Funny thing happened today.
As my thread indicated, and to recap. This man, my husband, was in a relationship waaaaaay before we married.
Before our 5 year wedding anniversary, I discovered that he had been with “her” for 14 years.
We met in 2008.
We married in 2013.
He’d been with her, according to my numbers, since 1999.
I had no idea. Zero.
Even after I found out, we moved out of state, which was our ultimate plan.
I stuck by, still struggling, doubtful & unsure.
Been here permanently since October 2019.
I’ve since found a primary contact provider, in our current state.
He nailed it & opened my eyes...during a two our preliminary meeting.
I connected with him.
I gave him 100% honesty.
He was shocked!
Pretty much told me, “WTF are you doing with this guy?”
This was humbling to say the least.
He told me, that I was pretty much the other woman, who he eventually married!
I NEVER looked at it like that.
Pretty eye opening!
This has been the climax of my “therapy”.
Things haven’t been right with my husband & I, for a while.
I just can’t get over this.
I didn’t marry the man whom he told me he was.
I feel like such a fool.
For some reason, there’s a block within myself, that isn’t letting me move forward with him.
Now it makes a little more sense & it was a relief to have a total stranger feel the way I do, off the bat.
It wasn’t like he took the wrong exit or even had a one night stand.
This was pre-meditated from the get go, unbeknownst to me.
I just replay all the lies, for all these years.
I’m pretty much done.
I still hurt.
However, as of today, I feel like I went from hopeless to hopeful.
I was just telling him, my cheating husband, that I’ve been waiting for a sign.
Today, I saw it.
Still plan on going forward, as much as I can, until I can find I better & happier way out.