Minnesota (original poster member #50615) posted at 3:29 AM on Tuesday, July 7th, 2026
I was here 10, well? Eleven years ago. I did some things right and some things wrong and I lived through it. I pissed off some people here because I didn’t do some of the things they said to do. I did the best I could and I got through it.
Like other newbies, I think I was insane for awhile. I had obsessive thoughts, self doubts, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. (the SI diet is real) I tried to figure everything out. I tried to save my M, I gave up on my M, I learned to trust my gut. I looked for ways to LIVE. I forgave her. (Not saying it’s required). I participated in some BAN support group meetings. And it took some time.
But I got through it.
And so will you. If you want to.
I know of that dark pit where you can’t believe you’re spinning around in. I know your whole world is maybe spinning in the wrong direction. And you have to function normally in your roles. And you wonder if the sun is going to rise tomorrow (and you kind of hope it doesn’t).
But it does.
And you will too. If you want to.
And there’s a guy in Minnesota who is cheering for you.
Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:35 PM on Tuesday, July 7th, 2026
Hey Minnesota - I remember your active time here. Glad to see you are doing well and got through the shitstorm that is infidelity.
Your message is accurate and appreciated. It is so hard to see that things really do get better when you are in the thick of it.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:45 PM on Tuesday, July 7th, 2026
Good to hear from you. I still remember the great g2g you hosted. I've forgotten your son's name, but how's his cubbyhole? Did you expnad it as he grew? 
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
AnnieOakley ( member #13332) posted at 9:01 PM on Tuesday, July 7th, 2026
I remember you MN….. I’m originally from ND.
For a split second i thought you were back because of additional infidelity. Glad to see that is not the case and that you have survived… and that you indeed got through it.
Cheers. 🥂
[This message edited by AnnieOakley at 9:02 PM, Tuesday, July 7th]
Me= BSHim=xWH (did the work & became the man I always thought he was, but it was too late)M=23+,T=27+dday=7/06, 8/09 (pics at a work function), 11/09 VAR, 6/12 Sep'd, 10/14 Divorced."If you are going through hell, keep going."
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 9:30 PM on Tuesday, July 7th, 2026
Hey Minnesota! I remember you too! Lots of health issues you went through around that miserable time, as I recall. So what a great update! (I see the Big D in your Signature line. That must have been rough but therapeutic...)
