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I hate dating...

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Cooley2here posted 1/22/2020 07:19 AM

Go off line and go to your local library, look at all the news papers from your area. They usually have interests and clubs.. In my area, which is small in population, there are hiking clubs, bowling clubs, and in the large areas are clubs for robotics. You can join a book club. Thatís how you meet people.

When someone acts as flaky as she did sheís flaky. You gave her a second chance. Donít do that. If she had been really interested she wouldíve contacted you. Who knows these days but I think we are like a hot house. We are breeding a bunch of loonies.

[This message edited by Cooley2here at 7:19 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]

WornDown posted 1/23/2020 14:25 PM

I've got plenty of stuff to do, that's not my issue.

In fact went to a concert on Fri (Sunny Sweeny/Erin Enderlin - awesome (real) country singers), and will be going to see Sturgil Simpson in Feb.

Like I said, life just isn't where/what I envisioned it 20 years ago.

I had my pity party (and I'm glad y'all showed up for it ), and am moving on.

And, yeah, the ghosting - especially when I asked her face to face, "What do you want" - is peak chickenshit behavior.

[This message edited by WornDown at 2:26 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]

Chili posted 1/23/2020 20:38 PM

t/j Sturgill!

Loves me some Sturgill. I've got tickets for March myself. And he'll be with Tyler Childers (at least here) this time around. Last time I saw him he put on a 2+ hour show. Have a ball!

WornDown posted 1/24/2020 10:54 AM

Yep, he'll be with Tyler.

Bonus - the night before Hayes Carll will be playing near by. It's going to be an awesome weekend.

EggplantGalore posted 1/25/2020 11:12 AM

WD, you are a good man. Keep doing the things you love and you will eventually meet someone who loves the same things you do. So many of us can relate, and thanks for letting us tag along here.

HeartFullOfHoles posted 1/26/2020 17:15 PM

I'll add "me to"

The disrespect in modern dating just doesn't work for me. To me respect is foundational to a solid relationship. Learning to weed quickly helps keep the emotional roller-coaster manageable, but I still tend to give people more benefit then they deserve.

Trapped74 posted 1/29/2020 16:38 PM

Just want to throw this out there: Sometimes it literally isn't safe for a woman to explicitly tell a mostly-stranger she isn't into him. Women have been stalked and killed for less.

WornDown posted 1/29/2020 21:05 PM

Just want to throw this out there: Sometimes it literally isn't safe for a woman to explicitly tell a mostly-stranger she isn't into him. Women have been stalked and killed for less.

Sorry, but thatís not any kind of reason or excuse to ghost someone youíve been dating for months.

I know where she lives. Ghosting me isnít somehow going to change that information.

Oh and when she said she wanted a break, I didnít reach out for months. Then after the concert she agreed to go to, I told her the next step was up to her - she chose to have me come to her house for dinner. And since she ghosted next a month ago I havenít tried to contact her. At all.

I gave her multiple opportunities to tell me to get lost for good. She never took it.

Ghosting me was just an act of cowardice.

HeartFullOfHoles posted 1/30/2020 00:46 AM

Trapped,

I'm trying to understand your point, but I'm having a hard time.

How does saying I'm not interested on a first date increase your risk of being staked/killed versus ghosting? Both are rejections. It's just one can be done with respect if you choose. I would assume being respectful should decrease your risk not increase it. Of course understanding the mind of someone who is mentally ill is not one of my strengths. (Clarification: I'm referring to the stalker here not you!).

To me having a blanket belief like this would be similar to me assuming all women are cheaters because some women are cheaters! Yes, I would protect myself from the rare bad apple, but I'll probably piss off many more wonderful women. Thankfully I'm not that cynical.

[This message edited by HeartFullOfHoles at 12:49 AM, January 30th (Thursday)]

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