Just so you know, massage parlour workers are prostitutes.
They sell all kinds of sex under the massage experience label.
I am not experienced in excessive porn use issues with my H (yet-who knows), but I’ve read enough here to know that it just as hurtful and damaging to a marriage.
As for feeling like you need more IC than your husband?. Remember that we have been victimized. Our world was turned upside down on DDay.
Our H’s knew full well what they were doing while we lived life naively and innocently not knowing that their bodies, hearts and souls were not with us.
Putting aside the physical betrayal, every single special moment, every challenge, every milestone, every plan for the future is now but an illusion. A pretend relationship, parenting and marriage.
Your loving and trusting nature have been raped.
He did that to you and your family. You did not.
As for this being partly your fault. Let me ask you a few questions which I bet you will answer no to:
Did you know he was doing this?
Did he warn you he would unless you changed this or did that?
Did you drive him there?
Did you give him money to go?
Did you ask him how his day was at the brothel?
All ridiculous questions to illustrate that his actions were planned, deliberate and intentional. They never imvilvedbuour permission or approval. Regardless of your marital issues at the time you never said
“Hun, were not getting along, why don’t you spend countless hours looking for a prostitute to your liking”. That will help our marriage.
Addiction or no addiction, he enjoyed what he did and thought he had a good thing going. I’m not sure how you found out but my H admits that he’d still be at it had I not found out.
For 12 years I put up with very little sex, his moodiness, irritability, impatience and unhappiness. Had no clue what he was up to. I’m sure you didn’t either.
If I want to go to IC till the cows come home, I will.
And that, my dear is my answer to your question about feeling that you need more IC. I know I do.
I’ll let you decide.