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You all are very nice to try to make me feel better. I appreciate it.. but you all dont really know me. I can totally be nasty. Like SUPER mean.

I do think maybe thats my place in the family, the tell it like it is gal, so maybe i am codependent and taking too much bs.

I have a therapy appt tomorrow so i will bring this up!

I have emailed my sister back and said the goal is get mom to Germany. I just need an answer to tell the travel agent, yes, we are getting vaxxed so keep our tickets, or no, please take our 2 tickets off the bill.

I have deleted wo reading several emails from sis and bil, and have worked on plans for the trip rather than giving them too much headspace .

(This on the advice of my therapist. Stop giving people headspace!)

Oh… the emails i deleted i could read the first line of… so i knew they were mean!

Sorry for 3 posts in
Row, should go and correct my original post but im trying to get this out fast before i get my kiddo.

I wondered to my mom if they are jelly that they cant go???

And thats why they are being jerkwads.

Its probably many things. Which sucks. Honestly, i just want more people to love and support and do the same for me!!! If you are doing well thats awesome! ESPECIALLY my sister. Ugh! Im a total bragger about my sisters.

Oh GOOD LORD. Your sister is a huge piece of work. Your BIL too.

I'd just respond "Thanks for your concern. I will take care of my arrangements and you can take care of yours, it's just easier that way."

Just keep responding with that and never say anything else. They'll eventually stop.

Why you want to travel with them is beyond me however!!!!

You all are very nice to try to make me feel better. I appreciate it.. smile but you all dont really know me. I can totally be nasty. Like SUPER mean.

You've done a good job of hiding that here, lol. And if you're super mean to just these people in particular, I'm not sure that's uncalled for. They sound like they could use a bit of their rudeness back. Seriously though, good lord don't base your likeability on what jerks think of you.

Seriously though, good lord don't base your likeability on what jerks think of you.

Yep. This area needs some work. You seem to want to win jerks over in life (family included) instead of ignoring them or cutting them loose. Why? Why do you give so much time and attention to poor quality people?

Why do you give so much time and attention to poor quality people?

I dont know! Super weird isnt it?! Although its usually just my inlaws…. But i have always been so obsessed with why dont they like me?!?

This sister is weird, its both a money thing and a jealousy thing. I know not having kids was a big blow to her, and especially when i got pregnant at 40 she was jealous. (She bitched at me and said, "oh is this to save your marriage").

I have soooo many good things going on, why doni obsess about the crappy things?

If we accept that out of the nearly 8 billion people on Earth there will inevitably be some that won’t like you, then these two would probably be OK to have on the not-like-list .

Germany is very clear on the vaccine requirement. They won’t be turned away at the border, but right away at the check-in desk at the point of departure for the international flight. Flight carriers are VERY strict on this because if they were to bring someone to a Schengen/EEU country that doesn’t meet entry-requirement the carrier is financially responsible for getting them back and for any fines and fees.

Please – if you stick to traveling with them DO NOT check in with them! Best would be for you and your family to have your boarding passes already and to be well ahead of them at the check-in desk! You do not want to be associated with them when they start the argument with airport-staff. If they do get past check-in, then do your best to get past immigration and customs once in Germany ahead of them!


No joking… this can be the difference between you doing your trip or being turned back right away with no possibility of a refund.

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My step-son was married to a woman who didn’t like me or my wife. Nothing we did (honestly!) but it was clear she didn’t want us in their lives in any way or form. We are not the meddling in-law type of people and all we wanted was to possibly visit, be visited and maybe an occasional family dinner. No chance with her.
We simply kept out distance. Didn’t argue with her or give her any reason to support her decision. We visited with son when possible, he visited us when possible…
Honestly – I wasn’t too disappointed when she told him she wanted a divorce.

I wondered to my mom if they are jelly that they cant go???

And thats why they are being jerkwads.

Its probably many things. Which sucks. Honestly, i just want more people to love and support and do the same for me!!! If you are doing well thats awesome! ESPECIALLY my sister. Ugh! Im a total bragger about my sisters.

Completely relate to this. I am still clinging to the idea that I can be close to my sisters. Abuser and enabler both. I definitely did damage to the relationship during the fallout of my A. However, there really wasn't much of a relationship to begin with? Seems like we only unite under a common enemy- mom when she's acting up. Or my potential D.

I'm like you too. I want people to succeed and do well and be happy. I like supporting people when I can and cheer them on in that. Just not my BH when he was doing dangerous things to our family (extravagant spending) in order to "make himself happy." He's learning his FOO stuff around that and has improved his perspective on it. I'm cheering him on the best I can with that .

Anyway, what do you have to brag about with this sister? She seems embittered and unable to confront her own issues in life. Money management- I've learned it's as easy to mismanage $10,000 as it is $100,000. That's on them to figure out and quit relying on mom to bail them out.

Definitely ask the travel agent to separate their tickets from yours. I don't know for sure, but perhaps you can request they take the tickets off your trip itinerary and call your sister for payment before they cancel. See if the agent can request payment from them, reimburse you, and if they don't pay, cancel the tix. I would tell sis, "since you are having trouble deciding on the trip, I am separating the tickets out. I have made it clear to the travel agent she is to contact you for payment. If you do not wish to pay for them, they will be cancelled. As you are not vaccinated, we can't be responsible for you entering Germany as they require vaccination to enter their country. We will not jeopardize our trip on this."

No worries, I will be emailing the tour agent to say they are not going. I dont want my mom to pay for them when they will not be going.

Anyway, what do you have to brag about with this sister? She seems embittered and unable to confront her own issues in life.

Soooo much! You are right she is bitter and jealous, but on tge other hand shes cool too! She biked through Europe when she was 18. For a month, rode a freaking bike thru Europe! She has parachuted, she loves dogs like crazy, she was a collegiate swimmer and held a regional relay title in our area. I think it still stands like 35 years later!!!

Shes left handed (freaking cool!) and has had tge same best friend since they were 5. (They swam on that relay team that hold tge regional record together!)

Shes ziplined in Costa Rica, kissed the Blarney stone and makes a mean Thanksgiving spread! Shes amazing and ai love her and wish she wasnt being such an asshat.

Oh! And when we were kids, the whole neighborhood was sledding down our/ the next door neighbors hill. Bunch of kids. We lived in a new neighborhood that didnt get much traffic, and the lots across the street didnt have houses yet.

So all of the kids were sledding down the huge hill and across the road into the vacant lot

Of course. My turn. Im the youngest there (sis is & years older than me and most kids were her age) So Im about 5 and shes 13.

I put the sled down and start to go when a car drives thru. My sister grabs my jacket hood and literally lifts me off the ground, legs dangling, and the sled goes across the street. (Had I not been grabbed by sis, it would have been ok since the car stopped before it got to us, but still)

Shes not all great. She was my matron of honor and did nothing (never went dress shopping or showed interest, even though she got married 18 mos before). I didnt have a bridal shower or any support at all. After the wedding I went to friends weddings and thought, i wish i knew to do this! Something a sister whos been married and at 29 would know about more than me, who was 21 and hadnt been to many weddings and didnt know what i was doing. She often calls me a liar when I am not! She yelled at me when I told her I was pregnant with baby 3 because she said my husband sucks. She is against me taking flying saying if I die she raises my kids… Its just a complicated relationship.