Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Before you say reconcile...Recover!

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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 10:49 PM on Tuesday, October 17th, 2017

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8001520
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runsmiley ( Member #33572) posted at 7:35 AM on Thursday, October 19th, 2017

I definitely made the mistake of jumping into R too soon and may now be paying the price, although I guess you never know how things would be different. Don't let them convince you they are the person you want them to be. I'm not sure we can work towards R this time.

posts: 76   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2011   ·   location: PA
id 8002602
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 5:34 PM on Sunday, November 19th, 2017

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8027865
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 5:30 PM on Saturday, December 2nd, 2017

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8038313
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Phoenix1 ( Moderator #38928) posted at 1:58 AM on Monday, December 11th, 2017

Bump

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 8992   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8044331
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:41 PM on Sunday, December 17th, 2017

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8049326
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brokenviking ( New Member #61746) posted at 9:35 AM on Tuesday, December 19th, 2017

Thanks - will go over this with WW but for once it feels like we've actually been doing a lot of things right.

posts: 42   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2017
id 8050578
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 12:46 AM on Thursday, January 11th, 2018

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8068258
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 10:58 PM on Sunday, January 14th, 2018

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8070874
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PeriodicZen ( Member #62223) posted at 3:25 PM on Monday, January 15th, 2018

Great post, and very good guide for recovery.

Thanks.

---------------------------
Me, BH
WW: EA/PA
DDay January 8th, 2018.

IHS

posts: 390   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2018   ·   location: Durham, NC
id 8071134
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:31 PM on Wednesday, January 31st, 2018

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8083080
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 7:47 PM on Sunday, February 4th, 2018

Bump

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8086163
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Skan ( Member #35812) posted at 12:13 AM on Saturday, February 10th, 2018

bump

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 8090783
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Skan ( Member #35812) posted at 5:07 PM on Friday, February 16th, 2018

bump

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 8096566
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 2:24 PM on Tuesday, February 20th, 2018

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8099237
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 6:48 PM on Saturday, March 3rd, 2018

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8108043
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sassylee ( Member #45766) posted at 6:41 PM on Monday, March 12th, 2018

Bump

My R(eformed)WH had a 5 month EA in 2012
In my 7th year of R
“LOVE is a commitment, not an emotion. It is a conscious act of a covenant of unconditional love. It is a mindset and a thought process.” - BigHeart2018’s Professor

posts: 11459   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2014   ·   location: 🇨🇦
id 8114006
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 6:38 PM on Wednesday, March 21st, 2018

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8120680
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sassylee ( Member #45766) posted at 9:14 PM on Monday, April 2nd, 2018

Bumped

My R(eformed)WH had a 5 month EA in 2012
In my 7th year of R
“LOVE is a commitment, not an emotion. It is a conscious act of a covenant of unconditional love. It is a mindset and a thought process.” - BigHeart2018’s Professor

posts: 11459   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2014   ·   location: 🇨🇦
id 8130112
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:15 PM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8144521
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