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Support Through Prayer ...Part 3

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BrokenheartedWif posted 3/30/2016 13:43 PM

I echo needfriends here Blacksteel

hihn posted 3/30/2016 14:07 PM

My thoughts on the devil, hmmm

His desire is to get us to distance, or alienate ourselves from God. He uses many tactics to achieve this through temptations, accusations, & lies. Jesus himself said that Satan was a murderer, thief, and liar. John 8:44 & John 10:10 Have you ever caught yourself saying this to yourself; God doesn't love you, if he did he wouldn't have allowed this to happen to me if he did. Or God wouldn't want me, look at all the ways I have failed him, I'm a bad person, why would God want me. These are lies we believe that can separate us from or relationship with God. We must be on guard at all times from such deceptions, to prevent self separation from God.

blakesteele posted 3/30/2016 16:46 PM

These are lies we believe that can separate us from or relationship with God. We must be on guard at all times from such deceptions, to prevent self separation from God.

Well said, hihn.

Took me a while to give up my strong independent stance. But I had to do so in order to grasp the very real truth that not all of my thoughts are mine.

If satan can't take you out from the start through discouragement ("See? You haven't changed at all"), he will take you out through deception ("You deserve this" "Its not like you are cheating on your wife").

he thrives on drawing you away from the Shepherd, disconnecting from other folks....anything that isolates you.

I NOW see isolating choices in BOTH Gracerunner's and my lives......and those patterns of choices were established through lies we believed as kids. In fact, it was part of what made us comfortable with each other early on. Our joint "agreement" to do intimacy like we both believed was true....avoiding conflict, denying feelings, treating false assumptions as facts.

We are seeing the light....it still hurts at times, our eyes still need to adjust. But we have felt the warmth of the light too and we don't want to go back to cave dwelling again.

Yeah....God is real, and so is satan.

Look.....if I just believed in God and myself, who is the bad guy? It can't be God as he is perfect....so it must be.........me. You know, like how I felt as a boy coming from sexual abuse and abandonment.

And doesn't satan love that false belief!!! What a perfect camouflage.....what hunter wouldn't like to never be seen by his prey?

Its good to be in the light.

hopefull77 posted 3/30/2016 18:35 PM

Welcome Blakesteele! You and your family have been on my mind! Happy to hear of your progress...
Now about Satan...as a kid I remember the cartoons where they would show Goofy ( I think) trying to make a decision about something...he'd have the guy with the pitchfork on his left shoulder and the guy with the halo on the right...both talking in his ears....was a pretty good depiction of messing with his head! As a product of 12 years of Catholic school and having a " supersticious" Italian Noni the visuals STUCK in me for sure! Pure evil exists in this world...but Satan does not have to be victorius...personally I flip him the bird quite often!
The MAJOR breakthrough for me on this INCREDIBLE. Spiritual journey is I now KNOW...not believe ...I KNOW God is inside EVERY.SINGLE.ONE.OF.US! He is not sitting on some throne waving his hand...God is on this journey with each and everyone of us ....HE does not abandon us...we abandon HIM...we shove God aside...now when that defeatist attitude slips in I just ask for help or better yet I TRY and be Christ like and say Thy will be done....
Easter was so emotional for me this year...between Holy Thursday & Good Friday Services to a beautiful sunrise mass...I truly appreciated "from death to resurrection "...
Peace everyone and try and be thankful for one new thing everyday!

blakesteele posted 3/30/2016 23:09 PM

Wow.....I can relate to how powerful Easter was for you this year. I, too, had powerful sensations within this Easter.

Catholic schools through 7th grade here. Like you this is one incredible spiritual journey. And like you God is real, and is really with us. He didn't just drop the bible off and say "Here you go kids....this is the instruction manual for you....see you later in Heaven.".

He is a living God who desires real, daily relationship with each of us.

We are on the 5 year plan too.

God is indeed in each and every one of us. There is a battle within....and the territory desired is our hearts.

I am grateful my heart, my wife's heart, and so many on SI are healing.

Bitter, hardened hearts favor satan. It was scary to see how bitter and how hard my heart was......and what a joyous feeling to know God desires to heal the broken-hearted.

Peace

BrokenheartedWif posted 3/31/2016 09:09 AM

Thankyou

hihn,blakesteel,and hopefull77

I NOW see isolating choices in BOTH Gracerunner's and my lives......and those patterns of choices were established through lies we believed as kids. In fact, it was part of what made us comfortable with each other early on. Our joint "agreement" to do intimacy like we both believed was true....avoiding conflict, denying feelings, treating false assumptions as facts.
So get this BTDT with my SAWS.

hopefull77 posted 3/31/2016 11:12 AM

I thought you might find this interesting...this was one of my daily devotionals ..
sorry if it's too long : )

In Need of Mercy

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Why does the Bible, and why does Jesus, tell us to care for the poor and the outsider? Is it first of all because people need help? Maybe, but I believe it has a much deeper genius. We are the ones who need to move into the worlds of powerlessness for our own conversion! We need to meet people whose faith, patience, and forgiveness tell us we are still in the kindergarten of love. We need to be influenced by people who are happy without having all the things we think are essential to happiness.

When we are too smug and content, we really have little need for the Gospel, so we make Christianity into pious devotions that ask nothing of us and do nothing for the world. We are never in need of forgiveness because we have constructed a world that allows us to always be right and "normal." We are highly insulated from the human situation. When we are self-sufficient, our religion will be corrupt because it doesn't understand the Mystery of how divine life is transferred, how people change, how life flows, how we become something more, and how we fall into the great compassion.

Only vulnerable people change. Only vulnerable people change others. Jesus presented us with an icon of absolute vulnerability, and said, "Gaze on this until you get the point. Gaze on this until you know what God is like!" That demanded too much of us, so we made the cross instead into a juridical transaction between Jesus and God ("substitutionary atonement theory"), which in great part robbed the cross of its deep transformative power.

It has been said that religion is largely filled with people who are afraid of hell, and spirituality is for people who have gone through hell. As all initiation rites say in one way or another: you have to die before you die, and then you know. Jesus is always on the side of the crucified ones. Jesus is what mythology called a "shape-shifter." He changes sides in the twinkling of an eye to go wherever the pain is. He is not loyal to one religion, to this or that group, or to the worthy; Jesus is loyal to suffering!

Do you realize that takes away all of our usual group-think? Jesus is just as loyal to the suffering of Iraqi and Russian soldiers as he is to the suffering of American and British soldiers. He grabs all our boundaries away from us, and suddenly we are forced to see that we are a universal people. Most people do not like being that exposed and that shared. Yes, God is on the side of the pain, and goes wherever the pain is (which is abundantly clear in the Gospels). We can no longer preempt Jesus for our own group, religion, or country. People seeking power cannot use him for their private purposes. He belongs to the powerless.

A lawyer who joined the Catholic Church and then became a Franciscan said to me one day, "You know, this Church is harder and harder for me to understand. We claim to have the perfect medicine, the healing power to restore and renew hearts and souls, but we seem to say in the same breath, 'But make sure you don't really need it! Because if you really need it, you are a less than ideal member!'"


Too often it seems forgiveness, reconciliation, compassion, and healing are mere concessions, carefully doled out, to those unfortunate sinners and outsiders, instead of the very path of salvation itself. Thank God, we live in a time where we have a Pope who is shouting mercy from the housetops--for everybody who needs it and wants it. Desire is the only pre-requisite. Some cardinals and bishops who apparently don't think they need mercy are very stingy and regulatory in handing it on to others. What does not come around, does not go around, it seems.

blakesteele posted 3/31/2016 12:14 PM

Solid hopeful77.

When we are self-sufficient, our religion will be corrupt because it doesn't understand the Mystery of how divine life is transferred, how people change, how life flows, how we become something more, and how we fall into the great compassion.

Wow. That part is so spot in in my small story thus far.

GR and I were BOTH very self-sufficient. Very proud of that fact too. We came from abusive homes and suffered abandonment. We picked up the philosophy...."we need no one". Strongest thought along this line is "weak people need others".

I dig where this passage went, Hopeful77.....that to grow you must be vulnerable.

If you think you know all you need to, or hold fast to lies but fancy them truths.....is there really any chance for growth?

I also dig the "Jesus is loyal to suffering".


A cool pastor I know said this

"If you pass on the pain in your life, you are most likely passing on the greatest spiritual growth opportunities offered to you."

I've also seen in the bible how God will allow similar trials over and over into your life, whose aim is to uncover long-standing but largely untended to wounds.

Certainly was true in my case.

It took the full abandonment of my wife into the arms of another man to open my eyes to wounding I received as a boy. It took further rejection by her to see just how rejected I was by my own parents. Facing and sitting with that pain opened up the realization that that summer of my boyhood that I classified as "weird" was full on abuse.

In my life it has taken pain to open the door to deeper pain......which finally led to healing.

I'm still quite in the battle....but have had real victories.

God is way cool. Its so interesting to FINALLY realize he is with me NOW. I can talk to him like I do my brother. Its through that realization that I am finding the courage to step out in faith in areas that are new to me.....a field of "real intimacy", complete with conflict and pain!

Odd to find joy even when experiencing pain, isn't it?

hopefull77 posted 3/31/2016 13:19 PM

My H and I are going to listen to this Catholic priest speak (at an Episcopal church : ) BTW)....I CAN NOT WAIT ...he is a bit of a rebel for this little Catholic school girl (but he and a few others I have been reading) who challenged my child like view of God have been a major source of spiritual growth!!I think we have all learned on this journey (spiritual and infidelity)it is NOT good to be stagnant.

peace

steadychevy posted 3/31/2016 14:42 PM

I just read your post on page 11, blakesteele, and haven't read the rest of the thread since you posted it. I am glad you are back. I was worried for you and have been praying for you. My daughters have told me in the past that worry is a sin but it is very difficult for a worry wart to quit.

As usual your post gave me pause to think. I, too, cussed God. I know it is not God's will that WW chose adultery. My beef with him was that he didn't intercede and stop it. I tried to live right and authentic knowing that I continually failed but kept trying. That I was a good servant so why didn't God protect me.

This was while knowing and having said and debated this very topic with christian and secular friends that God doesn't intercede in life. Man is not a programmed robot or puppet. We have free will. God is there for us but it is up to us to go to him. I understood and understand that but I still resented that God didn't intercede for me. Is that the whispers of satan planting discontent and defiance? Looking for another win? I believe so.

Welcome back, blakesteele. I will read the rest of the thread tonight. I need to be checking on the cattle now.

hihn posted 3/31/2016 15:28 PM

Steadychevy, if worry is a sin then I will confess my sin here & now. I too was worried about blakesteele disappearance & prayed to our Lord to reassure me he was alright.

My beef with him was that he didn't intercede and stop it. I tried to live right and authentic knowing that I continually failed but kept trying. That I was a good servant so why didn't God protect me.

I know, I did the same thing. As time passes for me since Dday the more I realize my love and devotion for God was put to the test perhaps because I had become the good servant, much like Job. In the beginning after Dday I often asked the Lord what did do, how did I sin against him to deserve this kind of punishment? I believed you loved me Lord, how could you let a child you loved suffer such horrific pain? He kept answering, through his word, through his calm voice that I hear inside me "I do love you, I never stopped loving you, I am not punishing. Look what a good servant Job was and I tested him. Trust me,I will get you through the storms."

hihn posted 3/31/2016 16:12 PM

Hopefull77, That was a powerful devotional read for me. It struck a cord with me on so many levels. Thanks for sharing it.

I think we have all learned on this journey (spiritual and infidelity)it is NOT good to be stagnant.

Absolutely! I have learned that and so much more on this journey. I am grateful to our God for the learning, even as painful as it was. I am grateful to our Lord that he also provided all of you (my classmates) here in SI to accompany me on my journey. Thank you all for your companionship on this journey of hard knocks. I pray I will have the honor of meeting you all in heaven someday when we gather to celebrate the marriage of the Lord and his bride.

faithfulfeathers posted 3/31/2016 16:20 PM

Resurrection Sunday was a very emotional time for me as well and have been struggling through this week as I continue to try to let go of the outcome and give it all to God. Whether it's my fears, sadness, defeat.

My husband became a believer and was Baptised at Marked Men. God answered that prayer and I am so thankful. Not sure if it will change anything at this point, but at least I know he can make further decisions with his eyes opened instead of cloaked by Satan.

Needsfriendshere, your post made me thankful I wasn't there with him. My childhood was filed with church leaders being led astray. That was the first thing I told my husband was that I trust Christian men very little.

While he was gone, my daughter told me she missed my laugh. That really hit home as I hadn't realized I had stopped. We all need to be able to find our joy in God, separate from the moment and tragedy we are in. It's exhausting to feel drowned by sadness and I want to be done.

I love reading all of the words of wisdom and encouragement on this thread and appreciate all of you sharing your stories and revelations. God is good and such an awesome thing to see his work in us.

needfriendshere posted 3/31/2016 16:45 PM

Faithfulfeathers,

You said:

Needsfriendshere, your post made me thankful I wasn't there with him. My childhood was filed with church leaders being led astray. That was the first thing I told my husband was that I trust Christian men very little.

First, thanks so much for letting me know I've been heard. I feel so alone these days. You wouldn't believe some of the things that have been happening. It's like I am under severe attack and I don't know why. Today, of all things, I got locked INTO my apartment. The lock broke in such a way that the repair man had to climb up the balcony to fix it from the inside to get me out. Yesterday, it was food poisoning.

As for your comment, the funny thing is that I still trust most Christian men. I want to believe that my H was the exception! I think I HAVE to believe that...

I send hugs to you all: Faithfulfeathers, Blakesteele, Hopeful77, Hiln, Steadychevy, and dear, dear Brokenheartedwif. Broken, I especially feel your pain. I think our FWH's crossed too many lines. But here we are (all of us!) - honoring our vows, trying to completely forgive, and to rebuild what the enemy has torn asunder. May the victory be the Lord's!!

faithfulfeathers posted 3/31/2016 17:13 PM

(((Needsfriendshere)))
I understand the alone feeling and needing to know someone hears you, I feel the same way. It's been incredibly hard for me not to isolate myself, not because support isn't wanted but just because where do you even start in this mess.

Will pray for some peace and healing. It is so hard when it feels like everything is going wrong. For once it would be nice if something would go right. My father reminded me that God does hear my prayers and I've held onto that lately. That I need to listen and look to the ones he is answering, like WS finding Him, when everything else is going wrong.

My grandfather is in jail at 80 and was a respected elder in his church as far back as I can remember. My own father (very abusive) is just now really looking to God for the answers although he's been leader in different ministries my whole life and so my perspective is jaded by experience, I'm sure. Maybe God can open my eyes as I meet more Christian men and show me better examples.

steadychevy posted 3/31/2016 19:04 PM

Words fro Jesus about worry in Matthew 6.25 - 34. I think that was what my daughters were referring to about my worry.

Easter Sundays. Sunrise services as a teenaged boy with my Sunday School class. Later with Mom who was a Lay Minister. Followed by hot cross buns.

That was a good reminder about satan, hihn.

BrokenheartedWif posted 3/31/2016 21:29 PM

((faithfulfeathers))

My grandfather is in jail at 80 and was a respected elder in his church as far back as I can remember. My own father (very abusive) is just now really looking to God for the answers although he's been leader in different ministries my whole life and so my perspective is jaded by experience, I'm sure. Maybe God can open my eyes as I meet more Christian men and show me better examples
.

Ask God to allow you to see more truly Christian men, that are better examples than what you have experienced. Many people only develop a surface faith and don't allow God into all the recess of their lives. God loves us; as we are, where we are, but He has so more for us: if we will only allow Him into all of us. It takes time to die to self and to become more like Christ in our love and our actions.

faithfulfeathers posted 4/1/2016 06:43 AM

Thank you Brokenhearted, the hugs were much needed as I wake up on my first anniversary after finding out.

Trying to find grace and see the work God is doing in people's lives is my first step. I will ask Him to show me and give me the opportunity to meet and be able to see men who are walking with him.

We are all sinners and he does come to us and walk with us where we are. There's just so much better for us when we give ourselves to him, instead of holding back.

I explained last night to WS about Jesus going to the desert and facing temptation. Temptation can look enticing regardless of the destruction it causes and the only way to be strong enough against it is to walk with Him. We can allow his strength to help us if we allow him to lead the way, instead of leaning on our own understanding. This is a struggle that can affect any area of our lives, but an ultimate testament in how we die to ourselves.

hopefull77 posted 4/1/2016 09:58 AM

Faithfulfeathers....I pray for your peace of mind today...God is with you...let Him give you rest...

peace

faithfulfeathers posted 4/1/2016 12:44 PM

Thank you Hopefull77
He is giving me rest and some joy as my wonderful kids play duets on the piano together.

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