Wife behaving inappropriately when drinking

I have lurked for years but only posted once. I have always been grateful for the collective wisdom on this site.

I apologize in advance for the length of my post and hope it’s on the appropriate forum. My wife and I have been married for over 18 years, we are partners, lovers and best friends. I could not be happier in my marriage. We have 3 rules: neither of us has drinks with the opposite sex unless our spouse is with us, we never dance with anyone but each other, we do not complain about each other to a member of the opposite sex.

This weekend my wife and I attended her high school reunion. It is a very close tight knit community, most have remained there for generations, I am an outsider so I have never been accepted. Only 35 in the graduating class so even with spouses less than 70 people. A facility was rented out and the event catered. It was BYOB. My wife brought a 750 ml bottle of vodka. As soon as we arrived she began to consume heavily. I abstained. It did not take long and she became very tipsy. The event lasted four hours. Although she did have a great time with her girlfriends, whom I met it was her behavior with the men in her class that concerned me.

Throughout the evening she kept trying to get different men to hold hands with her, or when the photographer would take her photos with them she would put her arm around their backs and put her hand under their shirt and rub their back, she would do it subtly but I could see it. As music played she continued to try and get them to dance with her. She is very attractive, I was appalled (she was wearing tight jeans) when she began to ask various men if her ass looked better than other classmates. The entire time she just left me in the corner by myself, as I did not know anyone.

I finally had enough and said we are leaving. When we got home I saw she had consumed around 3/4 of the bottle. The next morning I confronted her, she says she has very little recollection, when I explained the details of her interactions she says she is completely shocked and ashamed. I told her that I was completely immasculated and very hurt, I don’t even know if I can trust her and that has never been the case.

She is extremely attractive but she’s also very much an introvert so the behavior to this level was just bizarre, the men were not even attractive and it did not even matter which man she was with.

My concerns are how to move forward? I realize rug sweeping is not an option. Although she blames the alcohol but what does that mean? If it was just lowering her inhibitions does that mean this is really how she feels and what she would like to be doing?
Any guidance is appreciated

26 comments posted: Thursday, October 10th, 2024