in support of multi dating!!!

twicefooled posted 9/2/2020 08:40 AM

BobPar, thanks I will continue to update my adventures :)

We were both unexpectedly kid free last Monday night so he swung by and picked me up and we drove to the beach for an icecream :)

Tonight we are also kid free so we are going to go mini golfing! Will be the last date of the week as we each have plans with our own kiddos for the long weekend but will certainly go out next week again.

We have a few friends in common so I've been reaching out to them for some intel lol. So far everything comes back as very positive, he's been described as a "hard worker, involved dad, generous spirit, teddy bear" etc.

I definitely never expected to meet someone like him, let alone during a pandemic. If all goes well we have a fun story :)

twicefooled posted 9/5/2020 09:22 AM

So I lied, we were able to hang out last night because all our kiddos were unexpectedly busy! We drove out to the nature reserve and went for a brief hike. It was a gorgeous night!

Starting to talk about more of our backgrounds. I knew the basics (his ex wife has addiction issues) but we talked in detail about our marriages, what we learned, and how we've grown.

Both of us had our exes attempt suicide when being told we are leaving, and both of our exes were actively cheating on us at the end of our marriages. We've both gone to Alanon/Naranon and therapy. We've both had our kiddos in therapy due to all of this. Both of our marriages ended in 2014. His ex went on to marry the AP while mine didn't. His ex went to rehab and seems to be doing well and is working, while mine is still active in addiction and never took the help that he was offered. We have both had 2 relationships, each lasting around a year, since leaving our marriages. We are both the oldest child of our families, and our dad's each have addiction issues of their own (his dad is an alcoholic, mine is a gambler: both our parents are still married)

I like him even more, knowing that he recognizes the power of therapy (like I do) and lives by the adage "we didn't cause it, we can't control it, we can't cure it"

His birthday is next week. Next date will be me spoiling him for a change. His love language is "acts of service" (so is mine) which makes sense about him up until now :) Now I will spend the next few days figuring out a great activity to do for his birthday :)

twicefooled posted 9/10/2020 22:33 PM

His birthday is today and I took my lunch hour to run out to him and give him his birthday gift - I got him a face mask that refers to his favorite show, he loved it!

We are both child free Saturday night. If it's a nice night, I'm going to take him to the restaurant at the beach to celebrate. If the weather isn't nice I will cook us a meal and it will be a night in.

I'm enjoying how comfortable this all feels with him. It's truly one of those connections that has continued to feel stronger each time we chat or see each other. It's not how I'm used to feeling and it's nice and scary at the same time. I like the fact that he has a similar dating history as me: we "get" each other on a bunch of levels.

I am keeping my eyes wide open and watching actions. It's still brand new and easy to be on our best behaviors. But all new journeys start with baby steps so I'm enjoying what it is and am excited to see what happens :)

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