SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Looks like I missed the post of an unhappy customer! 😊

When I first came here I was distraught and emotional. I said some things I wished I had not but I don't feel bad for it. I felt like I had been kicked in the crotch.

Yes, my shit stinks. But back then I had a happy life and I found out she cheated. It was not a mistake since another guys junk does not get in my wife's mouth or vagina by "Mistake ".

I was not a person who had let myself go and then was stunned his wife screwing around. I cared deeply about her and well I was blind sided. My Ex knew there was no way I would forgive her so I will not feel bad for my reactions to this. I went silent on her and it gave me piece of mind. For her it drove her crazy.

Like I said I will give a full update but not on my phone. I miss my family very much. I miss my Ex and the life we had. And I regret how it impacted our kids.

I don't regret how I reacted to her cheating. If she keeps her mouth and vagina away from another dick this all would have been avoided.

Full update this weekend.

I'm still baffled that some people come in here for the sole purpose of trying to get SG to R. He considered it and decided against it and has not looked back, painful as it may be. I can respect that.

I will however take exception to the dig at spouses that may have let themselves go a bit and were surprised they were cheated on. No one deserves to be cheated on and it is rightfully surprising when the ultimate betrayal occurs.

I agree Mark6. Even if a spouse 'lets themselves go' does not mean they deserve to be cheated on

I'm kind of shocked this keeps coming up. SG dealt with it very well. I wish I had but my circumstances were very different. Looking back, things weren't as bleak as I saw them. I wish I had reacted similarly but that's in the past and I'm mostly happily living in the present.

SG, seems like no matter much you attempt to just be, you're always going to be a legend around these parts.

I read your story from the start, and it made me have the courage to write my own story.

SpaceGhost-

I came to this site today after being away for many years to see if there was someone I could help, if I could pay it forward by sharing and advising. Instead I found your post and found that you really struck a chord with me. Your strength is an inspiration. Your approach is a model that I wish I had once followed when I was in your shoes 13 years ago. I recognize how tough this must be for you, the sadness and roller coaster feelings you must feel. I am so amazed that you are rising above and moving to swift and clear action. I know this is a long road of healing/recovering as do you.....but just wanted to say how in awe & impressed I am.

It's been 13 years since I divorced my spouse after his infidelity. I too thought I had the perfect husband, was the perfect wife and had won the lottery.

Just a month before I discovered his infidelity I was hearing "you are the love of my life" and "you are my once-in-a-lifetime love". only to learn he was saying those same words to an OW.

Like you, I moved quickly to divorce. My situation different in that my husband was continuing to lie to me and try to hide the affair. Like you I shared evidence with OW's husband. But I continued to stay the course of divorce. And like you I don't know what it was inside my husband that caused him to cheat. Unlike you, I confronted too early before I had ROCK SOLID evidence and before I had a plan. My divorce was as a result of being in a zombie state and going through motions that my mother and friends told me to pursue. Nonetheless in my situation it was the best thing I did and I was able to move on.

I loved my husband and thought I was growing old with my best friend. But I realized I loved who I thought he was, not who he really was.

Take care Space Ghost.....and stand proud for moving forward as I truly believe you will not regret it. It takes great courage and strength to do what you've done.

[This message edited by gemini_june_20 at 1:11 AM, June 24th (Friday)]

There is no dig at other people for letting themselves go. Even if people do let themselves go or life gets in the way nobody deserves to be cheated on.

This is my life my story. I was doing what I thought were the right things and it didn't stop her from cheating. If the OM was a hot guy and I had gained 100 pounds I might have blamed myself. The OM is wealthy and I thought at the time maybe she wants him because of all that money.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on. If you are a crappy husband or wife your spouse should discuss the problem and you both fix it or divorce. Some spouses may have a legitimate complaint in the marriage but no matter what it is they don't get to screw other people. Just get a divorce.

We all do have to own our treatment of our spouses in our marriage. All of us can ruin our marriages by not meeting the needs of our spouse. If you are a man and you stop talking to your wife and your out drinking with your buddies every night and ignoring her... You are opening the door for another man. That behavior does not make it OK for the wife to cheat. Just like if you're a wife and don't feel like having sex with your husband anymore so you stop having sex... You are opening the door for another woman. That does not make it OK for the guy to cheat.

I am sure some will be offended about what I just wrote for some reason. No matter what your marriage is you fix the problem or divorce and then you can sleep with whoever you want. It is never OKAY to start screwing someone else.

Out for now.

Amen Brother well said.

Update?!

I am looking forward to your update

Everything ok?

We are anxiously waiting for your update man!!

I am sure some will be offended about what I just wrote for some reason.

Nope .....i agree...

and sometimes a divorce is the result of infidelity .....

Bufffalo

Hi there,

About two months ago my husband told me he loved me but was not in love with me any more. I thought it was a cop out because feelings ebb and flow all the time. After trying my hardest to relight the flame, I just found out Friday night that he has been having an emotional affair, he confessed to kissing but I am scared there is more. I have always felt that I would be done no matter what if there was an affair but now I think I could forgive. He doesn't want to work it out says he can't change his feelings, doesn't love me. What should I do now? I feel lost! Help

Hi, nic. Welcome to SI.

You may want to start a new thread of your own so you can get direct support.

You can copy what you posted on this thread, go to the Just Found Out forum page that lists all the threads, and click on the "Post New Topic" link at the top of the page. Then you can paste your post in the message box and start your thread.

So sorry you need to be here, but glad you found us.

Hi Nic and welcome to SI.

Can you please start your own thread? This is a very large thread and I fear you will be lost and no-one will find you to help.

It's easy to start your own thread. Just click on the "post new topic".

We are here to help.

k9

I'm thinking we aren't going to get that update

No matter what your marriage is you fix the problem or divorce and then you can sleep with whoever you want. It is never OKAY to start screwing someone else.

I agree with SG007. IT IS NEVER OK !!

If only I had known........

(Posting to keep track of this thread) there's no subscribe button to follow a thread?

I thought you were gonna give us an update I just re read your posts for like the 3rd time and I really want to know what it's not happening in your life.