SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

As some of you know, I am a Canadian snowbird, I travel to Arizona each winter and back to Canada each summer in my RV. Obviously this winter I cannot travel to AZ due to the US/Canada border being closed. I can still fly to anywhere in the USA, but with little or no medical insurance.

Not that big of a deal, I still own a house in Canada (that I had rented to a extended family member), and due to her unexpected changes, moved in with her. It is a large home, 5 bedrooms 3800 sq.ft. so its not like we will be in each others space.

Shortly after I winterize the RV and put it into storage for the winter, and take up residence, I get a call from my DD, she needs a place as her and the boyfriend are splitting and it is his condo that they were cohabitating in. No problem, she comes to the home along with her dog.

A couple of days later, my DS calls and tells us that he suspects his common law wife is engaged in a affair and asks for some guidance on how to find out for sure. (don't be surprised if he shows up on this site).

This has got to be the strangest year yet. What else can possibly happen? Didn't have to wait long for an answer to this question.

DS calls this morning and is in the hospital with stomach pain. Seems when he had a hernia operation a few years back, they installed a "mesh" into the muscle/stomach area. It has somehow got infected, or there is a hemotoxin, they will be draining the area tomorrow and based on what type of fluid is present, will determine the path forward for him medically. He has also lost about 40 lbs due to the infidelity diet that most of us can relate to.

What more can 2020 throw at me? I am almost scared to find out.

(((((Totallydumb))))). So sorry about your pain.

I wish we all had a better year.

Look after your health.

Look on the bright side... you have your DD back by your side and I wish your son a speedy recovery.

Be proud that your children have you and turn to you in their times of need.

We never stop being supportive parents 🙏🏼

Damn. I'd recommend extra insurance on everything the way you're going lol.

In 2021 there will be a new curse word added to our vocabulary. What's the new curse word you ask...2020.

As in:

Where the 2020 have you been?

What the 2020 were you thinking?

Are you 2020 serious?

I agree. 2020 has been unbelievably challenging. I hope your son has a swift recovery.

Please, please don’t ask that question...2020 may have more tricks up her sleeve and I am about done.

Strength to you and your children, yes 2020 is devastating but you will get through this together, and as another poster said the 'being there for each other and the being together' is a valuable thing to have and appreciate.

Helping each other, making the best of it, inner strength to overcome problems and carry on, focus on the positive things and on the self/family, acknowledging that life also includes negative events and allowing oneself to experience negative emotions but keeping a positive outlook and not giving up, concrete action to get rid of the things/persons that are harmful and toxic', we know from SI that it helps to carry on and still enjoy life, you can do this.

Strength and best wishes

Good Luck to your son.

Yes 2020 has been a MF'r of a year. No doubt about that. Sorry you have to stay in the Great White North for winter.

Cooley2here, thank you for your kind words and hugs.

LadyG, you are absolutely correct, I need to focus on the bright side. It is special to have DD next to me again, even though she is in her thirties.

Notthevictem, I should max out all my insurance!

fooled13years, This whole thing is just 2020ed. Thanks for the laugh, I need it.

Shockedmom, if we can get through infidelity, we can handle anything that 2020 will put in our path.

babypuke, thanks for the words of encouragement. It is much appreciated.

tushnurse,

Cooley2here, thank you for your kind words and hugs.

LadyG, you are absolutely correct, I need to focus on the bright side. It is special to have DD next to me again, even though she is in her thirties.

Notthevictem, I should max out all my insurance!

fooled13years, This whole thing is just 2020ed. Thanks for the laugh, I need it.

Shockedmom, if we can get through infidelity, we can handle anything that 2020 will put in our path.

babypuke, thanks for the words of encouragement. It is much appreciated.

tushnurse, I can handle the cold, just put on every piece of clothing I own! Unfortunately over the last few years of snow birding, I have given a lot of the winter garments away. But as silly as this sounds, for some ungodly reason, I managed to keep my old snow shoes!

Thank you all for your kind words of support and encouragement. The humor is greatly appreciated as well.

My DS should have his surgery today. There are no visitors allowed due to covid, however we are keeping in touch with facetime, texts, etc.

Update on DS for those that are interested.

DS is still in the hospital, but is on the road to recovery.

The drainage of the infected area combined with flushing with a saline solution has done wonders.

I facetimed with him again this morning and he is feeling much better.

His doctor should be around later today to discuss further treatment options etc. with him.

On another note, this morning in this province, all healthcare workers have started a "walkout strike", not sure at this time how this will effect my son's recovery.

Thank you all for your care and support.

Good to hear he's doing better!

And here we go again.

DS had his stay in hospital, was discharged and returned to work. Seemed like the infection was under control with antibiotics.

Nope, not so fast, apparently 2020 isn't finished with us yet.

He was working night shift, and had terrible stomach pain, yes right back to the hospital. This time they performed surgery and removed the infected tissue and the mesh.

Also another medical issue reared its ugly head for my son. He had his heart stop twice while on the operating table. Apparently at 40 years old he now needs a pace maker. This really wasn't that big of a surprise, his resting heart rate was 42 bpm. before all this started, which is way too low.

We cannot visit him in the hospital, only visit via online communications/phone texts etc. No person to person contact. At this point we are not sure if/when the pace maker surgery will happen.

(((Totally dumb)))

Wow! So much has happened to you and your family in 2020. Sending prayers for a swift recovery from surgery and a success with the pacemaker. Thank goodness for technology and the ability to FaceTime with your son. Take care of yourself, this is truly stressful.

Sending healing mojo to your son. My goodness what a plateful you’ve had this year!

((TD)). Keeping your son in my prayers and sending all positive thoughts to you and your family. Hang in there!

2020 over and I hope out.....

It's been quite a year, totallydumb, for you and your son. Hopefully. your son will be straightened out with this latest surgery. Perhaps it was a blessing because his heart issues were diagnosed on the operating table. Thank goodness that was caught. The trauma of the infection and adultery may have exacerbated the condition.

I'm sorry to hear the struggles you're going through.

Perhaps it's a blessing, having this in store for your family, that you're all home together? What if you were in AZ and thousands of miles away from your children?

How's it going having a dog at home? Mine has been a great comfort to me.

Wishing your family the best and a quick recovery for your son.

If it helps any, my step dad had a pace maker installed (he's in his 70's...) and is doing MUCH better. That combined with an ablation surgery in Austin TX (I'll ask for his Dr's name if you're interested) have kept him alive these past 3 years. He's outlived all the males in his family with this support- they have a genetic arrythmia condition that kills them off in their late 50's.

Perhaps the stress of his wife's affair brought this on? Either way, I'm sorry to hear about his struggles and wish you guys all the best.

Thanks for the support, all the replies are much appreciated.

My son is recovering in hospital. I facetimed with him and his MD this morning. The plan is to insert the pace maker next week. Apparently these things need to be "calibrated" to the individual, however the procedure to install the pace maker is relatively easy. The patient is usually only administered local anesthetic, and is completely aware of what is going on. If things go well, we might even have him with us for Christmas dinner, but that is a long shot at this time.

My daughter is not handling the situation well, she has been depressed about the whole thing. She did pick up her spirits a little this morning, after we had discussed things with the Doctor. Hopefully this continues. It is her "30 something" birthday on Saturday, we are on restrictions, so a birthday party is out of the question, but if the weather is not too cold, we will have a fire pit in the back yard to celebrate with the dog, which by the way is 14 years old and firmly believes has been put on this planet to have humans bow to all her needs.

Thanks again for the support from my SI family, it really does mean a lot.