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Newest Member: Papi

Divorce/Separation :
First sighting


 Losttransport (original poster member #39409) posted at 4:43 AM on Saturday, August 6th, 2022

I saw stbxh. I haven’t laid eyes on him since July 9th and I saw him. When he moved out, it was to his girlfriend’s apartment 2 hours away. I live in a fairly small town, so I wasn’t worried about running into either of them at the local stores.

I knew he was in town, because he visited my daughter and grandchild. I was in the parking lot of a restaurant waiting for my lunch to be brought out, and I looked up and he was walking right in front of my car. I just looked at him with my mouth open. He was RIGHT THERE! He just gave me a little half smile and a lifted-hand wave and kept walking. He didn’t stop. I just sat there for a few seconds, then hopped out of the car. I was going to try to catch him leaving. I don’t even know what I was going to say. I just felt relief and happiness and I just wanted to touch his hand or his face. But he took the back exit out of the parking lot so he wouldn’t come by me. And he was gone again.

33 years together and I didn’t warrant a hi, I hope you’re okay. He walked past me like I was trash on the road. He was wearing a shirt that I bought him, and all I wanted to do was hold his hand with mine, and listen to him talk.

[This message edited by Losttransport at 4:46 AM, Saturday, August 6th]

Me: BS-50
Hubby: WS-50
OW: his high school girlfriend
Affair started last November
3 DD, 1 DS all grown
Time heals all wounds-I do not agree.

posts: 121   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2013   ·   location: Texas
id 8748494

HeartbreakInHawaii ( new member #80401) posted at 6:46 AM on Saturday, August 6th, 2022

My heart breaks for you, Lost. I can't imagine how hard this must be.
I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know I'm thinking about you.

posts: 17   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2022   ·   location: Canada
id 8748499

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 10:36 AM on Saturday, August 6th, 2022

(((Hugs))) I can feel the pain In your post. And he’s a weasel for just driving off through the back gate. This is exactly why we say NC equals no new hurts. And I’m so sorry that you had to see him through no fault of your own. Take good care of yourself and treat yourself gently after this. You are better than that. you deserve better . you deserve so much better.

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 6:00 PM, Saturday, August 6th]

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4893   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8748502

The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 12:57 PM on Saturday, August 6th, 2022

He’s a coward.

And will Look to take the lazy easy way out whenever possible.

I’m sorry you had this "interaction". But at least you know where you stand.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12339   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8748511

ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 11:39 PM on Saturday, August 6th, 2022

What a total jerk. That's on him. You deserved better after 33 years, and it's a statement of who he is that he could disregard you so after all that time, like some acquaintance whose name he couldn't remember. It's absolute cowardice that he couldn't face you in the moment, and as much as it's painful to think it, how could you not be better off with that toxic, shallow person out of your life?

Living well is the best revenge. Spend time with your family. Reinvent yourself, your home, and your life to be something YOU purposefully design. Love yourself enough to let that poison go.

((big hugs))

[This message edited by ChamomileTea at 2:39 AM, Sunday, August 7th]

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 5767   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8748568

JustNonna ( new member #80456) posted at 1:34 AM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2022

I was experiencing such emotional pain as I was reading your post. I just want to go beat up you STBXH. I am so sorry for your pain <HUG>.

posts: 31   ·   registered: Jul. 28th, 2022   ·   location: Washington
id 8749827
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