SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am almost certain my husband is having another affair. I think if I don't file now then I will become complacent again and comfortable in not feeling uncomfortable, and then cycle will keep continuing. I am a SAHM with a side hustle, but can't support myself. I will go back to work, but have been out of the workforce for awhile, so I honestly, don't know how easy getting a job will be. He definitely can't afford two rents on his own.

Do I file for divorce, while I try and get my life back together? Or is that a terrible idea? We don't have assets to really split, just the custody of the kids and child support, which might be difficult.

I don't want to be erratic here. But this is negatively affecting my mental health and now affecting my kids too.

Any advice is welcome!!

Sometimes the best way to make something happen is just to to start. There is not going to be a better place in time until you take the leap. You will be surprised the way our path can be blessed as we start to take the steps. Not stupid at all, it’s momentum versus being stuck. Don’t have family you could stay with for a little while at all?

I’m a SAHM and have spoken to a couple lawyers, this was one of my questions, who pays for divorce? Both parties do. Yes, you can go ahead and file, put it on a credit card as one lawyer advised. All debt will be divided in divorce and all money will be divided as well. If you’re ready to file, get your free attorney consultations and go from there.

There is nothing truly as "can't afford to get divorced." It might mean some years of financial hardship - sharing a bedroom with your kids or renting a room in someone's house and doing a "nesting" arrangement, but it's not impossible. What would you do if your WS died all of a sudden? What if he abandoned you all and took off somewhere with his AP? For your kids' sakes, I'm sure you'd find a way to manage things.

Check out the Fear vs. Reality thread pinned at the top of this forum. It is really helpful in taking those scary steps toward divorce. There is a lot to worry about, and living with much less money and no job security is super stressful! It won't be easy, but in the long run, if you make prudent choices, you're going to be okay.

Some state recognize separation which can protect your finances. This is really a good question for your lawyer.
And you can always detach and start getting your ducks aligned for D. Retrain, get back in the workforce, whatever is needed.