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Newest Member: Tortex

Reconciliation :
Happy Father’s Day to Those in R

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 Tanner (original poster member #72235) posted at 4:47 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Happy Father’s Day to those that chose to try R for your kids. I think for any of us (Mothers and Fathers) that was the major motivation for R.

Dday 2, I was done with my WW. It was a Saturday and on Monday I was finding a lawyer. I did not speak to her that weekend other than to set up IHS and prepare for D. I can say without a doubt, if we didn’t have kids, we would be divorced today.

Thankfully that motivation to protect my family from an attack within, was a wake up call to my WW. She was now outside looking in. Eventually she was offered another chance at R, and has really been solid. I’m happy in our M, it’s a much better relationship than before. It’s not without difficult times and tough communication, but I’m glad we had the kids to give us the pause we needed.

((Group Hug))

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1629   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8740921
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:04 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Gee, did you really mean to limit your good wishes to fathers in R?

With a GS and a D'ed son, I've got to include all non-abusive fathers in 'Happy Father's Day!'

And to abusive fathers, my wish for you is that you learn to stop the abuse, the sooner, the better.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27413   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8740926
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 Tanner (original poster member #72235) posted at 5:47 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Gee, did you really mean to limit your good wishes to fathers in R?

Yes, that is where I am as it relates to SI. I have never visited D&S, so I felt R was relevant to my thoughts.

If it is inappropriate please close it.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1629   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8740944
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78monte ( member #72572) posted at 6:59 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Happy Father's Day, Song Title Buddy!
😀

posts: 2569   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8740956
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 8:39 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Happy father's day to all of you.

My father passed away during my wife's EA so it can be tough at moments. But my kids are great.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2021   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8740967
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 Tanner (original poster member #72235) posted at 9:45 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

My father passed away during my wife's EA so it can be tough at moments. But my kids are great.

My Dad passed at 11 months from Dday. He was on hospice and my W was awesome. She really showed her love and selflessness. Spent countless hours caring for my parents, more than me or my siblings. It really made our first Dday antiversary a lot easier.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1629   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8740975
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 9:21 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

Sorry, Tanner. I was asking a genuine question, and I forgot to start with 'Posting as a member'.

TiF, Tanner, I'm sorry the loss of your fathers came so close to d-day.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27413   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8741107
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 Tanner (original poster member #72235) posted at 1:49 AM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

Thank you Sisoon. You are one of my favorites here.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1629   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8741143
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Underserving ( member #72259) posted at 2:13 AM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

I’m a day late, but happy Father’s Day, Tanner! And all the other fathers out there in R land. :)

BW (32)Found out 3 years post end of AD-day 12-9-19In R

Infidelity brings out the cuss in me. I’m not as foul mouthed in real life. ;)

posts: 775   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2019
id 8741150
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 Tanner (original poster member #72235) posted at 4:18 AM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

I’m a day late, but happy Father’s Day, Tanner! And all the other fathers out there in R land. :)

Thank you, it’s good to see you here, hope all is well.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1629   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8741164
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survrus ( member #67698) posted at 3:27 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2022

Tanner,

You wrote, Spent countless hours caring for my parents, more than me or my siblings.

It can be difficult to reconcile that kind of behavior with what they did during the affair.

My W said one of the major reasons she went with me was what she thought of my parents, my parents liked her better than me ultimately and thought she could do no wrong. I even think it was the fear of my parents knowing what she did that kept her from staying with OM1.

posts: 1180   ·   registered: Nov. 1st, 2018   ·   location: USA
id 8741376
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 Tanner (original poster member #72235) posted at 8:20 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2022

It can be difficult to reconcile that kind of behavior with what they did during the affair.

Yes, but I’ve know her 33 years and she has always been a kind caring, family first person. As far as I was concerned, the demon was exercised, my W was back to herself.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1629   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8741410
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