Newest Member: Lilident

Just Found Out :
Tactical Primer

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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 8:13 PM on Monday, April 30th, 2012

bump.

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5815874
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Magda08 ( New Member #35211) posted at 2:51 AM on Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

bump for the newbies

posts: 44   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: US
id 5816454
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Fighting2Survive ( Member #28410) posted at 9:02 PM on Thursday, May 10th, 2012

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5830741
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 9:34 PM on Friday, May 11th, 2012

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5832459
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annb ( Member #22386) posted at 3:02 AM on Sunday, May 20th, 2012

bump

posts: 11257   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 5843740
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 2:39 PM on Thursday, May 24th, 2012

Bump!

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5849950
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Jpapageorge ( Member #31800) posted at 5:25 AM on Sunday, May 27th, 2012

Bump

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 5853537
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Edie ( Member #26133) posted at 6:24 AM on Sunday, June 3rd, 2012

Bumped

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6384   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 5863894
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Fighting2Survive ( Member #28410) posted at 9:25 PM on Friday, June 8th, 2012

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5873628
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woundedby2 ( Member #18522) posted at 2:26 AM on Thursday, June 14th, 2012

Bumping

In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

posts: 8027   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2008   ·   location: SoCal
id 5881348
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 4:05 PM on Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5889180
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Fighting2Survive ( Member #28410) posted at 8:34 PM on Monday, July 2nd, 2012

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5909222
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 1:44 PM on Wednesday, July 4th, 2012

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5911576
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homewrecked2011 ( Member #34678) posted at 6:02 PM on Friday, July 6th, 2012

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5360   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 5914574
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SuspiciousWife ( Member #18108) posted at 5:53 PM on Tuesday, July 10th, 2012

Bumping

Me - BW, 44
Him - FWH, 44
OW - former co-worker
3 great kids
DDay - April 25, 2008 - mostly EA with one make-out session

posts: 557   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2008   ·   location: East Coast
id 5919699
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 4:32 PM on Monday, July 30th, 2012

bump

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5949182
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Fighting2Survive ( Member #28410) posted at 9:19 PM on Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces

posts: 7279   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2010   ·   location: NC
id 5951043
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charbonnel ( Member #36324) posted at 9:38 AM on Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Great advice. But what if the marriage was troubled. WS says she wouldn't have had the affair had she not been miserable (I know no excuse) but I take ownership of my own behaviour and have committed to improving it. She says that the OM isn't the issue but it is our marriage, that being in the A allowed her to stay in the marriage! She now says that even if the A ends (she seems to be finding out that the OM isn't as honest as she thought as she's found he's been staying in local hotels when she isn't involved and isn't being forthcoming with answers) she doesn't make reconciling with me a priority, that she likes being her own woman and is encouraging me to find another (better) partner. But I don't want to. I want my marriage to be improved and renewed, I want my family back. I am 51 (BS) and she is 33 (WS) we have a 7 yr old son.

I can't seem to do the 180. Even tonight she invited me for dinner with them...as I have no life it is hard to resist not seeing them but it is painful as I always think about what might be if only she would recommit...

posts: 66   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2012
id 5951770
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justjul ( Member #36383) posted at 8:41 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

Oh, THIS. This needs to stay on the front page. BUMP.

charbonnel, have you read the topic on understanding 180 ? http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=232785

DDay: 6 August 2012
Me: BS (30s)
Him: WH (30s)
Together 2001; Married 2009
No children

posts: 151   ·   registered: Aug. 7th, 2012   ·   location: On the other side of the world (most likely)
id 5961644
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lordhasaplan? ( Member #30079) posted at 4:27 PM on Saturday, August 11th, 2012

Bump

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 5967029
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