SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

She's expecting a chink in the armour, a groveling demonstration of need.

Hold firm.

Your resolve to get out of infidelity must exceed her deceptions.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 12:09 PM, August 30th (Wednesday)]

Hang in there GW!

Started fresh yesterday with the 180! Today I waited until I knew she had left for work to come home from work. Today talk is strictly business. She's gotten a cold or the flu and usually i babied the hell out of her. Now it's just business. She can fend for herself, and wonder whyOM can't comfort her...... lol

BIG KNOCK BABY!!!!!!

U da man!

Power yields only to power; it always has, and always will.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 7:22 PM, August 30th (Wednesday)]

Seems as tho there may be some issues between her an OM.... lol not near as much texting and she's posting sarcastic memes . Starting to leave her phone unattended and wanting to talk more. I'm too busy to talk. Got yard work and legal work to tend to.....

See how good detachment feels? Awesome work Gw, handled like a boss.

Yeah, the Affair Unicorn is running out of glitter to fart out and sprinkle over the two of them.

Have you separated your finances yet?

If not, you need to open a new bank account, at a completely new bank that she has no connection with, ASAP.

Then move your direct deposit there, if you use it.

Oh she took care of that a while back. That bastard sent her 100$ to open an account of her own and she reidirected her direct deposit without telling me. Several bounced checks later i found out. Took her off our account. Wonder how long it will take for this to fizzle out......

I would still open a new account elsewhere, as I'm sure she still has your account info and can cause problems even if she isn't on it anymore.

Having a new account at a different bank ensures she has absolutely zero access, no matter what.

Well I guess my wife and OM are still communicating. Got on her FB acccount and she is liking everything he's posting. I need to call the military back today and do a status check. He needs to go away.

Hello again everyone. Couldn't sleep tonight, all I could do was think. I have gotten so much great advice and words of encouragement and strength here. I'm full on engaged in the 180 right now, and have given her a divorce packet to doing off on. Like I have mentioned previously her time has changed but I'm sure this shit is still ongoing. At the risk of sounding like a complete nut job, i was thinking all night tonight about how I can get us to a place where we can work this out and build something again. She told me a while back that she didn't want to be with me but with him instead. He's three states away and has no interest in her moving there.i know this is a fantasy land deal, and I'm still waiting for the military to respond. What could I do in the interim to speed the death of this along? As bad as she has treated me thru out this I still shave very strong feelings for her...... I flip flop between saying fuck it and trying to fix it.

Stay 180. I know that night time is the hardest.

She may come around, she may not. You are taking back your power.

Hang in there friend.

[This message edited by Wool94 at 5:51 AM, August 31st (Thursday)]

Read through the forum about detachment. There are a number of great posts on it. Think about it as losing a limb - it happened suddenly so your literal instincts still don't know what happened.

Get angry. Very angry. She's been communicating with him while pulling this charade with you. Anger can be a good emotion to power you through this. Obviously use it in a healthy manner.

Write here. Seriously at this point this is a big portion of the game. Write down any little thought you have. It helps getting it out.

And yes, call the military back. Call different people. Call everyone!!!

Thanks Sharkman! At this point, right in this moment, I want this to be a bad dream. I know it's not. I want to shake her and tell her to wake up. I can't. I want to tell her how bad it hurts and how much I still love her, I won't. I know what I have to do, but I still can't help, right here, right now, wanting to end the affair and get is back somehow. It will never be like it was, but it could be new again. When I have theses type nnights all I can think about is how to end the affair and get her back. It sucks.

You have told your kids right? Your parents and her parents and the kids know she wants to move them three states away to live with her boyfriend, right? You have done everything to blow this affair up right?

Haven't told the kids and there is no parents to deal with. She has no plans to move because they "aren't ready for that, it will be a long time" . Other than turn OM in and follow the advice I've gotten I don't know what else to do to blow it up. Can't tell her to stop because she won't. Hopefully me moving back in has caused them issues and the military will too.

How did she react to being given the divorce papers, again? Have you spoken to her about paying off the rent on the apartment?

Hard 180 while things are going down hill for her is your best approach for ending this affair and getting back on track. Follow up with the military and ask if there is anything else you can to do help with the investigation...expose to family and friends... and hard 180.

Being friendly, supportive and nice will have the opposite effect. She will feel comfortable in her affair and cake eating. Don't do the pick me dance.

It's time to get an actual lawyer to sit you down and detail precisely what the next steps are. 'How long until I can get her out of the house' is one billion percent a lawyer question.

Get in there today