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Summertime22 (original poster member #79796) posted at 12:41 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2023
Hi everyone at SI
I just wanted to reach out to everyone at SI to say thank you. I’ve been away for a few months now and I would consider myself well on the road towards healing, and a massive part of that healing was the support I received here.
It’s just over a year since since my world was upended by the person I loved and trusted. I know now that trust was misplaced and I ignored or was blind to red flags. Time and NC makes you see things very, very clearly.
I just wanted to say thank you to you all. You were there for me every step of the way. My rock. I could talk to you when my friends didn’t know what to say. You were there for me when I didn’t want to ‘burden’ my friends. You were there for me when I couldn’t go into work and went off sick. You were there for me when I was at my lowest. I didn’t have to be OK with you. I remember a night when I cried on my sofa all night- I sent a message and you were all there and your messages of support kept me going when I felt I couldn’t keep going. You have sound, practical and helpful advice. I never felt judged but your honesty-especially around the all important NC- helped me move forward.
Thank you all. It’s hard to put into words how your support pulled me through- and it did pull me through. I will never forget the support I received here and it is my hope that my future posts will help others.
Anyone that is new and going through the pain we all know only too well, please keep posting. It was my lifeline many times. I remember an SI soul posting that it gets better- I never believed it- but honestly, it does get better. It really does.
As for my XWS I’m glad he has gone! I never thought I would say that. I see now that I dodged a bullet as my SI friends said all those months ago. I blamed myself for his cheating, I don’t anymore. My self confidence is returning.
Newbies keep going and keep posting. It really does get easier. And SI is always there for you.
Thank you again.
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 12:50 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2023
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 1:46 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2023
Thanks for the update it will certainly help new members trying to find their way out of infidelity hell.
Best Wishes to you
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years
ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 2:52 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2023
Summer, you sound incredibly strong and very determined! So glad you're doing well and realizing that your ex was definitely holding you back! So glad you came back to offer such sage advice to others just starting their journey. You deserve nothing less than EVERYTHING!
Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 3:19 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2023
Aww yay!! I remember how much you struggled early on and I am SO very glad you've turned the corner!
I've said the same thing about SI so many times. This place saved my sanity. Is why I stick around 4+ years later, to pay it forward. You will too.
(((Summertime22))) <----happy hug
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:57 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2023
The early days are so excruciatingly painful. I remember crying and obsessively refreshing the page to see if somebody, anybody posted something that would make the pain go away. Unfortunately, healing doesn't quite go like that. I was so thankful for the people who were able to provide guidance and help me to regain confidence in myself and help while I got out of infidelity.
Your story really touched my heart, and I'm glad you're doing well.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Summertime22 (original poster member #79796) posted at 8:18 PM on Monday, February 27th, 2023
Aww thank you all so much for your kind comments! I really appreciate it! SI is such a wonderful place for anyone going through the trauma of infidelity. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without it. You guys were there for me every step of the way. I will never forget it!
I still have days where I’m angry but I am mostly good.
I will certainly stay on here to try to help out in anyway I can. Those early months are so bad I can’t even put it into words! If I can help someone in even a small way that would be amazing.
Thank you all. X
Notagain6526 ( new member #82911) posted at 9:20 PM on Monday, February 27th, 2023
Thank you for posting.
I'm at the start of a very painful journey but truly your post brings me hope.
Summertime22 (original poster member #79796) posted at 9:29 PM on Monday, February 27th, 2023
(((Notagain)))
Thank you for your message and sending you a hug. I can only empathise as I know how it feels in the early months. I just wish none of us have to go through it.
I went through it all, losing weight, medication, no sleep etc.
But I know now the only thing I lost was a problem.
What I know now is that I can get through it. We all do and then we truly know our own strength. You can do this and we are with you.
Notagain6526 ( new member #82911) posted at 9:32 PM on Monday, February 27th, 2023
Thank you.
I just looked at your profile
We have same Dday just a year later for me. Im taking that as a sign.
All the best with rest of your healing.
[This message edited by Notagain6526 at 9:32 PM, Monday, February 27th]
Summertime22 (original poster member #79796) posted at 9:45 PM on Monday, February 27th, 2023
((Not again))
Maybe it is a sign.😄 It is really early days for you and I can recall just how I felt this time last year. It was so hard I couldn’t put it into words. I still can’t. It was the hardest experience of my life.
But I didn’t realise that everyday I must have been healing in some small way. I was slowly getting stronger. I booked my diary out with friends, even if I didn’t stay long just being out helped, even for half an hour. I never thought it would get easier but it really, really does! A holiday with a friend helped too. It takes time but every day you get through it and every day you get a little stronger.
SI was my saving grace. I’m needed to talk to people who I didn’t have to be ok with. Keep posting if it helps, it certainly helped me.
My mantra was that all I had lost was a problem (even though I loved him). At it was true. It still is. He is someone else’s problem now.
Sending you strength.
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