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Newest Member: MamaTo7

Just Found Out :
My Husband has Fathered a child. He and I were reconciling

Topic is Sleeping.

Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 3:49 PM on Thursday, March 16th, 2023

Did I ever sugget that it would be her fault or even imply that?

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 11573   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8782464

BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 4:04 PM on Thursday, March 16th, 2023

No, I don't think you did; sorry if it came off that way. It just seems like Austin76's husband is deflecting a lot of blame for his own actions and using her decision not to reconcile as an excuse to have nothing to do with his kid.

BW, 40s

Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 1502   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8782468

ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 4:33 PM on Thursday, March 16th, 2023

He has returned to "I can't go through with this divorce" and he has refused to visit his baby. He says he will send money, but doesn't want a relationship. I have no intentions of staying. But I feel as if I am the reason he is feeling resentful. I don't want that to happen.

He wouldn't be the first WH to be angry about an OW getting pregnant or deciding to keep the child. Although, it should be foregone knowledge that sometimes people lie or that sometimes birth control fails. Often enough the WH feels victimized as if he'd been misled. I can't speak for everyone, but I had that talk with my son when he was an adolescent. He was told plainly that if he couldn't imagine himself raising children with the object of his interest, he'd be better off saying 'no' to sex.

Your WH's resentment and reluctance might not have anything to do with your decision, OP. I think it's okay if you refuse delivery on any guilt about it.


BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)
Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 8

posts: 6800   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8782476
Topic is Sleeping.
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