ray-ray ( member #29940) posted at 12:47 AM on Thursday, February 24th, 2011
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 3:12 PM on Saturday, February 26th, 2011
lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 2:39 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
bent44 ( member #31386) posted at 8:58 AM on Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
Many thanks from the bottom of my heart! This is now on my "favorites" tab.
"If you marry a chicken, don't expect an eagle."
I don't know if my chicken will ever become an eagle. But rest assured, I'm going to be a phoenix. Nevermind that I am still in the ashes stage of the process.
Update...he
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 12:33 PM on Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 9:31 PM on Saturday, March 5th, 2011
hurts_alot ( new member #31375) posted at 2:24 PM on Sunday, March 6th, 2011
This post was amazing, I wish I read this earlier (I'm day 7 after D-Day). Could the mods sticky this thread, as well as the others that were bumped yesterday? This would be a big help for us who just found out about the A and are looking for help.
Me - BS - 36
Her - WW - 34
Married 12 yrs.
3 kids - 9, 6, and 3
Dday - 2/26/2011
Divorcing/Separated
SabinatheOwl ( member #30023) posted at 5:30 PM on Thursday, March 10th, 2011
Details & story in profile
"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow
"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."
Maya Angelou
whensitover ( member #31207) posted at 8:32 PM on Thursday, March 10th, 2011
WOW! What a plethora of information!! SO many good things to consider-I am amazed at just how 'cookie-cutter' the wayward are! It is almost word for word and deed for deed on eveybody-My boyfriend has followed the same tracks as most of the people here! the gaslighting, the lying, the blaming, the hysterical bonding! Everything!!
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 2:01 AM on Saturday, March 12th, 2011
bump... 
hurts_alot ( new member #31375) posted at 12:05 AM on Monday, March 14th, 2011
My WW and I went to our first MC session on Thursday, and the last couple of days have been rough. I read through this thread again (I've done it a couple of times before), and there is just so much great information here. I really felt like I got "centered" again after reading this. Thanks again for compiling this thread.
One of the posts that really helped while being down in the dumps is this one. Did SerJR write it? It's a thing of beauty and inspiration, just what I needed yesterday.
Shame
You know... I felt an awful lot like a failure... I mean the hero's supposed to win the battle in the end, isn't he?
What they don't tell you is that heroes often do fail.
Did my marriage fail? Yes. Am I proud of that? No. I was awfully proud of what I had... and all of that was stripped away.
And that lead to shame... the surest measure of goals never attained.
But that shame... lead to humility. By stripping myself of all conceits I exposed the roots by which the virtues of truth, love, and courage could flourish.
I was cast into a pit of hell and the devil laughed his ass off...
And I grabbed that fucker by the horns and told him to sit down, shut the fuck up, and enjoy the show.
Heroes may fail in the task, but they never fail in themselves. The real battle was never for my marriage... it was for me all along. If I was to truly fail... it would have been my doing. No way was that gonna happen.
Character isn't defined by what's happened to a person. It's defined by the choices a person makes.
So go ahead and throw me a label... cast me off into that pit. But I've gone over the edge and come back again. Go ahead and label me... the only ones that matter anyway are the ones I ascribe to myself... and I refuse to limit my potential. And besides... that label might come in handy to wipe my mouth after I eat the devil's lunch on him.
[This message edited by hurts_alot at 6:08 PM, March 13th (Sunday)]
Me - BS - 36
Her - WW - 34
Married 12 yrs.
3 kids - 9, 6, and 3
Dday - 2/26/2011
Divorcing/Separated
annb ( member #22386) posted at 7:54 PM on Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
bump. 
Rise_Above ( member #23674) posted at 4:20 PM on Saturday, March 19th, 2011
You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli
*****
God's hand was an avocado branch
fourever ( member #30631) posted at 12:03 AM on Monday, March 21st, 2011
In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.
Always, tell the other BS! Always!
"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!
annb ( member #22386) posted at 4:23 AM on Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
bumpety bump
annb ( member #22386) posted at 9:11 PM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 2:29 PM on Monday, March 28th, 2011
annb ( member #22386) posted at 11:53 PM on Tuesday, March 29th, 2011
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 6:28 AM on Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
Rise_Above ( member #23674) posted at 10:36 PM on Tuesday, April 5th, 2011
You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli
*****
God's hand was an avocado branch
