Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Great Posts for Newbies to Read

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ray-ray ( Member #29940) posted at 12:47 AM on Thursday, February 24th, 2011

b

So many roads

posts: 777   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2010
id 5096351
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 3:12 PM on Saturday, February 26th, 2011

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5101031
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 2:39 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5105449
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bent44 ( Member #31386) posted at 8:58 AM on Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Many thanks from the bottom of my heart! This is now on my "favorites" tab.

"If you marry a chicken, don't expect an eagle."


I don't know if my chicken will ever become an eagle. But rest assured, I'm going to be a phoenix. Nevermind that I am still in the ashes stage of the process.

Update...he

posts: 733   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2011   ·   location: California
id 5110523
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Cee64D ( Member #21836) posted at 12:33 PM on Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

posts: 2740   ·   registered: Nov. 30th, 2008   ·   location: Ohio
id 5110611
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 9:31 PM on Saturday, March 5th, 2011

bump

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5115530
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hurts_alot ( New Member #31375) posted at 2:24 PM on Sunday, March 6th, 2011

This post was amazing, I wish I read this earlier (I'm day 7 after D-Day). Could the mods sticky this thread, as well as the others that were bumped yesterday? This would be a big help for us who just found out about the A and are looking for help.

Me - BS - 36
Her - WW - 34
Married 12 yrs.
3 kids - 9, 6, and 3
Dday - 2/26/2011
Divorcing/Separated

posts: 35   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2011
id 5116310
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SabinatheOwl ( Member #30023) posted at 5:30 PM on Thursday, March 10th, 2011

BUMP

~ Sabina

Details & story in profile

"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow

"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou

posts: 1350   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: Metro DC
id 5124478
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whensitover ( Member #31207) posted at 8:32 PM on Thursday, March 10th, 2011

WOW! What a plethora of information!! SO many good things to consider-I am amazed at just how 'cookie-cutter' the wayward are! It is almost word for word and deed for deed on eveybody-My boyfriend has followed the same tracks as most of the people here! the gaslighting, the lying, the blaming, the hysterical bonding! Everything!!

posts: 570   ·   registered: Feb. 16th, 2011
id 5124937
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 2:01 AM on Saturday, March 12th, 2011

bump...

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5127425
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hurts_alot ( New Member #31375) posted at 12:05 AM on Monday, March 14th, 2011

My WW and I went to our first MC session on Thursday, and the last couple of days have been rough. I read through this thread again (I've done it a couple of times before), and there is just so much great information here. I really felt like I got "centered" again after reading this. Thanks again for compiling this thread.

One of the posts that really helped while being down in the dumps is this one. Did SerJR write it? It's a thing of beauty and inspiration, just what I needed yesterday.

Shame

You know... I felt an awful lot like a failure... I mean the hero's supposed to win the battle in the end, isn't he?

What they don't tell you is that heroes often do fail.

Did my marriage fail? Yes. Am I proud of that? No. I was awfully proud of what I had... and all of that was stripped away.

And that lead to shame... the surest measure of goals never attained.

But that shame... lead to humility. By stripping myself of all conceits I exposed the roots by which the virtues of truth, love, and courage could flourish.

I was cast into a pit of hell and the devil laughed his ass off...

And I grabbed that fucker by the horns and told him to sit down, shut the fuck up, and enjoy the show.

Heroes may fail in the task, but they never fail in themselves. The real battle was never for my marriage... it was for me all along. If I was to truly fail... it would have been my doing. No way was that gonna happen.

Character isn't defined by what's happened to a person. It's defined by the choices a person makes.

So go ahead and throw me a label... cast me off into that pit. But I've gone over the edge and come back again. Go ahead and label me... the only ones that matter anyway are the ones I ascribe to myself... and I refuse to limit my potential. And besides... that label might come in handy to wipe my mouth after I eat the devil's lunch on him.

[This message edited by hurts_alot at 6:08 PM, March 13th (Sunday)]

Me - BS - 36
Her - WW - 34
Married 12 yrs.
3 kids - 9, 6, and 3
Dday - 2/26/2011
Divorcing/Separated

posts: 35   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2011
id 5129764
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 7:54 PM on Tuesday, March 15th, 2011

bump.

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5132999
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Rise_Above ( Member #23674) posted at 4:20 PM on Saturday, March 19th, 2011

volley

You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch

posts: 14226   ·   registered: Apr. 18th, 2009   ·   location: Chrys a lis
id 5139375
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fourever ( Member #30631) posted at 12:03 AM on Monday, March 21st, 2011

Bump up

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

posts: 917   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Northeast
id 5140877
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 4:23 AM on Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

bumpety bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5145021
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 9:11 PM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5150153
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 2:29 PM on Monday, March 28th, 2011

bump

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5152661
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 11:53 PM on Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5155858
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bufffalo ( Member #21854) posted at 6:28 AM on Saturday, April 2nd, 2011

DDay 9/25/2008

BH-me

posts: 6172   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 5163100
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Rise_Above ( Member #23674) posted at 10:36 PM on Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

ole ole bump

You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch

posts: 14226   ·   registered: Apr. 18th, 2009   ·   location: Chrys a lis
id 5169662
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