FaithfulAche,
I have visited this forum for years yet never posted, upon reading your story, I feel compelled. I had been married almost 10 years, we had two children, 4 year old daughter and 18 month old son. My wife was a stay at home mom. Friday evening I was preparing to head home from work when I received a phone call that someone needed to meet me in a parking lot on the other side of town, this was not unusual in my line of work. I arrive and am served divorce papers, TOTAL shock, I had ZERO clue. I get home, house is pretty much cleaned out, she and the kids are gone, I have no idea where. Her father had the audacity to call me, inform me not to bother looking for them, I would not find them. She was the mom and they "belonged to her". To describe it as panic mode is an understatement. Now, my wife paid all the bills. I investigate, she has not made the house payment in 6 months, same with the car. Nor the phone bill (my cellular actually got shut off that night for lack of payment, electricity, insurance, well you get the idea, nothing. I check bank accounts, EVERYTHING has been pulled out, including our children’s college fund. Literally nothing left. She had concocted this for 6 months and harbored every Penny to keep for herself. I began digging, discovered she had a PO Box and had opened credit cards under assumed names. WHO is this person? As you referenced earlier, can it get worse? Yes, and it did, repeatedly. I had to keep digging, protect myself, many of the financial moves you have already made. They were missing for two weeks before I could get in front of a judge who demanded the children be returned to me that day. He stated I could remain in the house, and have the children with me for two weeks straight before the house would be returned to her, I would have to get an apartment and 50/50 temporary custody orders. That evening when my wife arrived to return the children, ready for what she said?
How could YOU do this to ME? Where am I supposed to live for the next two weeks?!? That’s when I first began reading up on narcissistic disorder, and as a previous poster stated once the scales from my eyes were removed I realized she had it in SPADES. It was not easy getting through it, I didn’t even have a spoon when I left the house and a metric ton of debt, and zero in the bank. I think you are way ahead of me being so pro active. One month I ate 60 pounds of baking potatoes for food, it’s all I could afford. I can go on for days about so many additional discoveries and hardships. Why do I tell you all this? That happened 22 years ago, I have since been married to the most beautiful, loving woman in the world for 17 years. I have NEVER been happier, we are financially extremely sound, and have the best life ever. There will be struggles, but you will get through this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I promise it is NOT an oncoming train