Justsomeguy posted 5/24/2020 20:29 PM

I've been S for almost two years and I get my kids 50% of the time. I really miss them when they are not here, even though they are teen girls. The weeks I am alone, I clean up and try my best to get through the week. I'm just so tired of being on my own. I feel like I am always on. Meal planning, shopping, packing lunches, laundry, bills, everything. I know it's normal life, but sometimes, just sometimes I would like someone to share the load. Or better yet, take care of me for just a little while. Okay, more wine.

DigitalSpyder posted 5/24/2020 20:53 PM

So find someone to lighten the load?

messyleslie posted 5/24/2020 22:29 PM

I feel this way too. I’m completely on my own with three young kids, my WH comes for supervised visits once or twice a week, and it’s flipping exhausting. I used to get a babysitter once in a while and I would go sit at a coffee shop and read while she fed and put my kids to bed because I just needed a break.

Mostly I would just love someone there to chat with and download all the stuff with. It’s a lot to carry the mental load.

And my laundry is a disaster and dinners have gotten a lot simpler. But it’s okay.

Hang in there.

messyleslie posted 5/24/2020 22:33 PM

So find someone to lighten the load?

I wish it was that easy. I simply don’t have the finances to employ someone to share the load like a spouse would. Or really to even be doing stuff I can do but don’t want to do because I’m tired.

Plus we are in the middle of a global pandemic so I’m not sure how many of us are able to be hiring house cleaners and babysitters at the moment.

LadyG posted 5/25/2020 02:10 AM

Justsomeguy.

Your teen daughters will be better for the experience. I am sure people tell you that.

Having them with you 50% of the time possibly means you want to give them 200% if that’s possible.

In the 50% off times you are probably thinking about meal planning, shopping and the wonderful things that come with being a parent.

It’s wine time, where I am, so cheers. About to cook dinner for Adult sons to enjoy 🙏🏼😁

LoveTKO posted 5/26/2020 08:44 AM

I get it. I'm in the same boat. I'm still in the house with my son (just graduated college) and my Mom (temporary). Also my two dogs. I never get a break. I work full time and have to take care of everything in the house. My son also works full time and he does do most of the yard work thankfully but he will move out within a year.

I miss living with a partner but I don't miss STBXWH. I know someday this will happen. SO tired!!

And this virus lockdown doesn't help. I have a lot of friends in the local music scene. I miss going out to seem them perform and just seeing them!

I guess we both just have to give it time...

Tigersrule77 posted 5/26/2020 09:03 AM

That's interesting. I do understand missing your children, I do as well when they are at their mother's.

However, I look at the times when they are not home as my time to do whatever I want. I use those days to play golf or go the gym or go the bar with friends.

And if I don't want to clean up after dinner, I don't. I'm only responsible to myself.

I too hope to find someone to share my life with. I wish you luck.

josiep posted 5/26/2020 13:47 PM

When things get back to normal, start a Meetup group for single Dads or people who have been through infidelity. Meet once in awhile for a beer or dinner while you all chat; maybe even plan an activity such as bowling or that painting thing or something that's just fun and easy. Friendships will likely form and you'll have people to call and chat with while you're juggling everything. My DD loves talking to her friend on Facetime when they're both folding laundry and fixing dinner, it really does help lighten the load by sharing the experience with someone.

Justsomeguy posted 5/26/2020 18:53 PM

Thank you all. I'm back to work 60% of the time and 40% at home, so I am hoping that will distract me a bit. Funny, I never realized that my job was my social life.