Skeeter, there it is: the particulars of your situation totally explain your recent attempt to solve your social isolation issues by allowing this defective individual to "sell" you. Because you needed the help, and especially when it comes to our baby dogs, it's really hard to slot in just anybody. If you have to ask yourself why you even went there, maybe blame the dog!!
No kidding. I know my dear old boy has influenced my staying in this situation! Cause I know how much he loves his farm and his truck rides with his "Dad!" He is the reason why I got the RV, in fact! Good dog - didn't foresee that I'd need it like a man kennel, to board the SAWH!
The RV seemed like a good alternative to kennel boarding after our experience 2 years ago, when I had to go out of state to a major hospital for an advanced procedure, and we booked the 2 dogs into a dog resort so they could share a cottage with every amenity. It even had a large privacy-fenced play yard; we happily paid $70.00 a night. Nothing was too good for my old dog!
Trouble is, he was somehow badly injured at that place during the 3 nights and 2 days he and the girl dog were there. Either he slipped in the deep snow that fell after we left, which they love to play in, or the owner abused him. And I suspect the latter, because she tried everything not to have us board with her, 6 months later, when I needed a follow-up exam. Friends think she was guilty, guilty, guilty. It took a neurologist and 4 acupuncture sessions using electric stimulation to return him the use of his limbs; he clearly had suffered a spinal compression from some trauma!
Several vets tried to tell us it was a degenerative old age spinal disease that is always terminal. I refused to believe that, because it had come on too quickly. He was greatly helped by the acupuncture, after a veterinary neurological surgeon offered us no hope, and I vowed right then never to board him like that, again. The whole experience was one I shared with SAWH. Bonding moments...
So how well I know that having a special old dog can work to tie you down! We make many important decisions with them in mind. But we owe our first loyalty to ourself, never forget. Like the airplane oxygen masks: momma first!
And you identified a REAL big one, the loss of family. Me, too. After my father passed in 2013 and the brother who "cared" for him alienated the remaining family and stole my father's entire estate, I felt like the only love left in my life was looking up at me from those beautiful almond-shaped wolf eyes. Sigh.
The next year was when my SAWH got himself arrested for soliciting. More friends in the community started politely shunning us after it made the news, and his mug shot was plastered all over local news and television! Loss on loss.
Try this exercise: draw a circle for yourself. Then a larger concentric circle around it, for the influence of your close family and pets. Then another larger circle around those 2, for influential working associates, church affiliations, etc. and finally, draw the largest circle around those 3, representing influences from your community/state. Write the names of your social contacts in the circles they best fit within. Write the names of close family members who are deceased, and put a line through their name. If you are like me, you will see you're missing a LOT of the innermost social supports people rely upon.
This is known as Bronfenbrenner's Ecological Systems Theory. It is a fascinating illustration of our dilemma. We humans all need those inner circle supporters to thrive. Sounds like you and I have lost a lot of them. I figured out it's a factor in why I haven't been eager to cut ties with this man...everybody else had already abandoned me, one way or the other, and he did too, yet one difference with him, is that I can't get him to leave!! I didn't seem to have that issue with anyone else! Heck, they all died or just quit communicating. So that makes us notice when someone tries so hard to "sell" us on keeping them in our circle. First, find other resources.
Hope today you can find a new friend. It's Sunday, are you allowed to have church where you live?