Newest Member: zurichtime

Off Topic :
New things and anxiety???

default

 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 4:21 PM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

Its a normal thing to experience some anxiety with "new things" right?

I expect that with things like a move, new school, new job, but what about small things?

Wh and i have paid off the tabs on our phones and could finally upgrade. We wanted new phones so dd could then have my current phone and DS could have DD's phone, all of us on the family plan.

We all went to the store yesterday to "look at" our options. Ended up ordering the new phones which are being shipped directly to us. Wh wasnt much help picking out the phones, saying whatever i got he wanted since he isnt tech savvy...

We both prefer android over iPhone and i wanted to stick with the Galaxy A series since i am familiar with it. It was a choice between A32 and A52. 32 in stock 52 not. Not much of a price difference but a lot more storage in 52 so we went with them.

The problem was not being in stock. I order off Amazon. Its not like i haven't ordered stuff before but today i feel anxious about it. I could have done it all online through their web site but doing it In store knocked off 2 weeks in shipping time.

Maybe it's the switching of data from our old phones to new phones that has me uptight. Buy In store and they do that for me.

Since i have to go back to the store to set up DD's old phone for ds with a new SIM card i was told if i had any issues with smart switch they would help.

This isn't a huge deal at all but i feel like theres a rave going on in my stomach.

I have been making small changes lately. Drinking more water, less coffee (one cup down from a full pot). No longer biting my nails so now i have talons lol. Vaping less. Less snacking. Seems i am losing weight too. All of that and yet im not feeling better. Still tired snd a hell of alot more anxious about stuff. Wth!

Anyone else feel this way?

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22036   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8686227
default

sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:54 PM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

There are a lot of things that can go wrong. smile

Earlier this year I ordered a phone via ebay. It didn't work well, and I returned it. I was nervous until the refund showed up on my card. I bought a new phone from Google with a BIG penalty if I didn't stay on Google Fi for 90 days. It's been 115 days ... I'm afraid to go back to Ting....

Boy, I HOPE anxiety is normal for new things. smile

BTW, I was shocked at how easy it was to get the data from my old Moto to my new Galaxy. You'll see. The process is virtually automatic, IIRC.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26135   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8686232
default

 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 5:05 PM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

Thank you sisoon!

Yes so much can go wrong. Canada post isnt so and it's supposed to be here quickly bit i like FedEx lol. They deliver DD's meds to the house and its always here when they say it will be.

Switching the info: im unsure what will be transferred. My Notes? Apps? Photos?

I cant even transfer all of my photo albums to the computer....so im nervous about that part. Im going to clear off as much as i can do then see what the smart switch does. Im also writing down all passwords and log in info which i normally do again so i have it all.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22036   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8686238
default

thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 1:50 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

Hi Dragn,
I feel you. Have been needing a new phone for a while and really thought it would be better to get at the store. I was waiting for the next Galaxy version come out so I could save on the one I wanted as I figured it would then be cheaper as on older model.

Then came Prime Day and it was on sale for way less than the figure I had in mind. But wait... what about this... and what about that.... if I buy there???? So I went on my carrier's site and asked those questions of the "chat" person as if my reasons for doing those things were more pandemic related, not wanting to go to the store.

Turns out my phone, also an A series, already has the App for xfer of my data, photos, apps, etc. Haven't really found anything missing yet. Just put the phones next to each other and told it to go.....! Took a while and all good. Well, except for all that 'new phone' stuff to get used to. You might want to verify having that app on the 52 and put it on the old phones if needed.

I spent quite a bit of worry time for not really much ado. I think everything is getting magnified in my brain lately.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 4998   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8686344
default

 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:28 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

thebighurt

I looked up the latest galaxy A series phones and the A52 5G and A72 are what came up. Our carrier only had the A32 and A52 5G listed. No A72.

Store rep said the phone comes with the transfer program. On the A20 that i have now it's called Smart Switch.

.

I think everything is getting magnified in my brain lately.

This!!!

I am always worried. My brain never shuts off. Most nights i lay awake, 100 thoughts going through my head. When i do sleep i have vivid dreams that seem so real and are always so bad. Is this the result of the pandemic? A reaction to less caffeine? I thought making lifestyle changes would help with energy and sleep but things have just gotten worse.

Sunday i found wh in the bedroom sitting on the bed shaking and breathing heavy. He said his chest felt like it was being crushed. He has had anxiety and panic attacks. This was a bad one. He is on medication and has been so much better since he started it. I have not had it that bad except for the chest feeling. A couple times i wondered if i was having a heart attack.

Just seems lately its been worse.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22036   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8686364
default

 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 4:14 PM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

I typically never eat breakfast and skip lunch, maybe snacking here and there on crackers or veggies. Dinner is my main meal, most of the time. Today i have gotten up and opened the fridge and cupboard just staring, not knowing what to eat. Im hungry. I think. Finally decided on oatmeal. Cant just eat it, sorta picking away little bits with the spoon. Like a full spoon full will make me sick. Wth!!!???

I am burning hot one minute ans freezing the next. My chest is tight. Party going on in my stomach. This is nuts.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22036   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8686433
default

whatisloveanyway ( member #66450) posted at 8:32 PM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

DH, bless your heart. I think it's perfectly normal to have new stressors due to our fried Central Nervous Systems thanks to infidelity and covid.

I have some new and misplaced anxiety issues since the A. Terrified of bridges and snakes and terribly easily startled. I went from superhero in a crisis to incapacitated in an emergency. I can't make decisions now without agony, researching the heck out of everything lest I miss an important detail and have regrets. Wonder where that came from, lol. I get the why of it, understanding intellectually that I am stressing over little things due to the chaos in my life, but hate not being in control of it. No wonder the phone stuff is stressful - they cost a fortune and we can't function without them and they are changing so fast I can't keep up. Nothing is easy since covid either, not just the going and getting, but the supply chain is a mess too. Hope you get that phone sorted out and are happy with it. Eating is another thing on its own.

When I get anxious or upset, my stomach starts to churn and make ridiculous noises, and my IB flares. I struggle to find food I want to swallow, because it gets gaggy in my throat. I had a spiral after my 4th or 5th DDay when I found out how stupid I really was, and that nervous stomach and nausea thing would not stop. I lost a little weight after the first Dday, but a year and a half out it started coming off no matter what I ate. I lost so much weight I was sure I had cancer. Went down to my 16 yo weight, and wish I could say I looked great, but I suddenly looked 10 years older due to the wrinkles and stress.. I did lots of tests, had my colonoscopy, all fine and finally made the mind body connection.

The stress in my head seems to go straight to my gut. I am queasy and don't want to eat, nothing looks appetizing, and nothing tastes good. Except salty snacks and wine, that's another story/problem. Anyway, I recognize the stomach connection, and know that if I have an argument with WH, I won't be able to eat anything. I used my fitbit to keep my heartrate under 100 by controlled breathing and mental breaks to stop the stress chemicals so I don't wreck my stomach with the stress.

Keep trying, for me oatmeal is either the yummiest or disgusting gruel depending on my mood. Toast and jam or honey or fruit smoothies with protein powder I can usually get down when I'm stressing.

Good luck sorting it out, the phone and the fridge!

ps - I run hot/cold ever since peri-meno at 43, 61 and still daily, hot cold, and yes tight in the chest too. Oddly, my chest pain is referred neck pain from Cspine herniations and bone spurs, and is aggravated by too much time hunched over a computer. Remember to stretch. The chest tightness could be indigestion, stress or any number of things. I always assumed the worst, but have learned that many of my health symptoms are are actually referred or symptoms of something else. Be well....

BW: 61 WH: 61 Both 57 on Dday. M: 34 years, 2 grown kids, 9 year Affair with MOW, 7 month False Recovery, year + trickle truth. I got rid of her. Reconciling, but the lies have piled up. Trying one more time.
Sorry for the sticky shift key and typos.

posts: 278   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2018   ·   location: Southeastern USA
id 8686498
default

whatisloveanyway ( member #66450) posted at 8:38 PM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

Instead of edit, I'm adding, YES to the racing brain. I learned that the brain loves to get stuck in its loops and that the racing brain is getting addicted to itself. I try to cut off the fuel to that when it happens. I have a game on my phone called spelltower that has a rush mode to make words in or the screen fills up like tetris. It's stressful to play but really forces my brain to focus on it, so i can let the other stuff go.

Also, spell tower has a zen mode, no stress, just making words. Woody puzzle is another brain game that helps with the stimming, as i call it.

I have a very busy brain by nature and struggle with OCD issues so I'm not interested in revving my engine any more than needed for daily mode. I'm TIRED of thinking!!

Chest pain is so stressful. I have horrific cardiac history in my family and have had chest pains for years. Just be sure to get your heart health check ups, and if it helps the anxiety, consider one of those cardiac monitor apps. i have a thing called Kardia i got a few years ago. When the chest pains happen, i do a quick ekg and let it tell me what I already know, that i am fine, just having a panic attack, muscle spasms or need to burp!

So much stress for you both, for us all. We need a breather. Wishing you some peace.

BW: 61 WH: 61 Both 57 on Dday. M: 34 years, 2 grown kids, 9 year Affair with MOW, 7 month False Recovery, year + trickle truth. I got rid of her. Reconciling, but the lies have piled up. Trying one more time.
Sorry for the sticky shift key and typos.

posts: 278   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2018   ·   location: Southeastern USA
id 8686501
default

 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 9:56 PM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

ps - I run hot/cold ever since peri-meno at 43, 61 and still daily, hot cold, and yes tight in the chest too.

I am 46 so that would make sense. I just can't get over hoe i can feel comfortable one minute then be absolutely freezing the next. I will have goosebumps and all the hair on my arms stands straight up. So i put on a sweater then a few minutes later i need to take it off. So damn weird.

I used too love playing a Mahjongg game but the game needed an update and changed. The music wasnt soothing and it was timed now. I had word games too that were enjoyable but again. They changed. The only game i have now is solitaire.

Im sure the phones will be fine. And i can get help if i need it.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22036   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8686514
default

 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 1:24 AM on Saturday, September 4th, 2021

Well the phones arrived to the post office yesterday. Got notice sheet to pick up today.

I am now posting from my new phone. Pretty much the same as my old one. The smart switch worked dor everything except Chrome, so for now i am stuck using the Samsung browser. I cannot get the legacy site to work so new site it is.

I started with thr visual aura last night. This morning lost vision in half of thr field in both eyes for most of the morning then migraine hit. I have barely eaten. My stomach is in knots... at least the pbones are here.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22036   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8687090
default

whatisloveanyway ( member #66450) posted at 2:28 AM on Saturday, September 4th, 2021

DrqagonHeart, glad the phone is working. Hope the anxiety tapers off and the stomach crap too. Visual Auras suck, I started them last year out of the blue. I just added them to the list of stupid things my body does. Aren't they awful? I see rainbow kaleidoscopes and can't read or drive or do anything but lay in the dark for about 45 minutes. Half the time I have a pounding headache after, the other half I just feel weird and out of body for hours.

Sorry your stomach is in knots. Mine too. Forced a talk about some lingering smoldering issues with WH and shit blew up like always, and I fell into the pit of despair, full fledged nausea, too upset to cry, couldn't sleep, stomach in knots. Couldn't eat the next day. Decided to pretend I was intermittent fasting and see if I can lose a few of my covid/wine pounds. So far that's working. About the roasting then freezing? I spent years like that. Couldn't wear anything pull over. You learn to layer. Tank top then a button shirt then sweater, to take off in layers. Its the sweating that I hated. I could handle the temp fluctuations but not the clammy after the hot sweats. Estrogen therapy saved my life, i think. But i'm not sure how many more years I am allowed to take them before the cancer risk kicks in.

However, about the anxiety - I mentioned how I became petrified of snakes when outside after DDay. Later, I moved from the upper midwest to the southeast, where there actually are snakes. I grew up around snakes and critters and don't mind them. Not too experienced with the venemous pit vipers though, so I keep my guard up in my new home. After that awful fight and a sad morning and frustrated lunch conversation, I decided to go outside and garden my way out of my adrenaline and anxiety, which always works. I got distracted taking pictures og some bugs and did not see the copperhead at eye level in the woodpile, about a foot from my head. Because I was already a raw nerve, I freaked out. Literally. Panic attack, ran around outside the house and sobbed, hyperventilated, and paced like a caged animal for half an hour. I finally got my shit together and got the snake grabber for my husband to take care of it when he got home. I thought I would have a stroke, my heart was beating too fast for the fitbit to measure. Totally stress related, because I came across a 4 foot rattler later in the afternoon was a pleasant surprise in the woods and no threat, so I acted like a normal person, like I always have when I see something amazing in nature. But I am back to high alert now, every leaf and shadow and dark corner is a threat this week. It is really always something.

I am doing everything I know to do to stop my lizard brain from sensing danger night and day. Snake season isn't helping! ​

BW: 61 WH: 61 Both 57 on Dday. M: 34 years, 2 grown kids, 9 year Affair with MOW, 7 month False Recovery, year + trickle truth. I got rid of her. Reconciling, but the lies have piled up. Trying one more time.
Sorry for the sticky shift key and typos.

posts: 278   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2018   ·   location: Southeastern USA
id 8687092
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.000.20211019 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy