SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just looking for some positive stories about how your WS "got theirs" or realized later on how absolutely wrong they were.

I have a WW who swears she doesn't care about me, has a clear conscience about the ongoing A, and about the upcoming D. She is not the person I've known for 9 years.

I don't know about Karma, but I know that in general, you reap what you sow in life - and that she will regret what she's done. She's made a very short-term decision with lifelong consequences.

I believe she'll end up just as unhappy with OM as she says she has been with me, since she still carries all the same unhealed wounds.

Since I lack patience, and so many people (on SI and in my life) tell me that it will indeed catch up to her - was hoping to hear your examples of WS regrets/karma after divorce.

I am not sure they can regret it. I think some realize how good they had it before, but like you said, she is bringing all her problems with her, hoping that this way she won't have to deal with it. I know my ex is working a lot, 7 days a week, I know shelling out a check to me is probably not what he envinsioned at this stage in his life, I know he has a newborn and pretty sure he did not think he would be starting over with a new child at this stage in his life, he is not in the best of health, and now supporting 3 children. When he left me he whole thing was "I just want my freedom and want to hang out" It does not seem that that worked out either for him. I have minimal contact with ex so I don't know what his life is like, but, most days, I don't care.

I'm about as NC as I can get with my ex, so I don't hear anything about him. But the way I look at it is he chose to be with the psycho stalker bitch instead of me and his kids, and I hope the two of them get every happiness they deserve.

Seriously, even if the stupid ass hasn't figured it out yet, he already lost the most valuable thing he could have. His own children don't respect him and barely want to spend time with him. He's definitely reaping what he sowed.

I thought my ex and his OW were going to ride off into the sunset together.

At his deposition this past June, he revealed that she had been out work for more than a year and that he was supporting her and her children. Seeing that he would complain about me not making enough money, I am sure that this wasn't pretty going down.

Just found out two weeks ago that she moved out in late December/January. Apparently took all the kitchen utensils, too, as he was forced to buy all new cookware, etc.

So now he's all alone, with the dog he bought for her kids in a house that he had planned to live in with her.

Karma's a bitch.

Cat

Mine's drinking himself to death while living in his parent's basement.

It's paradise, alright.

AJ's MOM

I wish I could be more encouraging but I'm over 4 years out and don't see any signs of his "big mistake". In fact he has changed his life so much that he is not the person I was with for 24 years.

It makes me wonder if I was holding him back.

I think the life he leads now is in a way better for him than when he was with me.

And his kids? I was under the impression he valued them. He certainly acted like what I thought a father looked like before he made the desicion to leave it all behind and pursue the life of a kite surfer.

But it seems he doesn't value family at all. Loosing the kids respect doesn't matter when it is of no value to you.

I can't understand a mother doing this but in my case OW was able to do the same thing.

So while it would be nice to know that there are regrets or is karma...I'm not holding my breath.

I just hope I forget all about them one day and just don't give a shit what he thinks or feels!!!

I am not sure I would call it karma. I think it is more just consequences of very poor decisions.

When he left he started a business with his snake BIL. 3 years later snake BIL drove it into the ground.

He bought a house he could not afford (his and Countrywide's contribution to the housing collapse ). He did this to impress OW. His house went into foreclosure.

The trick with the house worked. OW M him and came to the states. The M lasted just over a year, then she split.

When he M OW, my DD was very upset. She refused to see him or talk to him. Since the end of the M she will now see him, but only when he brings her on trips. She just asked him to bring her to Jamaica

He thought I would continue to be his friend. I am in virtual NC with him and only talk to him begrudgingly when I have to.

Finally, the state CS enforcement is hounding him because he did not pay for 2 years.

What a loser!!!

Apparently took all the kitchen utensils, too, as he was forced to buy all new cookware, etc

That must have burned his butt!!!

Seriously, even if the stupid ass hasn't figured it out yet, he already lost the most valuable thing he could have. His own children don't respect him and barely want to spend time with him. He's definitely reaping what he sowed.

mine are the same although dumass hasnt figured it out just says its cause im keeping kids from him

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Mine WH is living in a room he shares with a 19 year old college student because that was all he could afford, he shares the house with 5 other guys that are bible crazy. They think the TV brings evil in to their lives so he is not allowed to have cable. They eat his food he buys, they don't clean so he said the bathroom is gross. He has to park blocks from the house in not such a great area, he has no money he went through his tax money buying engagement ring, so he has now gotten behind on every bill. His car is about to die and he owes way to much on it to trade it in. And to top it off since his one girlfriend is not even out of high school he will be going to the prom all over again He has said he misses his old life but that he does not want to work things out. Which is fine with me. he hardly sees or talks to his family because he knows they will start asking to many questions about what happen between us because he just tells them we grow apart but they know better because this is not the first time he has cheated on me. His own sister even told she does not know why I stayed with him as long as I did. Now no one from his side of the family will talk to me now either but that does not bother me. And all of his friends are college students who have no money either. He is working a lot and going to school. He has admitted that he will regrate what happen just not yet (nice huh)

[This message edited by wifebetrayal at 9:30 AM, March 19th (Saturday)]

I don't know if STBXH has regrets but he sure has a life style adjustment.

My STBXH is financially compromised, has maxed out all of his credit cards and his solution to his overbearing debt is to get more credit cards, is living with his skank in a seedy part of town in low rental housing (we had a lovely bungalow in the burbs), she has 3 kids (he never really wanted kids), he has a child from a previous relationship and he is behind in child support payments, he is selling his big ass truck (his only asset) so that he can get a more family friendly vehicle, his friends are disgusted with his behaviour and won't talk to him, his family has basically disowned him, he has restricted visitation with his son as ex #1 won't allow their son to be at the skank's residence (she doesn't think it's a good environment for their son), his son has lost respect for his dad and thinks he is an idiot (his word) for doing this to him, to me, to our families and friends, and apparently STBXH is hanging on to his job by a thread.

My WS is like yours - he has huge issues that he has carried with him since childhood. WS's think the AP will offer an escape from their pain and problems but like you said, they take their unhealed wounds with them and then they have a whole new set of issues to deal with on top of the old baggage. They will keep repeating this pattern unless they are willing to face their demons. STBXH's family and long time (now ex)friends confirmed he's run away from long term relationships many times before. Guess he's trying to outrun karma too but it keeps catching up to him.

My WW won't admit that she regrets it. It sure seems like she does sometimes. But karma wise, OM moved out of state a couple hours away and WW is living in her parents house. Been there almost 3 weeks now. She is broke and her car isn't working. It's pretty sad. I think she is just too stubborn too admit she made a mistake and still holds out hope she will end up with OM, even though he moved to be near his kids (and the woman he is still technically married to) and she won't leave this state because our son is here.

[This message edited by StillSomeHope at 8:29 PM, March 18th (Friday)]

Okay, I don't have a major karma story, or even a minor regret story, but I do have something to share!

I kicked the STBXH out of the house in the first week of February last year. Even though I knew it was the best decision I'd made in a loooooooong time, I was still wrestling with self-doubt and fear. Towards the end of February, these feelings were getting really bad...all I wanted was a sign that I was on the right track.

Well, I got one: I won some $$$ on a radio contest from out of the blue...on the same day that STBX got a speeding ticket in the mail.

Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not. I choose to think it was something else entirely.

...Nibs

My ex is certainly reaping what he has sown!

In my state (and probably others) most court records are open to the public online. Well, just out of the blue I decided to look him up and do you know what that dumbass has done!?!

1. He got into some sort of domestic dispute with his ow/girlfriend/wifey (whatever you wanna call her). He apparently when to jail for a couple of days and it says he was to have no contact with his ow. Well, they still live together so that just shows how stupid they both are!

2. Idiot got caught either driving drunk or hi on drugs. Spent another couple of days in jail and they suspended his license!

3. Being the dumbass that he is, he gets pulled over again so now he has to go back to court for OAR (Operating After Revocation).

All I can do is shake my head and

He wants to pretend he's still 18 when he'll be 40 this year. Grow the fuck up you morons!

I hope him and his whore are enjoying their so called fairytale life

He never did this kind of stuff when we were together but what should you expect when you play house with a little girl with NO expectations in life.

I'm sure this won't be the end of him doing stupid shit. Maybe he will finally wake the fuck up when he gets some REAL jail time.

edited because I can't spell today

[This message edited by hope4better at 8:39 PM, March 18th (Friday)]

If it helps you, I am a fWS. I deeply regret the devastating choices I made. When my xH discovered the A, he reprogrammed his cell phone ring tone for me to "What Goes Around Comes Around" - and maybe it does.

In the span of about three months, I lost my home, my marriage, a full-time existence with my kids, and my job when the A was outed. Some of my colleagues completely shunned me - refused to speak to me or even look at me for the six weeks I was a "dead man walking" because I knew too much about the business to just cut me out without me training my replacement. Because the D occurred just over a week BEFORE I was fired, and my xH was unemployed, my CS obligations (based on an income formula in my state) were astronomical. My credit went into the toilet. In a matter of months, I lost claim to nearly every title that I thought defined me - wife, homeowner, executive, friend in some cases - except mother. That never changed despite having less time with them. The total devastation in my life is the origin of my user name. Not all of the changes in my life at the time were a direct result of the A, but they all came simultaneously and I felt like I was standing amongst the ruins. I was standing amongst the ruins.

Anyway, I have been lower than I could have imagined possible. So yeah, some WS "get theirs" or later realize how wrong they were (or both). In all earnestness, I really hope that my experience does give you some relief that your WW may someday also understand what she's done and feel some karmic retribution, though I'm not sure my xH takes any solace from it.

My WH lives in a studio apartment, the OT (teenager) has moved out of state, he has gained back his MLC weight loss. But even if he was with her and partying it up, it would not matter. To me, just being the kind of person that can hurt and betray so selfishly, to leave a marriage without any effort to save it and keep a family together, to villianize your spouse to family and friends, to devastate your children, to be sleazy and have sex with a young troubled teen that was a student of your wife - well you are already broken. No matter how swinging their lives may seem, WSs are damaged, troubled people who have to live with their actions. My STBXWH will never feel (or admit) to regret and remorse (too PA), and will probably find a new broken woman. I'm sure one day he will seem very happy (or want me to believe he is), but he will still be living within the confines of an unexamined life. A life lacking in integrity and character. Just living and breathing that way for the rest of his life could be viewed as the ultimate karma.

I wish I could be more encouraging but I'm over 4 years out and don't see any signs of his "big mistake". In fact he has changed his life so much that he is not the person I was with for 24 years.

It makes me wonder if I was holding him back.

Word for word here, except I'm 2 years out and we were "only" together 19 years.

And his kids? I was under the impression he valued them.

But it seems he doesn't value family at all.

Word for word again. My WH badmouthed every father he ever heard of who left his kids, or even the fathers who would spend time hanging out with the guys rather than being with their kids. But suddenly when he met the OW, moving out and leaving your two young children was not a big deal.

I can't understand a mother doing this but in my case OW was able to do the same thing.

Word for word again. WH's OW seems to be more like an "aunt" to her kids and squeezes time in with them when she can't be with WH. I'll never understand how a mother could put a man - or anything actually - before her kids. Never.

So while it would be nice to know that there are regrets or is karma...I'm not holding my breath.

I just hope I forget all about them one day and just don't give a shit what he thinks or feels!!!

Yep - word for word on this too. I really hope someday I find indifference to him. But I also really hope someday I see the karma bus.

The thing is - while it's nice to think there will be some regret and karma that the WS's have to deal with, I don't think that's always the case. I think sometimes it just turns out that the WS's end up being happy in their new lives and that they don't have a ton of horrible consequences to their actions. I think this is the case for my WH and his OW - everything's going to be ok for them, while I struggle emotionally, financially, etc.

It's just not fair and it really rubs salt in the wound, but sometimes that's just the way it works out.

[This message edited by thisisterrible at 9:19 PM, March 18th (Friday)]

except mother. That never changed despite having less time with them.

Be proud of that Groundzero and stay strong.

My ex has lost the respect and any contact with his son (17) and is on the verge of losing DD (13). He still believes this is being done to him instead of realizing it is him creating the problems. I gain no satisfaction in watching his slow demise and still wish/pray/hope that he finds his way back to the right path before it is too late.

WS with huge regrets. I could go through the tangible results of my awful life now, but I think this one is the worst impact: I woke up from the fog and realized I am madly in love with my BS, just at the same time she is dumping my lame ass. To know how much pain I've caused and cannot comfort her, I would imagine I will be stuck in love with her, alone, for a long time. It is gut wrenching awfulness, the worst pain I've ever experienced. The fog kept me insulated and so I'm extra ill-equipped to handle this. What a mess. Never mind all the other stuff. THIS is the worst impact and I will regret it until the end of my pathetic life.

It took a while but my xh from my first marriage, not the current idiot, ran around with a married OW for 2 years B4 we were finally able to get a D. They were married for about 9 years B4 she started looking for a replacement.

She divorced him because she had "fallen in love" with AP.

His step daughter accused him of child abuse, which would not be true.

He Married again to a woman who stalked him after they divorced after one year.

He has since been married for a couple of years and is the process of divorce.

My DD told him she does not want to meet anymore of his wives and why doesn't he just buy each woman he meets a house and forget the marriage. Our DS hasn't spoken to him in years and other DD is estranged from him because he will not accept a biracial marriage

Yep the bus found him and just keeps coming back around. Kind of makes me smile

[This message edited by bumbed at 10:46 PM, March 18th (Friday)]