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Newest Member: DCS72

Divorce/Separation :
WS going to default on legal separation

Topic is Sleeping.
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 10:54 PM on Friday, July 9th, 2021

I can't believe it. How stupid can he be? I know he will blame me for this too. That I forced him to default somehow

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8922   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8674084
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 11:58 PM on Friday, July 9th, 2021

CBS - what a stupid-head. But typical, right? Of course he's going to blame you. He can't be the bad guy - that's your job.

{{CBS}} Hang in there.

[This message edited by leafields at 11:51 PM, July 9th (Friday)]

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4001   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8674120
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:17 AM on Saturday, July 10th, 2021

He is going to blame you. Because he’s a coward.

A very foolish coward.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14272   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8674193
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nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 3:38 PM on Saturday, July 10th, 2021

I'm betting he was convinced that you would stop this nonsense and drop it before he had to respond to it.

posts: 5232   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 8674263
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 10:45 PM on Saturday, July 10th, 2021

So what does this mean, CB? What happens now? Who is harmed--you, the kids? Is this him having a tantrum and trying to get control back from you?

me: BS/WS h: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5908   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8674355
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 5:34 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

So what does this mean, CB? What happens now? Who is harmed--you, the kids? Is this him having a tantrum and trying to get control back from you?

I honestly cannot figure out why he would do this. I do think that maybe he thought I would drop it. He has been delusional the entire time about me leaving.

When he does find out it defaulted I will be the one to blame for it. He may complain to the kids about it. If he does then yes this would affect the kids too.

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8922   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8674821
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Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 5:47 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

Do you mean he hasn't responded to the petition, so you get what you petitioned to get?

If so, that works out in your favor. It is made VERY clear that the respondent has X number of days to respond.

Did he hire an attorney?

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 8674826
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 crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 6:06 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

Do you mean he hasn't responded to the petition, so you get what you petitioned to get?

If so, that works out in your favor. It is made VERY clear that the respondent has X number of days to respond.

Did he hire an attorney?

Correct he never responded and I was wondering how clear it was to the respondent and you have cleared that up for me

I will get what I petitioned to get so that is good.

He did not hire an attorney. He just wants it all to go away. He told me one time to tell my attorneys to stop sending him paperwork.

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8922   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8674840
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Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 6:47 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

It is very clear to the respondent that they need to respond to the petition. If he is complaining about your attorney sending him things, then he is aware that you have filed and that he could be risking a default judgement if he doesn't respond.

You have an attorney--there is no need to communicate with him any further on this.

It sucks to be him, but he brought this all on himself by not responding as requested.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 8674860
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 9:21 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

He told me one time to tell my attorneys to stop sending him paperwork.

HAHAHAHAHA!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4001   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8674922
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 9:29 PM on Monday, July 12th, 2021

This was the hardest thing for me- letting consequences hit. He’s a grown ass man! If he harasses your kids then let your atty know. Don’t back down or he’ll never take you seriously.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5508   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8674926
Topic is Sleeping.
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