SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

E mail response I am going to call JAG in the morning

Remember, ask all those you talk with to spell their complete names, even if the name is Smith.

yiu can also find his chain of command online. whatever step you talked to before go UP one or two steps and report it there new. dont tell them youve already reported it so it starts ?s rolling back and forth. that ramps uo serious pressure.

Good luck today brother

Got a little heated around here this am. WW said that my actions took any chance of ever R off the table and were childish vindictive and done out of spite because OMNdid nothing wrong, she planned to leave before him, he's a saint, blah blah blah. Said he is innocent in all this that she destroyed the family not him. I shouldn't hold any illwill towards him. How could I do this and ruin everything he worked so hard for. Easy, he did it to me.

I wouldn't even give her the time of day. Just memorize a Captain America speech about doing the right thing for your country.

Why bother bargaining with crazy? You'd have to be crazy yourself.

I wouldn't say anything to her. I would walk away from her. I wouldn't let her feel she has any power or her words hold any value to me anymore.

The best tool you have is indifference. You can care you just don't have to show her you do.

C

lol and read this

"I will never reconcile with you because you were mean to my boyfriend"

Dude.

DUDE

DUDE!!!!

Make a deal with her.

She packs her crap and gets out of your house and your town immediately (leaving the kids and moving back to WV), and in return you'll stop any 'additional' action against the OM.

Your wife lives in another universe--one wholly detached from reality.

Frankly, I'd fear leaving my kids with her for any length of time.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 3:51 PM, September 19th (Tuesday)]

GW,

Do not engage with her; do not argue with her; do not explain to her; do not justify to her. She chose to do what she chose to do, without asking your permission, and you are choosing to react as you see fit, without asking her permission.

Seriously, and as difficult as it may be, give her the silent treatment. Or, if you feel you have to say something, just repeat, "There is nothing more to discuss". Let that be your mantra, regardless of what she says when she is in one of her 'moods'. Repeat it, repeat it, repeat it. She will hate it, but it won't take long before she learns that her stupid and illogical statements are not going to press your buttons.

Focus your time, energy, and emotions on your kids. They need you, and you need them. Be SuperDad to them. Make a fuss of them. Strengthen your connection with them. They are your future.

As for the saintliness of the OM, I did some Googling, and found:

Saint Adelaide of Burgundy (Patron Saint of Second Marriages)

Saint Gengulphus of Burgundy (Patron Saint of Difficult Marriages)

Saint Joseph (Patron Saint of Married People)

Saint Monica (Patron Saint of Married Women)

Saint Priscilla (Patron Saint of Good Marriages)

Saint Rita of Cascia (Patron Saint of Difficult Marriages)

Saint Thomas More (Patron Saint of Difficult Marriages)

Saint Valentine (Patron Saint of Happy Marriages)

What I couldn't find was any reference to a patron saint of infidelity and home-wrecking. Weirdly, no-one but your wife seems to see those qualities as laudable or praiseworthy.

GW,

While I'm happy the POSOM is finally receiving some ramifications for destroying your family, I feel bad that you have to deal with this level of insanity. The "fog" doesn't seem to begin to describe your WW. She is delusional to think for one second that you would simply sit around, allowing her to cake eat, live at home and pretend nothing is wrong, buy gifts for OM and flaunt it in your face without consequences. You are a strong ass dude for putting up with all of this. I congratulate you on your ability to handle this the way you have. There aren't many men I know that could keep it together the way you have. Take solace in the fact that it's nearly over for her and lover boy. He's going to drop her VERY soon. Hopefully she'll see the light at some point.

BTW, the "you lost any opportunity to R" comment made me LOL. She truly thinks she is a prize, doesn't she? That you would simply wait for her to make up her mind is not only crazy, it's narcissistic to the N'th degree. Keep that VAR on you at ALL times brother.

Oh and PS: If I were in your shoes, one night I'd get nice and dressed up and leave to go visit a "friend" for a couple of hours. If you don't have one, just go to a bar or get dinner for yourself. Let her know YOU are the prize she should be fighting for (even though she doesn't know she can't win)

Delusional puts it mildly.

Said he is innocent in all this that she destroyed the family not him.

So she admits it's her fault for destroying the family.

she planned to leave before him,

Well, what's stopping her now then?

I shouldn't hold any ill will towards him

Tell her you don't, it against her.

Ask if you can help her pack.

"I will never reconcile with you because you were mean to my boyfriend"

Sharkman

I rather like Dismayed's suggestion:

Make a deal with her.

She packs her crap and gets out of your house and your town immediately (leaving the kids and moving back to WV), and in return you'll stop any 'additional' action against the OM.

Tell her you will swear this before God in front of your family and friends as witnesses. Just like marital vows or something like that

Seriously, it would be so advantageous in divorce proceedings to get her to leave the house and kids. She might be irrational enough to do it. Then do whatever the fuck you want with the military. And it would also speed up the inevitable flameout of their relationship. Unless they really are true twin flame soulmates, but maybe that's just the hopeless romantic in me

Again, you are still vulnerable with respect to false DV, custody, and other and/or hardball tactics that will cost you something. I hope your reasons for holding off on filing are really bankruptcy related and not misplaced hope. But we've plowed that ground already so I won't belabor it.

It truly is bankruptcy. I have to do that to save the house. As far as her leaving, unfortunately she's not that irrational yet. I offered to buy her a plane ticket to fly down and play house forever with him and she refused. She will not leave the kids she says.

Then keep up the pressure on the loser if you're waiting on other things. DESTROY HIM.

The purpose is to force her into irrational behavior. You need her thinking with her emotions and not her brain. Though I'll admit, I'll take your brain versus her brain any day of the week.

What was the result of your call to the military?

It seems as though my OM has become everybody's OM...... lol

Shark man what is the benefit to me of her beginning to have irrational behavior? It's not going to affect the outcome of the divorce any at all. Even as far as custody. We are 50-50 here in the state and she's already greed to give up everything