Yeah, I can totally relate to the rage. I thought we had a good marriage - I was looking after the kids, he was working and we would finally spend time together in the evening. We used to go for walks, and go to the library, and just enjoy being together. Weekends we were doing family trips, had bbqs with friends.
Finding out that my husband was just parking his arse home at night and couldn't wait for Monday morning because his COW was back at her house and they couldn't be together, yeah, this hurt like heck. Proof was the constant texting.
Finding out that my husband thought I was a joke because my only "interests" were homeschooling and changing diapers, while he could have adult convos with the COW since she would understand, yeah this hurt.
Finding out that he would seek the COW's advice on what I should do with my own money and my homeschooling (never wanted his expert opinion, I knew what I wanted to do), yeah this hurt.
Finding out that me being me and him talking to me was just to gain more ammo to prove to the COW how stupid I was, yeah this hurt.
Finding out that me being supportive of his career just gave him more time with the OW, yeah, it hurt.
Finding out that he didn't give a shit about being a husband to me and be a good father, but gave 100% to be the perfect OM and weasle his way to be a good step dad, yeah this hurt.
Finding out that it was better and more enjoyable to spend time with the COW than with me, yeah this hurt.
Finding out that she was treated like the Queen Bee while I was getting crumbs, yeah this hurt.
I was a ball of anger for a few years, especially once I started putting all the dots together and could see all the leeway I was giving him to have a nice life, while he was fine putting shit in our couple, for the sake of drama and proving, once again, how shit I was, how unhappy he was being with me, to his mom and to COW.
COW came along and she was the woman of his dreams. Married but married to somebody who was not making her happy. Thanks God ex husband stepped up! Whoohoo! Bet OBS was chuffed knowing a tosser was "better" than him.
So so be it. I wasted 20 years with him, and so did he, obviously, by being in a relationship with a joke.