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Jaime posted 6/15/2019 10:42 AM

My ex cheated on me in 2005, , with a 22 year old. He was 36, we were together for 20 years although I know he cheated a lot. He was abusive in every sense of the word, sexually, physically and mentally. He’s an awful man. Anyways they got married a few years ago, and honestly I’m over it. I’m happy and her coming into his life was the best thing that ever happened to me. Thing is, she sent me messages telling me how he cheated because I am ugly or not good enough. Someone sent me screenshots of him messaging a 19 year old woman(he’s 49 now) , and it’s evident they’re having an affair. Part of me so badly wants to send these messages to her, but he does still scare me and I feel like he’d know it was me.

We had a 10 year old son and 4 year old daughter when she decided to have a relationship with my husband and I really feel like she should get hers and see these messages. I’m sure she has no easy life living with that lunatic.

I’m torn. What would you do? I’ve had these messages in my possession for two years. I’m so undecided.

ChamomileTea posted 6/15/2019 11:27 AM

Not your problem anymore, Jaime... particularly not if you think he might cause you harm. The OW hasn't gotten away with anything. Whether she catches him or not, she's still living with an unrepentent cheater who is wasting her good years. Hell, if they stay together, she'll probably spend her middle years nursing him through his aging issues. And really, doesn't it kind of warm the cockles of your heart knowing that she'll be the one wiping his ass or helping him with his catheter?

paboy posted 6/15/2019 12:06 PM

2yrs.. It's probably old news now anyway. Just enjoy the karma ride from the back seat, and every time you look into a mirror, congratulate your self that you got away from that abuse.

Jaime posted 6/15/2019 14:04 PM

Thanks guys. I agree. Deleting and moving on 💙

Mizzbak posted 6/15/2019 16:11 PM

I should say that you need to let go of ANY feelings towards her so that she has no power in your life. But, if I may be frank? Get any vengeful pleasure you may need in knowing that you know something that she doesn't, whenever you do think of her. For me, my ignorance (and the OW's knowledge of it) during my H's affair was a big part of the humiliation. You're in that same position of knowledge, without any of the cost. She is probably having a pretty awful time. So yeah - just enjoy the view from waaaaay in the back.

StillLivin posted 6/15/2019 17:55 PM

FTB. Shes petty and small and deserves everything she reaps in life. Why on earth would you warn her. Better would be to just sit back and munch on the popcorn. The longer they are together, the more he cheats on her. Unlike you, she deserves to be made the fool. By warning her, you may send her packing. His next victim may not deserve his BS. Let them be miserable together. Most people project when they're being mean and petty. Everything she said to you must be how she feels about herself. She's lashing out because she's a miserable fuck. Happy people dont behave this way. Walk away and dont let her drag you into their drama. Give her crickets and block her.

Hurtbeyondtime posted 6/15/2019 17:57 PM

Ahhh I would have sent her everything.... she deserves to know 1) she ain’t so special 2) She’s getting played just as he did you.
I have ZERO sympathy for cheaters and if I can dish the Karma Even better.

Marie2792 posted 6/15/2019 21:34 PM

She wanted him, she can have him. Don’t poke the bear by sending her anything. It’s not worth him coming after you.

pureheartkit posted 6/16/2019 17:17 PM

Protect yourself first.

Her messages to you are meaningless. You aren't any of these things. They are lies in the wind.

MamaDragon posted 6/17/2019 10:17 AM

I would be tempted to forward the messages to her and probably say something like "I know how it feels to be in your situation. sucks, right?"

BUT maybe the safer thing to do is tell her she needs to talk to whoever sent you the messages...make her have to do some sleuthing.

Or just buy popcorn and watch what happens!

J707 posted 6/17/2019 11:03 AM

If sending it will make unnecessary drama in your life I would just leave it be. She knows he's a cheater. Part of me would want to send it but the better part of me would just say, what exactly is it going to do to for me. Once again, unnecessary drama and she knows he's a cheater. Let karma handle their lives.

ThisIsSoLonely posted 6/17/2019 12:47 PM

Why on earth would you warn her.

But for the fact that you said you are still scared of your XWS I would - but that's just me. One lie does not beget another in my world...but if you are afraid of him then don't bother (I would however pass on her number to whoever sent me the message and let them tell her if they want to).