Newest Member: Chickenhawk

I Can Relate :
Support Through Prayer ...Part 3

Topic is Sleeping.
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needfriendshere ( member #43350) posted at 8:14 PM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016

Still praying for you all. But I am not posting at this time. I'm just too tired.

I send you all hugs,

NFH

Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.

posts: 1542   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2014
id 7467128
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hihn ( member #43986) posted at 2:48 PM on Friday, February 5th, 2016

I am making an unusual prayer request today from all of you here in STP-3. I am asking you to pray for my Rotweiller. She is the one of the sweetest Rotweillers I have ever known. She is only 6 years old and has been diagnosed with a bad heart as a result of a missed diagnosis of hypothyroidism. She has been at deaths door twice since September 2015. Everyone who has met her has fallen in love with her. Even people who have said they don't like animals have fallen in love with her. People who have a fear of Rotweillers have fallen in love with her. She just has a way with people. I am hoping for a miracle that she can remain with me a few more years. She has been my companion through some rough seas. She was by my side when it felt like no one else was. She was my constant when nothing else was. Please, please pray for her miracle.

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 7469683
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StrongHeart ( member #45092) posted at 8:01 PM on Friday, February 5th, 2016

Hihn, sending some special prayers to you today. What a special little girl you have.

BS: 32; XWH: 34; DS: 3
DDay: 3/8/2014; D: 8/31/2015

"There is little growing in comfort and little comfort in growing"-unknown

"Don't take your emotional temperature in the ass of a psychopath."-unknown

posts: 1791   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: Louisiana
id 7470031
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BrokenheartedWif ( member #40955) posted at 8:52 PM on Friday, February 5th, 2016

Hihn praying for you 4 legged friend. They are such a joy.

He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love. Whorena The Cumdumpster pretended to be my friend the entire time as well. I'll take an enemy any day of the week.

posts: 934   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Central IN
id 7470084
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forgivingishard ( member #44848) posted at 9:27 PM on Friday, February 5th, 2016

outoftheashes - I hope your meeting with OW went okay. I still pray everyday for you that the child is not your H's.

I also regularly pray for all here. Even though I don't post much.

hopefull77 the things you posted about your father are beautiful. Your feeling that your parents were still parenting you brought tears to my eyes. I hope and pray that someday I will be able to give that kind of STRENGTH and peace to my children.

Me: BW early 40's
Him: FWH early 40's
Married 16 years; Together 19 years
3 Children (10, 8 & a baby) who deserve better
LTA - MOW
DD 1/31/14, TT 3/?/14, TT 11/27/14

posts: 552   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2014
id 7470135
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Itiswell2015 ( member #49813) posted at 4:15 PM on Saturday, February 6th, 2016

Joining the group today. ITs been a roller coaster for me.

I had to tell my husband to leave tonight, after so much back and forth in the last 5 months. I am doubting my decision but i know for now its whats best for me and my daughter.

Please pray for me for strength, i need strength to be able to go through this period, strength not to focus on him but focus on me and my daughter and my walk with God

Thank you

Me: BS (34)
Him: SA (35)
Married 5 years,2 Daughters (one is 4 months old)
dd#1 04/11 claimed ONS
dd#2 11/2014.Claimed ONS
dd#3 09/15: found out more than 40 women/prostitutes.
dd#4: 08/ 2017: saw old sextape from 2015 made before discovery

posts: 153   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Middle East
id 7470641
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hihn ( member #43986) posted at 6:23 PM on Saturday, February 6th, 2016

Itiswell2015,

I have you in my prayers. It appears you & I have a little in common when it comes to WHs. In that I mean the SA that comes before the WH. Hugs

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 7470717
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 3:40 AM on Sunday, February 7th, 2016

I read a book last night and today. Congratulations steady, you can read. The book was "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young. It had an emotional and profound effect on me. I am still processing. I hope it sticks. Just wanted to pass that on. It may have changed me forever.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7471035
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LaVoie ( new member #51473) posted at 2:22 PM on Thursday, February 11th, 2016

Hi, I hope I'm posting correctly.

I need prayer please, I'm going nuts!

Just had a conversation with WH about possibly going out of town for a week for work and he mentioned that he might want to go with, and he would visit his friend, but this would be in reach of OW as she would be able to drive there in about an hour, so I went dead quite and he said, What?, so I said....well that would be to close to "there" and he just kept quiet, and I asked where would we stay if he wanted to go with? And he said, never mind I won't go with! It's only been over a month since DD, so I still have major trust issues. Please pray for me (us) that I can get over this and please pray that my WH will start putting in effort to show me that he loves me, he still doesn't say he loves me or touches me, it really feels like such utter rejection and it's breaking my heart. It's so difficult!

BW-me 40 now 46
WH - 44 now 50
Married 17.5 yrs almost 23yrs
DD #1 somewhere early 2000's (always denied it. Had no proof other than friend seeing them)
DD #2 - 2012 -Could never prove it, he denied it.
DD #3 - 08-01-2016
OW - 48

posts: 33   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2016   ·   location: South Africa
id 7475934
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outoftheashes ( new member #49873) posted at 3:47 AM on Friday, February 12th, 2016

Thanks everyone, for the prayers. The meeting with the OW went pretty good, better than I expected. I still don't trust that she isn't going to be looking for any weak area she can take advantage of, but at least we're comfortable with each other for the baby's sake. The little girl was born today, she's healthy and a cutie. I've spent the day bouncing between screaming and crying to looking forward to meeting her with some excitement. FWH went in this morning to meet her but the OW would like me to wait until she's out of the hospital. Frustrating for me but in her shoes I can understand. The DNA results will take about a week to come back. Please continue to pray she's not my H's. I do know she'll be a blessing to our famy if that's what God wants, but my flesh so badly does not want this. I've been storming Heaven with prayers that she not be my H'a child and by the same token, for strength, wisdom and patience with each other if she is his. Thank you to all of the prayer warriors on this site.

posts: 28   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2015
id 7476755
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LaVoie ( new member #51473) posted at 2:41 PM on Saturday, February 13th, 2016

Wow Outoftheashes...that must be so hard to deal with. My prayers are with you that whatever His will is, you and your H will be able to endure. Much love sent your way.

BW-me 40 now 46
WH - 44 now 50
Married 17.5 yrs almost 23yrs
DD #1 somewhere early 2000's (always denied it. Had no proof other than friend seeing them)
DD #2 - 2012 -Could never prove it, he denied it.
DD #3 - 08-01-2016
OW - 48

posts: 33   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2016   ·   location: South Africa
id 7477935
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Merida ( member #42437) posted at 12:23 PM on Monday, February 15th, 2016

outoftheashes what I found strength in realizing was that OC was not my husband's child

meaning, we are not merely the product of our DNA = lest we be no better than dry bones dancing about (think that's Isaiah but not sure) anyhow

we are all gifts = we are all God's children

parents are who raise us, who love us - who show us and teach us:

who we are

why we are here

where we are going

I believe our true family is by the blood of Christ, not birthwaters (as the roman saying that blood spilled in battle is a thicker bind ... so just remember it's been twisted in reverse by modern times)

I am often humbled by the tremendous task I have been given to be called mom by three amazing souls and in knowing I helped raise two other amazing souls and for the rest ... I am content to establish my own safe boundary to first work on healing myself and my marriage and that God will take care of what God wants manifested on this earth as he owns it all

we may possess a few things for awhile as tasked with stewardship, but we own nothing here

I pray you have peace in your soul as you become truly aware of knowing HIS WILL and that God would never ask you to harm your family for his sake. HIS WILL may at times be painful, but it is like training to win the race. Like sore muscles but you know you are getting stronger through the pain... so be aware to stand guarded against the harm of poor boundaries and attempts to "play nice" with fire. I cannot stress enough

Lawful is not legal. Do not co-mingle in man's fictional world of legal bondage lest you forget the master you serve...

[This message edited by Merida at 6:30 AM, February 15th (Monday)]

"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."


"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."

posts: 1377   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Maryland
id 7479301
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Merida ( member #42437) posted at 12:29 PM on Monday, February 15th, 2016

posting here a second time with a prayer request for my mom and our family as we work through her hospitalization and then... down the road

hopefully she gains strength to reveal her true self, her very wounded raped as a teen and then giving the baby up for adoption self, to us as now adults raising kids so that we may end what appears to be a generational curse

I just pray for God to continue to show us how much he loves us and to give us the ability to see that we are loved. To recognize as I just wrote that the spiritual pain is getting us stronger, to bring us closer, to lift us higher to truly

understanding I AM THAT AM

thank you all for your prayers I am truly humbled by my SI family through these trials

"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."


"The darkest night is dispelled by the humblest of flames."

posts: 1377   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Maryland
id 7479306
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 3:45 PM on Saturday, February 27th, 2016

I wanted to share this quote from Pope Francis with you all...

How many times in my pastoral ministry have I heard it said, “Father, I have many sins”? And I have always pleaded, “Don't be afraid, go to him, he is waiting for you, he will take care of everything.”

Merida prayers sent your way...

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7490652
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cntrlz ( member #52057) posted at 1:11 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2016

Hi, new WS here. Can anyone share what "transforming your mind" looks like on a daily basis? Are my thoughts and memories about AP from my flesh or Satan? BH and I are working to R. Can't get these thoughts of AP out of my mind. Thank you

posts: 148   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2016
id 7492170
sad1

cntrlz ( member #52057) posted at 1:11 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2016

Hi, new WS here. Can anyone share what "transforming your mind" looks like on a daily basis? Are my thoughts and memories about AP from my flesh or Satan? BH and I are working to R. Can't get these thoughts of AP out of my mind. Thank you

posts: 148   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2016
id 7492171
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 1:20 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2016

Cntrlz

I follow many daily devotionals but if you tootle. Ignatian Spirituality there is info on the daily examen..I find it to be a wonderful tool...

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7492177
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hihn ( member #43986) posted at 11:25 PM on Friday, March 4th, 2016

It's been almost a month since I last posted. Some serious changes have and are happening in my life ever since Dday. Recently my sister who was a big support person for me blew up at me when I asked her to let me finish my sentence. I asked her this after letting her interrupt me mid sentences too many times to count for 2 days solid. She yelled at me saying she would not be spoken to that way. Then said she was leaving, then just walked off without another word. She abandoned me in a the middle of a shopping mall in Prescott AZ which was 2 hours drive away from the Motel where we were staying for 3 days. We drove to Prescott in her car rental. So there I was not knowing if she was going to return & wondering how I was going to get back to the motel in Scottsdale to get my things, then fly back to Colorado the next day. She eventually returned after about an hour. Then proceeded to tell me that she was sick of me being angry ever since I found about WH cheating. I swear I haven't expressed any anger towards her for almost 30 years. This is the second time she has acted this way and abandoned me. The last time had similar circumstances 2 years ago. I flew to Scottsdale AZ to spend 3 days with her. She is from Mt. So we were staying at a motel then too. She got mad at me because I didn't want to answer my phone when my mother inlaw had called while we were in the middle a store. I told her I would call her back later, & my sister kept insisting I call her back immediately and kept persisting. Finally I just said that I wasn't going to call her until I was out of the mall so I could hear my mother inlaw better on the phone. That's when my sister said I won't be treated that way by anyone, I am leaving you, then left me without another word. There I was no vehicle, not even a key to our motel room to get my things. I was at her mercy, after about hour she called my cell and said she didn't want to fight and ask me to join her at a restaurant she was at. Anyway I don't think I should put myself in a place of trust for her without my own means of transportation & access to my belongings again. So I returned home on the 3rd on both events feeling pretty shaken up. When I returned home the last time I was given the news that a close friend and a major support person of mine for 20 years was in the hospital, was very weak and wasn't going to be on this earth much longer. He is now home on hospice care and doing very poorly. Three days ago we had to put our Rottweiler down. I don't want to sound like I want to wallow in a pity party. It just seems that the lord has been reconstructing my whole life ever since Dday. Pointing out to me who are the toxic people and removing them. Pointing out the ones I have leaned on, which were my anchors and then removing them. My world has been turned upside down and shaken up like never before in my life. It has left me asking what is this all about Lord? Is there something you are trying to tell me and am I just not hearing or learning it. Is this just one gigantic test of my trust and faith in him? I starting to feel a bit like Job lately.

[This message edited by hihn at 5:53 PM, March 4th (Friday)]

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 7495843
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 12:56 AM on Saturday, March 5th, 2016

Hihn

There is a great book called HOW WE LOVE by Kay and Milan yerkovich...they are Christian writers and speakers...its a great book....also the book BEYOND BOUNDARIES ...this helps you set your boundaries for the toxic people in your life...your sister is truly toxic...

I have a sister who is toxic...that book helped me immensely ...our relationship is better because I wont let her get to me like she used to!

Good luck to you

Peace

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7495924
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BrokenheartedWif ( member #40955) posted at 1:02 AM on Saturday, March 5th, 2016

((hihn))

God very well be wanting you to lean into and on Him and to bring Him all.

Have you read "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend? It's a great book, and the workbook that goes with it is very good as well.

They also wrote a book called "Safe People" I haven't read that one yet.

I find that Satan attacks me when I'm doing what God wants me to do. Anymore, if Satan's not attacking me in some way, or through someone choosing to act poorly and do his dirty work; I figure I'm not being effective and doing God's will.

He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love. Whorena The Cumdumpster pretended to be my friend the entire time as well. I'll take an enemy any day of the week.

posts: 934   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Central IN
id 7495930
Topic is Sleeping.
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