SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Squid- just piping in to say I see your situation as on the verge. Of a new career, anew home, a new start. I switched careers after losing my job just after d-day, lost my house, etc. sucked and was hard and exhausting. I got through it and so will you. Keep moving forward, knocking on doors yo find the right job.

You will be a great SO for the right lady. I get the lonely, but you are right to chase excellence.

Can’t wait to see your next chapter.

T/j glad to see your name as well, Ohfor!

End of T/j

Hi Squid,

Just seeing your post or I would have responded sooner. Slumps and moments like these just suck. They do. I’m a list maker and check it off your list kind of girl or I get completely overwhelmed. Some of the great people on SI have read my posts where I’m overwhelmed with everything going on. Take each task step by step, check it off.

1. House. I get that feeling of needing to make changes. I’m keeping my house after D is final and the size is manageable but I definitely want to make changes as far as expenses. STBXH isn’t very savvy and likes things not needed. I’ll start there. Yours is about the size of your home and the desire to downsize. Make a list of things you need to accomplish in your home to prepare it for a sale. Talk with realtors and interview and go with one you feel comfortable with. Start looking for places you’re interested in moving to so you have an idea of new places and prices. Moving is daunting but get your house and things in order, get organized so you make the move smoother. Enlist the help of friends and family when it’s time to move. Professional movers can be pricey and if you’re staying in your area, just do it yourself with help. If you need extra help, reach out. I know lots down there who will work for pizza. 😊

2. Job. I understand this dilemma and it’s very stressful. What is your new career field if you don’t mind me asking? I have found that networking is key when gaining opportunities for interviews. Once you get the interview it’s on you to show what you’ve got, but don’t ever feel bad about networking. Do you have connections you can reach out to? Church friends, professional resources, neighbors etc?

3. 401K issue. Seems like you’re working on it and that will get situated soon. Stay on top of it so you know it’s resolved properly.

4. Kids. So happy you’re freshman is doing well. HS transition can be stressful so that’s a good thing! I love when siblings help each other. I hope your daughter is doing well and heals from her breakup.

5. Women. I wish I could help here more and offer some profoundly inspiring advice. Many know my story and I’m finally D’s after a long and very difficult 20 years. I’m trying to heal myself. A friend gave me great advice and said to give yourself time to heal. Maybe try the dating world again by taking it slowly, enjoy he process again? I say that and I’m actually chucking because I don’t even know what that looks like either. I wish I had better advice.

6. Work on you and feeling better. Exercise, eat healthy, find hobbies you like, and just breathe. Pray. Make new friends and spend time with friends you have. And know you’re worth it and believe you’re a catch!

I hope this helps.

@20yrs - FL here too. Meet up would be great! I vote yes too!

[This message edited by Hutch at 1:53 PM, September 8th (Sunday)]

{{T/J on my own thread}}

ohfor, it's so nice to see you around! Just a couple of days ago I checked your profile to see if you were still checking in.

{{end T/J}}

I appreciate the encouragement, all. I do have industry connections in another state (NC) and that is a possibility. Which would take care of the job and new house part. My only hesitance is the guilt I'd feel for taking the boys that live with me now away from their mother. But if an opportunity arose I would jump on it.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Glad to hear you have options and connections. I know for your boys sake it would be nice to stay where you are but sometimes relocation happens. I wish you the very best in your search.

I appreciate the encouragement, all. I do have industry connections in another state (NC)

Well the good news here is you already know at least 1 person in NC. And he just happens to be a SI Brother 😉